THE SEA SERPENT

The pop-eyed serpent of The Sea Serpent

THE SEA SERPENT (aka Serpiente de mar/1985). Writer/Director: Gregory Greens (Amando de Ossorio).

Pedro Fontan (Timothy Bottoms) loses his licence as ship's captain and may go to jail for claiming that his ship was sunk by a sea monster. Linares (Jared Martin), who didn't see the creature, insists to a board of review that Pedro was drunk. Pedro was also captain of another ship that sunk, and Linares' sister died. Leaning of a woman, Margaret (Taryn  Power), who was institutionalized after seeing her friend devoured by the creature, Pedro goes to see her and sneaks her out of the hospital. The two then contact Professor Wallace (Ray Milland), who after initial distrust, believes their stories and decides to help them track down the sea monster, which was apparently created or revived when the military activated and dropped an atomic bomb in the ocean to keep it out of the hands of the enemy (!). 

Bottoms, Power, Milland

If you're hoping for a classic sea monster movie like The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms or a not-quite-classic like The Giant Behemoth -- and this movie borrows many elements from both films -- be warned that The Sea Serpent is nowhere near that level. The screenplay itself is by no means terrible, and there is at least an attempt at characterization, but the movie is almost defeated by the rather silly-looking monster. Not a "sock puppet" as many have described it, the creature has a full-size prop head large enough for certain actors to fit inside its mouth. (The scenes of the beast gobbling down supporting cast members eventually become comical.) The monster is quite large, with a very long, snake-like, slithering body that in one genuinely creepy scene winds itself around and around a lighthouse. The climax involving a bridge and a helicopter is somewhat exciting as well, if only the budget and the FX had been up to the challenge. The protagonists in the movie seem less interested in fully destroying the monster than they are in simply chasing it away so it can become somebody else's problem! Nice!

Bottoms and Power

One might suggest that the performances in the film are better than the movie deserves. Although most of the actors are dubbed, it appears as if the four leads were allowed to use their own voices. One has to say that this cheapie-creepy certainly has an interesting cast: Bottoms from The Last Picture Show; Martin from TV's Dallas; Milland, a Best Actor Oscar-winner for The Lost Weekend; and Tyrone Power's daughter, Taryn, from Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger. I wonder if they knew what the monster with its decidedly limited movement would look like while they were filming? It's one of the least convincing monsters since the big bird of The Giant Claw. 

The Sea Serpent was Milland's last theatrical film. Power only made one more film out of ten. Bottoms' career survived this flop and he is still acting and producing today. Martin passed away in 2017 at age 75. 

Verdict: Not completely atrocious, but hardly one of the better efforts in the genre. **. 

RAILROADED

Hugh Beaumont

RAILROADED (1947). Director: Anthony Mann. 

Steve Ryan (Ed Kelly) is falsely accused of robbery and the murder of a police officer when the real culprit is nasty hood Duke Martin (John Ireland). Duke's hard-as-a-hooker girlfriend, Clara (Jane Randolph), fingers poor Steve, but even she begins to develop a conscience when other witnesses wind up murdered. Sgt. Mickey Ferguson (Hugh Beaumont), a cop from the old neighborhood, has to arrest Steve, incurring the wrath of Steve's feisty sister, Rosie (Sheila Ryan), who begins a relationship with Duke to ferret out information. Meanwhile Mickey hopes he can get a love-sick but frightened Clara to turn on her boyfriend and tell the truth. 

John Ireland and Jane Randolph

Railroaded is an absorbing if minor entry in the film noir genre, bolstered by some good performances. Although best known as a kind of bland father on Leave It to Beaver, Beaumont was generally good playing cops, private eyes, and especially bad guys in low-budget melodramas like this one. Randolph and Ryan, who have a fairly zesty cat-fight at one point, are both effective as the ladies in the story, and Ireland makes a convincing villain. Steve Ryan is fine as the decent guy accused of a terrible crime, but he only appeared in two other pictures. Keefe Braselle plays another guy who took part in the robbery, and Roy Gordon [Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman] is a mob boss who gives Duke his orders; both are good. From PRC (Producers Releasing Corporation). 

Verdict: Lower case film noir with some interesting performers. **1/2. 

DON'T OPEN TILL DOOMSDAY: OUTER LIMITS

Miriam Hopkins

THE OUTER LIMITS: DON'T OPEN TILL DOOMSDAY (1964). 

This episode of the sixties science fiction show The Outer Limits is of interest primarily because of the excellent performance by guest-star Miriam Hopkins. Hopkins, who is deliberately made up to look grotesque, plays a woman whose husband disappeared on their wedding night back in the 1920's. Where is he? Well, here's where things get strange. An alien creature, that has been imprisoned in a box and is out to play havoc with the universe, has sucked the husband, Harvey (David Frankham), into the same box and won't let him out unless he agrees to help him with his dastardly plans. Out of her mind, not accepting that nearly thirty-five years have gone by, Hopkins plots to find another man to take his place in the box, not that this would necessarily free Harvey. 

