INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008). Director: Steven Spielberg. 

In 1957 some Russians, led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), attack a U.S. military base and carry off an artifact that is stored there. Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) manages to survive the attack, and even lives through an atomic test by sheltering inside a refrigerator in a model town filled with dummies. Teaming up with a young man named "Mutt" (Shia LaBeouf) he later learns that his mother is Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and that Mutt is his son. The whole group, along with Irina and her boys and an addle-pated Professor Oxley (John Hurt) ,wind up in South America, where they discover the hidden "El Dorado" as well as the remnants of alien beings who have skulls made of crystal. Or something like that. 

Ford, Allen, Blanchett

The trouble these days with the Indiana Jones movies, which were originally imitations of the classic cliffhanger serials, is that there have been so many imitations and rip-offs of the franchise -- everything from the National Treasure movies to the Da Vince Code and so on and so on -- that any originality has been completely eradicated. The very over-familiar elements in this include grumpy Jones' relationships with ex-girlfriend and son, the maps and codes that will lead to the treasure, the aliens (who resemble the monster in Alien in some ways as well as the aliens in Close Encounters), the locales that we've all seen before etc. etc. There is absolutely nothing fresh and new in the film. Obsessive fans probably won't care, finding the cliches comforting and endearing. 

LaBeouf and Ford

Steven Spielberg directs by the numbers. I've often felt that the FX people and cinematographers do all the work, actually, in some movies like this. Some of the action sequences in Crystal Skull are quite well-done -- not always the case in heroic thrillers -- but you are always getting the sensation that it's all stuff you've seen many times before -- the amazing leaps, the foolhardy jumps into space, driving off of cliffs etc. Is there anything unusual about any of this? The movie does have, for me at least, one knock-out sequence, and that's when the characters are besieged by very large and voracious ants who move with frightening swiftness. (Of course, there's nothing original about that, either, but it does look great!) The underground sets look too new and are always over-lit, making them much less creepy than they could have been. 

Allen, Ford and Hurt

As for the actors, well Ford could probably play this part while asleep. Blanchett is effective, although she seems to be channeling Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle most of the time. Allen remains perky and attractive in her way. It is probably not LaBeouf's fault that Mutt comes off as being rather obnoxious through much of the movie. I found the whole flick too cutesy and obvious by far and was annoyed that a sequence at the very end rips off Journey to the Center of the Earth. 

Verdict: You'll swear you've already seen this even if you haven't. **1/2. 

SHADOWZONE

creature sneaks up on Louise Fletcher

SHADOWZONE (1990). Written and directed by J. S. Cardone. 

In an isolated underground bunker on an abandoned base, scientists are doing experiments for NASA related to test flights. When one of the test subjects dies, Captain Hickok (David Beecroft) is called in to see what's up. There he meets the project head Dr. Van Fleet (James Hong), his assistant Dr. Erhardt (Louise Fletcher), Dr. Kidwell (Shawn Weatherly), technician Wiley (Miquel A. Nunez Jr.) and others. Their subjects are put in a deep sleep below the dream state which somehow opens up a doorway into a parallel dimension, and through that doorway comes a monstrous creature that can read minds and change its shape to look like anyone or anything. Worse, the creature is radioactive so security devices have locked everyone inside with it ... 

David Beecroft and Shawn Weatherly

Shadowzone sounds much better than it is. The movie has interesting elements but little is done with them, especially as it pertains to the monster's ability to metamorphose. The movie actually becomes less interesting when the monster gets loose because nothing that happens is that exciting. The creature doesn't look bad (well actually it looks pretty awful but you know what I mean)! Shadowzone has some atmosphere, a good location, and is well-acted by most of the cast. David Beecroft makes a convincing macho officer and struts his handsome stuff with the best of them. Poor Louise Fletcher, looking like something the cat dragged in, is also convincing enough even if the script doesn't offer her the most exiting part. James Hong is a good, very busy, and very familiar actor who's been working since the early fifties and is still working today, as is Miquel Nunez. 

Verdict: Like a comic book story from the fifties and about as scientifically accurate. **. 

OSS 117: MISSION FOR A KILLER

Frederick Stafford

OSS 117: MISSION FOR A KILLER (aka Furia a Bahia pour OSS 117/1965.) Director: Andre Hunebelle. 

