CULT OF THE COBRA

Faith Domergue as Lisa

CULT OF THE COBRA (1955). Director: Francis D. Lyon.

Several soldiers are in Asia in 1945 when they encounter a man named Daru (Leonard Strong), who tells them he can get them in to see the rites of a snake-worshipping cult  -- the Cult of the Cobra -- for a price. Unfortunately, while the ceremony is going on, one of the men, Nick (James Dobson), stupidly takes a photo with a flash bulb! Pandemonium results, one cultist is killed, and a death curse is placed on the heads of the fleeing G.I.s. 

Leonard Strong, Jack Kelly, Reynolds, Janssen

Back in the U.S., Tom (Marshall Thompson) learns that Julia (Kathleen Hughes), who dated both Tom and his roommate Paul (Richard Long), has decided to marry the latter. A despondent Tom is happy to meet a beautiful new neighbor, Lisa (Faith Domergue of Legacy of Blood), and they quickly fall for each other. In the meantime, Tom's G.I. buddies -- Rico (David Janssen), Carl (Jack Kelly), and Pete (William Reynolds) -- begin dying in mysterious ways, and Lisa takes surreptitious walks late at night. The Cult of the Cobra. also known as Lamians, always claimed some of the cultists could change from human into snake ... 

On the rebound? Marshall Thompson

Cult of the Cobra is an entertaining picture with an interesting cast. Although Domergue may not seem like the perfect choice to play an Asian snake goddess, she gives a generally good performance, as does Marshall Thompson. Domergue convincingly gets across her distress that she may be forced to kill a man that she is falling in love with. The other actors show little emotion as their buddies start dropping like flies. The picture has no atmosphere or much directorial flair, although it does generate some suspense towards the end. Kathleen Hughes is decorative as Julia. A confrontation between her and Domergue is over just as it starts to get interesting. 

Verdict: Worth one look but probably not another. **1/2. 

THE WASP WOMAN

Susan Cabot

THE WASP WOMAN (1959). Produced and directed by Roger Corman. 

Janice Starlin (Susan Cabot), the head of a once-flourishing cosmetics company, has a problem. Now hitting forty, she uses younger models in her ad campaigns, but now the sales are falling off because these models don't have an image that registers with consumers as she does. She realizes that she might not only save her company but look young again when she is contacted by Dr. Zinthrop (Michael Mark), who tells her he's developed an enzyme from wasps that has remarkable properties. Alas, it also has a deadly side effect, and before long people in the building start disappearing. A hideous woman with a freakish wasp-like face is on the loose! 

The Wasp Woman on the rampage!

The wasp paralyzes and devours her victims while they're still alive. This last aspect is sort of glossed over (one can imagine it would take Janice quite some time to completely consume the hefty watchman played by Bruno Ve Sota), and there isn't much real on-screen bloodshed in the movie. The pic isn't that well-paced, either, but its last quarter has some exciting sequences, such as when the Wasp Woman attacks a nurse and drags her off for dinner. Susan Cabot is very good in the lead, although one never knows exactly how much she remembers of her exploits once she's turned into the buzzing, hungry horror. Barboura (sic) Morris is a secretary, and the board members include Anthony Eisley, Roy Gordon [Attack of the 50 Foot Woman], and William Roerick. Leo Gordon's screenplay has its amusing elements and some good dialogue to go with it. Fred Katz's brassy score is unusual, but I'm not certain it's the best kind of score for this kind of horror flick. This is one of those movies that you can't take seriously but nevertheless has its depressing aspects because the characters are in such an utterly hopeless situation. 

Verdict: Cute little Corman horror film. **1/2. 

DIE SISTER, DIE!

Jack Ging

DIE SISTER, DIE! (1978). Producer/director: Randall Hood.

"Life is the one disease that's always fatal."

Edward Price (Jack Ging) has always hated his sister, Amanda (Edith Atwater). because she lives in the family mansion and has control of the money. She has attempted suicide more than once but never quite succeeds. Edward hires former nurse Esther (Antoinette Bower) to care for Amanda, with the instruction that she is not to do anything to save her if she decides to try killing herself one more time. But Esther doesn't realize that the brother and sister are hiding a dark secret. The family doctor (Kent Smith) doesn't have a clue, either.