To say that Joseph Stefano's teleplay for this episode is half-baked is an understatement. We never learn how Harvey has managed to stay sane himself after all these years -- or does time move at a much faster rate for him than for his wife? The little alien looks pretty ridiculous. Stefano throws in a lot of different and even compelling ideas but none of them are developed very well. The whole thing just seems so ridiculous, poorly thought out, and ultimately, quite silly, like a bad comic book story of the fifties. Frankly, Hopkins gives the episode more than it deserves. 

Verdict: Not one of the better Outer Limits. **. 

ALONG CAME A SPIDER

Morgan Freeman as Dr. Alex Cross

ALONG CAME A SPIDER (2001). Director: Lee Tamahori. 

After a senator's young daughter, Megan (Mika Boorem), is kidnapped from an exclusive private school by her teacher, Soneji (Michael Wincott), the villain contacts profiler Alex Cross (Morgan Freeman), bringing him into the case. Cross works with Jezzie Flannigan (Monica Potter), who had been responsible for the child's safety. Together, and working with other agents, the two of them play cat and mouse with Soneji, trying to figure out where he is and what he really looks like. Cross is fairly certain that Soneji does not intend to kill the youngster, but can anyone be absolutely certain of that? 

Michael Wincott

Along Came a Spider is a smoothly directed and fast-paced suspense thriller with good sequences, and a couple of twists that you may or may not see coming. Freeman is okay, if unexciting; Potter plays her part to perfection; and Wincott makes a fairly dynamic and interesting bad guy. There is also nice work from Michael Moriarty and Penelope Ann Miller as the girl's worried parents; Dylan Baker and Billy Burke as agents; and Mika Boorem as the feisty Megan and Anton Yelchin as her young friend, Dimitri. The talented Yelchin died tragically at age 27. 

Verdict: Slick and exciting. ***. 

THE LEECH WOMAN

Coleen Gray and  Estelle Hemsley

THE LEECH WOMAN (1960). Director: Edward Dein. 

Dr. Paul Talbot (Phillip Terry) has driven his wife, June (Coleen Gray), to drink, and is even more contemptuous of her now that she's a dipsomaniac. However, when they encounter a woman named Malla (Estelle Hemsley), who claims she is 152-years-old and that her tribe back in Africa can make her young again, the Talbots lives begin a downward spiral into horror. 

Back to beauty: Coleen Gray

Malla believes that men grow distinguished with age but that an aged woman is pretty useless. Her tribe offers its old women one night of regained youth, beauty and love before dying. Oddly, one of the tribe's males has to be sacrificed in order for the woman to have one more night of life. Accompanied by their guide, Bertram (John Van Dreelen), the Talbots travel to Africa where June is offered her lost youth -- only she must pick the man for the sacrifice. Guess who's chosen? Using a powder derived from orchids combined with liquid from the pineal gland, June becomes young and sexy again. But for how long? And how many men will have to die in order for her to stay young?

Grant Williams and Coleen Gray

The Leech Woman is a fun movie if you don't take it seriously. The sequences in Africa are quite flavorful, with well-chosen clips of wild life and the like, and the scenes with the natives are all well-played. The movie becomes a bit stage-bound once the characters are back in the U.S., and not nearly enough is done with the film's basic premise of murder-for-youth. Gray gives a very good performance in a difficult role -- she pretends to be her own niece once she's young again -- but is on top of things all the way through. Terry is fine as the oily and distasteful Paul, Van Dreelen makes a convincing Bertram, and Grant Williams [Soldiers of Fortune] and Gloria Talbott are also good as June's somewhat sleazy lawyer and his over-anxious fiancee. Virtually every character in the movie is a certified creep. Irving Getz' score and a fast pace are decided assets. 

Verdict: Ridiculous but amusing horror flick with a solid lead performance. ***.

LIFEFORCE

Steve Railsback

LIFEFORCE (1985). Director: Tobe Hooper. 

Colonel Tom Carlson (Steve Railsback) leads a crew of astronauts who are investigating Halley's comet when they come across a huge derelict spaceship. Inside it they find many deceased bat-like creatures, and are unaware that three of the survivors of the alien race have transformed themselves into attractive humans. One of the trio is a naked female (Mathilda May) who begins to entrance the Colonel. This "woman" is an energy vampire, and back on earth she and her companions create havoc, leading to a plague in London and a near-apocalypse that only Carlson can stop. 

Pitiful victim of the space vampires

Lifeforce was not well-received when it was released -- I always thought the film was actually not bad -- maybe because the plot was a little confusing and audiences at the time may have been sick of zombies. But Lifeforce moves at a swift pace, is well-acted, has some marvelous special effects and stand-out sequences, and the riot scenes in London are very well-staged. In fact, Tobe Hooper's direction [Texas Chainsaw Massacre] is on-target every step of the way. There's a terrific sequence involving an autopsy, as well as a scene inside a copter when the vampire uses blood to form a surrogate body. Although one wouldn't expect this is the kind of material to be scored by Henry Mancini, the composer does an excellent job. 