After a series of suicide bombings which seem to be committed by solid citizens who have been drugged, Agent 117 (Frederick Stafford) is sent down to Rio to investigate. There he meets two lovely ladies: supposed secretary Consuela (Perrette Predier), who's in league with the bad guys, and Ana-Maria (Mylene Demongeot), who is being targeted by them because she knows too much. Ana-Maria and her brother Miguel (Jacques Riberolles) are friends with a man named Leandro (Raymond Pellegrin) who may or may not be in league with Carlos (Francois Maistre), who wants to bring about a New World Order from his base in the jungles of Brazil. 

Stafford, Demongeot, Riberolles

After Kerwin Mathews finished two OSS 117 films for director Andre Hunebelle, the latter discovered Czech actor Stafford and cast him as the secret agent in his first movie. Like Mathews, Stafford plays a super-cool, seemingly unflappable and mostly unemotional  spy. While he isn't better in the role than Mathews, he does seem a touch more likable. In addition to widescreen photography and color, the film greatly benefits from intriguing and colorful locales and some spectacular scenery. 

Spectacular scenery

Mission for a Killer has several memorable scenes: a gunman opens fire in an operating theater, killing the patient, shooting doctors and nurses, and nearly killing 117 and Ana-Maria. There's a terrific sequence in which a felon uses a flame thrower on 117 and doesn't care if he burns up his own partner or the entire house. Then there's a lively battle on a plane over the Amazon where the balance of power quickly shifts from one side to the other and back again. A climax on a waterfall boasts a truly spectacular setting. While Mission for a Killer isn't quite up to the level of the best of the Bonds, it is still a superior eurospy movie. Stafford later starred in Alfred Hitchcock's Topaz. Followed by OSS 117: Mission to Tokyo. In French, with English sub-titles.

Verdict: Smooth, fast-paced entertaining spy stuff. ***. 

Listen to SAURIAN

JUST OUT: My vintage horror novel SAURIAN can now be listened to on Audible as well as read. This audio book is read beautifully by Andrew Gibson! This is from Encyclopocalypse Publications.

"It appeared mysteriously, at night, and destroyed the town with amazing swiftness. Houses were flattened, the bodies of men, women, and children were crushed and mangled, hundreds were missing, vanished without a trace. No one knew what had happened or why. Years later, the sole survivor of the holocaust, Tom Bartlett, began to suffer blinding visions—visions of a huge creature, unparalleled in size, intelligence, and evil. He was frightened, but something was calling him back to the ruins of his boyhood home. He was the only man alive who had even guessed at the creature's existence, and he knew he must find it before it struck again. What he didn't know was that while he was searching for the beast, it was searching for him...."

          Available on Amazon. 

COUNTRY MUSIC HOLIDAY

June Carter Cash and Ferlin Husky

COUNTRY MUSIC HOLIDAY (1958). Director: Alvin Ganzer. 

Returning from Japan after a stint in the army, Vern Brand (Ferlin Husky) finds that his pal Clyde Woods (Faron Young) has become a big country music star. Vern's Pappy (Rod Brasfield) is convinced that Vern is more talented and could do even better. Former bookie turned music producer Sonny Moon (Jesse White) wants a singer who can rival Clyde and sends him a bus ticket to Manhattan. There Vern tours the nightclubs for publicity and becomes acquainted with Zsa Zsa Gabor (playing herself), who takes a shine to him. Back in Tennessee, Vern's girlfriend Marietta (June Carter Cash) reads of all this and decides to take off for New York ... 

Zsa Zsa Gabor and Jesse White

Although released by a major studio, Country Music Holiday comes off more like something from Monogram. Although Husky, a genuine country music star, is not Olivier, he can act and has a degree of charm (although I could have done without his putdown of a true genius like Tchaikovsky). Jesse White is as obnoxious as ever. Zsa Zsa Gabor manages to give a decent and amusing performance playing herself. Faron Young was also a country star and is appealing. June Carter (Cash) manages to get across her fear that Vern will forget her once he goes to New York without having to even say it. Another cast member is Rocky Graziano, also playing himself as an assistant to Sonny Moon. Two characters named Al Fisher and Lou Marks also play themselves, former Army buddies of Vern's who become his manager -- they are pretty awful. There are numerous -- far too many -- people playing assorted agents, TV producers, variety show hosts and so on. Patty Duke, in her first movie, plays Vern's sister, but you won't recognize her. 