Edith Atwaterr and Antoinette Bower

Yes, Die, Sister Die! sounds like it might be a good bet for suspense fans, but be forewarned that the movie has little suspense, its revelations come much too early in the story, and the picture has no style or dramatic tension. The script isn't helped by mediocre direction and actors who have probably given better performances elsewhere but seem only vaguely interested in what's going on here. Kent Smith probably comes off best. This is one of those movies that has a workable and even intriguing storyline but muffs it on virtually every lever. Hugo Friedhoffer's musical score is incredibly dull and does nothing for the picture. Edith Atwater was also in Strait-Jacket with Joan Crawford. NOTE: IMDB reports the rumor that Jack Ging importuned friend Clint Eastwood to finish the film after the credited director passed away. 

Verdict: If it didn't have enough problems, a slow pace really sinks this. *1/2. 

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES

James Franciscus

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES (1970). Director: Ted Post. 

An astronaut named Brent (James Franciscus) is sent on a rescue mission to find Taylor (Charlton Heston) from Planet of the Apes, and conveniently pops into Earth's future at just about the point that that film ended. Taylor had gone deeper into the "Forbidden Zone" to find out what else is there, while Nova (Linda Harrison) wanders back to "civilization" and meets up with Brent. The two eventually encounter the friendly chimps Zira (Kim Hunter) and Cornelius (David Watson). Maurice Evans is back as the human-hating Dr. Zaius. 

Maurice Evans as Dr. Zaius

However, the main story of the picture has to do with the gorillas, under the orders of General Ursus (a hammy Paul Gregory), deciding to invade the Forbidden Zone and declare war on whatever inhabitants are inside there. These turn out to be disfigured human mutants with telepathic powers who worship an atomic bomb. And things get even sillier after that until a big blow up at the end that should be horrifying but is almost comical.

Brent explores the NYC subway 2000 years later

Beneath the Planet of the Apes is schlock science fiction at its worst, "borrowing" from everything from "By the Waters of Babylon" by Stephen Vincent Benet to Jungle Jim (with natives worshiping a bomb) to The Time Machine to all those mutant-in-the-future movies of the fifties and sixties such as World Without End (an in-joke, perhaps, has the mutants singing a hymn of that title). Their main HQ is Grand Central Terminal in New York. 

There are some good things in this otherwise tedious and terrible movie. At one point a mutant forces Brent and Taylor to fight to the death in a jail cell and this is a lively, well-choreographed sequence, perhaps the only real moment of excitement in the picture. Although a matte painting of a shattered Manhattan is pretty poor, there are some good underground sets of the subways and sunken buildings. None of this is original, of course. The acting is okay, but the only humanistic touch is when the skipper of Franciscus' spaceship, who dies shortly afterward, thinks about the fact that his wife, children and everyone he knows are long dead; Skipper is very well-played by Tod Andrews. Despite the movie being a stinker, it made enough money (because of the massive popularity of Planet of the Apes) to engender several more sequels. 

Verdict:  Ape crap. *1/2. 

BRIDE OF THE GORILLA

Barbara Payton and Raymond Burr

BRIDE OF THE GORILLA (1951). Writer/director: Curt Siodmak. 

Dina (Barbara Payton) is married to the wealthy plantation owner Klaas Van Gelder (Paul Cavanagh), but is secretly in love with his foreman, Barney (Raymond Burr), who returns her feelings. Barney is indirectly responsible for Van Gelder's death-by-snake, but the aged maid Al-Long (Gisela Werbisek), covers up for him and plots her own revenge. Barney begins imagining that he is transforming into a gorilla, and it starts driving him crazy, driving him into the jungle at night as well. Then there are stories of sightings of a supernatural creature that can tear a man to pieces ,,, 

Tom Conway and Lon Chaney, Jr. 

Bride of the Gorilla is similar to another Curt Siodmak film, Curucu, Beast of the Amazon, in that it promises a monster that it never delivers. With photography by Charles Van Enger and a flavorful score by Raoul Kraushaar, the film looks professional, but its script -- despite some interesting elements -- is dead on arrival. I imagine the film had a short shooting schedule as in many scenes the actors seem self-conscious and under-rehearsed. In spite of that, Raymond Burr and Barbara Payton have at least one well-played love scene. Cavanagh is as smooth and adept as ever in his brief appearances, and Tom Conway and Lon Chaney Jr. do the best they can with weak material. Woody Strode, who would go on to much better things, appears very briefly as a policeman. 