June Carter Cash and Ferlin Husky

The movie's only justification are the generally memorable musical numbers. Faron Young sings "The Face of Love" and does a swingin' version of "When It Rains It Pours" with Elvis-like gyrations. Ferlin Husky's numbers include the title tune (by David and Bacharach), "My Home Town," "Terrific Together" and "Wide, Wide World," all of which are quite catchy. When Zsa Zsa first meets Vern she refers to country music as "peasant" music! Love that Zsa Zsa! The screenplay for this is pretty bad, which is probably why Husky wound up in even worse crap like Hillbillies in a Haunted House!

Verdict: Husky deserved better. **. 

HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE

Joi Lansing and Ferlin Husky

HILLBILLIES IN A HAUNTED HOUSE (1967). Director: Jean Yarbrough.

Singer Woody Wetherby (country star Ferlin Husky), his girl singer, Boots Malone (Joi Lansing), and his manager, Jeepers (Don Bowman), are traveling to Nashville for a concert when bad weather and automobile trouble forces them to seek shelter in a creepy old mansion. They don't realize that the new owner, Madame Wong (Linda Ho), is running an espionage outfit that employs Max (Lon Chaney Jr.), Gregor (Basil Rathbone) and Dr. Himmil (John Carradine of Female Jungle), not to mention a bad-tempered gorilla named Anatole (George Barrows). Will Jim Meadows (Richard Webb of The Invisible Monster), secret agent for MOTHER, be able to save Boots from the Iron Maiden and make the world safe for democracy? 

Slumming: Rathbone and Carradine

Hillbillies is actually the second of two films starring Husky as Wetherby, following Las Vegas Hillbillies, in which Boots Malone was played by Mamie Van Doren and Jayne Mansfield also had a part. The first one couldn't possibly have been worse than this awful concoction, which wastes the talents of virtually everyone, especially Carradine and poor Basil Rathbone. The last ten minutes are a concert with songs being performed by Molly Bee, Merle Haggard  and Marcella Wright ("Strangers"). Husky himself does a nice job with "One Bridge I Have Never Crossed." In his heyday and for many years Husky was a very, very popular entertainer. As for Joi Lansing, who always seemed to play the perennial dumb blonde, it's ironic that in this picture she plays it straight! Jean Yarbrough also directed Inside Job and a great many other movies. 

Verdict: Aside from some of the songs there's little point in sitting through this. *1/2. 

FRIGHT

 FRIGHT (1971). Director: Peter Collinson. 

Amanda (Susan George) comes to an isolated mansion to babysit the little son, Tara (Tara Collinson), of Helen Lloyd (Honor Blackman of Account Rendered) and her husband, Jim (George Cole). Helen's ex-husband, Brian (Ian Bannen), the father of Tara, has been institutionalized since he tried to murder both Helen and their son. As the Lloyds have dinner and talk things over with Brian's shrink, Dr. Cordell (John Gregson), Amanda has the feeling that someone is stalking the grounds of the estate. A wannabee boyfriend, Chris (Dennis Waterman), shows up, wanting sex, but there's a far worse visitor in store for the terrified babysitter.

Fright has some genuine scenes of suspense, tension and creepiness, but the final quarter is far too drawn out, so that you're almost screaming for the damn thing to finally be over. Susan George gives a generally good performance, while Blackman and Ian Bannen are really top-notch. Bannen, in particular, seems always on the edge of a terrible violence. The film is rather unpleasant, however, and some may not enjoy the fact that a small child is endangered throughout. The boy is portrayed by the director's own four-year-old son. Another problem with the film is that it has several illogical moments. In at least one sequence you have to wonder why the heroine doesn't just run out the back door? Collinson also directed the 1974 version of Ten Little Indians for producer Harry Alan Towers.

Verdict: Comes quite close but somehow drops the ball. **1/4. 

 

LURE OF THE ISLANDS

Robert Lowery and Margie Hart

LURE OF THE ISLANDS (1942). Director: Jean Yarbrough.  

During WW2 two American agents -- Wally (Robert Lowery of Sensation Hunters) and Jinx (Guinn 'Big Boy' Williams) -- are told by the skipper (Tristram Coffin) to swim to a Tropical island paradise that may be a nest of Axis agents. There the boys encounter two women: Brooklyn-born Tana (Margie Hart), who hopes Wally will marry her and take her back to the U.S.; and Maui (Gale Storm of Nearly Eighteen), who is only interested in Jinx when Tana fibs that he's a pig millionaire. In this not terribly serious "war" film with song numbers, the foursome have to deal with a Nazi commandant (Ivan Lebedeff) and some Japanese who hope to turn the island into their base. 

Williams and Storm

Margie Hart was a burlesque stripper -- a competitor of Gypsy Rose Lee's -- who tried to kickstart a movie career by starring in this Monogram cheapie, which throws in everything but the kitchen sink. Unfortunately, Hart proved to be barely adequate as an actress. Although she later took acting lessons and did some theater, Lure of the Islands was her first and last movie. However, this is the kind of schlock that Lowery, Williams and Storm could probably do in their sleep, and they make a better impression. Hart warbles the pretty title tune (although she may have been dubbed) and Gale does a very cute number entitled "My Tahiti Sweetie" that boasts some clever and amusing lyrics. Kahala and Odetta Bray are the pretty native dancers and singers. 

Verdict: Another weird low-budget melange from Monogram. **1/2. 

HOUSE OF A THOUSAND DOLLS

George Nader, Martha Hyer and Vincent Price

HOUSE OF A THOUSAND DOLLS (aka House of 1000 Dolls/1967). Director: Jeremy Summers. 

Dr. Stephen Armstrong (George Nader of Sins of Jezebel) and his wife, Marie (Ann Smryner), are vacationing in Tangier when their friend, Fernando (Sancho Gracia), tells them that he's searching for his missing fiancee, Diane (Maria Rohm). Diane was last seen in Vienna where she was made to disappear by stage magician Manderville (Vincent Price) and his assistant, Rebecca (Martha Hyer of First Men in the Moon) -- and she was never seen again. Diane has been shanghaied to the House of 1000 Dolls, a house of prostitution where most of the kidnapped girls are forced to service wealthy clients and are mistreated by the staff, including Madame Viera (Yelena Samarina). When Fernando is found murdered, Stephen begins his own investigation, but he doesn't realize that this will cause a lot of trouble for himself and his wife ... 

Magician Manderville (right) checks out Dr. Armstrong

House of a Thousand Dolls, whose villains are truly loathsome, has a certain sinister atmosphere throughout and holds the attention, if for no other reason than you hope to see the bad guys get their comeuppance at the finish. Manderville, Rebecca, and the others report to a mysterious King of Hearts whose identity isn't revealed until the end. The actors are all professional, although Price -- probably contemplating which piece of art he will buy with his paycheck -- doesn't put himself out too much. Luis Rivera makes an impression as Fernando's sexy friend, Paul. For some reason Stephen is remarkably obnoxious to the police inspector (Wolfgang Kieling of Our Man in Jamaica) in the case, which seems foolish for someone who may need the man's help in the future. There's a fairly exciting chase scene with two desperadoes pursuing Stephen through a series of interesting locations (the film was actually shot mostly in Spain). Reportedly a racier version of the flick was shown in Europe. The villains in this don't really get the vicious fates they so richly deserve. 

Verdict: Minor but entertaining and smooth Euro-thriller. ***.  

FEAR IN THE NIGHT

FEAR IN THE NIGHT (1972). Produced and directed by Jimmy Sangster.

Newlyweds Peggy (Judy Geeson of Berserk) and Robert Heller (Ralph Bates) have moved into a cottage on the grounds of a boys school owned and run by headmaster Michael Carmichael (Peter Cushing of The Beast Must Die). Michael has a much younger wife named Molly (Joan Collins). Peggy has already been attacked by a man with a prosthetic arm back in the city, when this same man breaks into the cottage. Robert, who knows that Peggy was seeing a doctor after a nervous breakdown, isn't certain whether to believe her or not. One evening he has to go on an errand for Michael, and Peggy is left all alone in the house. Bad things are going to happen ... 

Ralph Bates and Judy Geeson

Fear in the Night is an intriguing and suspenseful Hammer thriller with some excellent performances. Even if you get clued in to some of the things that are going on, there are still some interesting twists to the story. Once everything has unfolded there is also a degree of pathos when you realize how cruelly one of the innocent characters has been used. The great Peter Cushing adds some class to the picture as he generally does, Bates doesn't give away if he's keeping secrets or not, Collins is suitably tough and forceful in her portrayal, and Geeson generally manages to deal with all of the sinister goings-on with aplomb. Sangster, who also co-wrote the screenplay, never lets the pace flag. It all builds to a quite satisfactory conclusion. 

Verdict:  Notable Hammer suspense film with fine performances. ***.