Verdict: Fortunately for Raymond Burr, Perry Mason put an end to his appearances in movies like this. **. 

ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER

Treat Williams hollers at the 50 Foot Cheerleader

ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT CHEERLEADER (2012). Director: Kevin O'Neill. 

Cassie (Jena Sims) is a science major who is helping Kyle (Ryan Merriman) develop a rejuvenation formula for business man Mr. Gray (Treat Williams). With a mother (Sean Young) who is always reminding her that she isn't pretty, Cassie decides to boost her self-esteem by testing the formula on herself. Before long she develops big boobs and then starts growing into a giantess, something that doesn't seem to be a problem for her. But there is a rival cheerleader and "mean girl" named Brittany (Olivia Alexander) who is determined not to let Cassie steal her thunder and a giant-sized, if fairly lame bare-breasted "cat-fight" ensues on the football field. 

Sean Young at the nadir of her career

If you're a fan of the far superior 1958 Attack of the 50 Foot Woman and think this movie might be along the same lines, be forewarned that Cheerleader is pretty abysmal. (By the way, this is not to be confused with Attack of the 60 Foot  Centerfold, which came out in 1995.) The effects, which consist primarily of forced perspective shots, aren't really any better than the FX in the 1958 movie, the only decent thing being a giant CGI spider that accidentally ingests some of the formula -- unfortunately the spider is squashed by the cheerleader pretty quickly. 

Mary Woronov as the weird house mother 

While I can understand how Mary Woronov wound up in this movie (as a house mother), I must say I was surprised and a little dismayed to see Sean Young, not to mention Treat Williams, trapped in this trash, although both are more than adequate. Mike MacLean's dreadful screenplay shows real contempt for women, and the laughs it tries to summon up will only work for the less intellectual frat boys. Star Jena Sims displays no real acting ability, although some of the other bitchy cheerleaders are at least vivid in their monstrousness. A. J. Lamas displays some charisma and ability as Brandon, and Ryan Merriman is adept as Kyle. The lead character in this flick is such a moron (as is the man who wrote the line) that she compares not making the cheerleading squad with the Hindenburg disaster! Roger Corman, who produced the film, has a cameo as the dean and is competent. 

Verdict: More boobs than you can shake a stick at for those who care, but a really awful picture. *. 

TEENAGE THUNDER

Chuck Courtney

TEENAGE THUNDER (1957). Director: Paul Helmick. 

18-year-old Johnny Simpson (Chuck Courtney) is a sullen, difficult teenager who keeps making stupid choices, allegedly because his father (Tyler McVey) is neglectful and distant. Johnny takes up with plain-but-appealing waitress Betty Palmer, (Melinda Byron), who asks her sister "why aren't boys as smart as girls are?" True, Betty is a lot smarter than Johnny, whose life is made miserable by bad boy Maurie Weston (Robert Fuller), who not only gets him to play "chicken" but nearly gets both of them killed until Betty intervenes. Johnny's father tries to teach him self-defense, but it backfires, and Johnny steals a hot rod from his former boss, Burt Morrison (Paul Bryar), and takes off. But when he learns that Burt wants to race the hot rod for his son, Jimmy (Gregory Marshall), who has polio, Johnny may have a change of heart. 

Robert Fuller on the left with uncredited player

Teenage Thunder is not really a wild exploitation film with juvenile delinquents and wild, painted women -- more's the pity -- but more along the lines of a lower-budgeted Disney picture, with obvious moral statements and a wind-up meant to tug at the heart strings. The best scene is between Tyler McVey and Paul Bryar when Johnny's boss comes to give his father some advice. Although not especially charismatic, Chuck Courtney, who was actually 27,  gives a more than adequate performance, and eventually amassed 91 credits, most of them on television. His most famous film was Billy the Kid Vs. Dracula, in which he played William Bonney. Robert Fuller, on the other hand, who also had a long career, exudes plenty of charisma as Maurie; he and Courtney were good friends in real life. Melinda Byron had only 15 credits. The other actors all turn in solid performances. The climactic race takes all of ten seconds!

Verdict: Not enough of those hot rods! **.