Steve Railsback and Patrick Stewart 

Steve Railsback gives a very effective performance as Colonel Carlson. As for the supporting cast, Peter Firth seems to be channeling Brian Donlevy as Professor Quatermass in his generally cold portrayal of Colonel Caine. Patrick Stewart scores as Dr. Armstrong, who runs a psychiatric institution and who has been possessed, in a way, by one of the vampires. There's a wild scene when Tom Carlson smooches Dr. Armstrong on the mouth, thinking he's kissing the lady from space! Frank Finlay and Michael Gothard are also good as scientists fighting against the vampires. 

Mathilda May

Lifeforce was undoubtedly influential on Species -- which also featured a sexy female creature --  which came out ten years later. It's also possible that Lifeforce was influenced by Alien, as well the 1979 "Proteus" storyline in the X-Men comic book, in which the villain absorbs energy from victims, leaves them desiccated husks, and takes on their form. One might argue that the entertaining and fast-paced Lifeforce is a bit too busy at times, and is borderline campy, but in general the film is quite well-made and entertaining, if rather cold-blooded.

Verdict: One of Hooper's best pictures. ***. 

EATEN ALIVE AT A CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE FILMS OF TOBE HOOPER

EATEN ALIVE AT A CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE FILMS OF TOBE HOOPER. John Kenneth Muir. McFarland; 2002. 

In this entertaining look at the career of director Tobe Hooper [The Texas Chainsaw Massacre], Muir makes a case that he was under-rated and should have received the same accolades as, say, John Carpenter or Wes Craven. He examines how the untrue rumor that Poltergeist was directed not by Hooper but by producer Steven Spielberg was detrimental, as was the critical and financial failure of the under-rated Lifeforce. Muir, however, does not love every Hooper film and is unsparing in his criticism of certain pictures that turned out very badly. Muir is also not a mindless gore geek, arguing that the extreme graphic carnage of certain Hooper films, such as The Mangler, actually detracted from the films' effectiveness and enjoyment. Muir occasionally goes awry in trying too hard to find deep meaning in some of Hooper's films. Is Lifeforce really an allegory of sex in the age of AIDS? His lengthy and admittedly interesting analysis of Texas Chainsaw at times borders on the pretentious. Still, if Muir wants to see Chainsaw as some kind of profound masterpiece, that's his prerogative. Whatever your opinion of that particular film and of Hooper as a director, this book is well-written, well-researched, and very informative and readable.

Verdict: A must for Hooper and Texas Chainsaw Massacre fans. ***.

PIRANHA (1995)

William Katt and Darleen Carr

PIRANHA (1995 telefilm). Director: Scott P. Levy.

A writer named Paul Grogan (William Katt) and a private eye named Maggie (Alexandra Paul) look for a wealthy developer's missing daughter. Fearing that the young lady and her boyfriend might have drowned in a pool at an abandoned complex, Maggie drains the water, and inadvertently unleashes a horde of voracious, razor-toothed, foot-long piranha who begin devouring everything in their path (but not each other -- huh?) Paul and Maggie try to stop the critters from reaching a camp where his daughter is staying, as well as a new resort that is scheduled to open that day. 

William Katt

Piranha is a scene-by-scene made-for-cable remake of the original 1978 movie, which was no great shakes to begin with. The most effective scenes in the original are also the most effective in the remake: for instance when the fish nibble away at the ropes holding the raft together as Paul and the others sail down the river. The film is a bit bloodier than the original, and attack sequences, especially on children, are still disturbing (but not nearly as atrocious and ugly as the massacre scene in yet another remake Piranha 3D). William Katt of Carrie fame gives a good performance, although he doesn't make as much of an impression as Brad Dillman in the original. Conversely, Alexandra Paul is more effective and less "cutesy" than Heather Menzies in the '78 version -- her acting definitely got better after Christine. In a sex switch, Darlene Carr is good as the disturbed scientist who has created the deadly breed of killer fish and sacrifices herself to save a child. Monte Markham plays the greedy developer whose daughter becomes fish food in the opening sequence. 

Verdict: Unnecessary remake. **. 

MISSILE TO THE MOON

A popular spider and Cathy Downs

MISSILE TO THE MOON (1958). Director: Richard E. Cunha.

Scientist Dirk Green (Michael Whalen) has built a spaceship to the moon and decides to take off with the help of two escaped convicts that he sort of blackmails into going along. Trapped in the rocket are Green's associate, Steve Dayton (Richard Travis) and his fiancee, June (Cathy Downs). Of the two fugitives, Gary (Tommy Cook) is more edgy and obnoxious  while his buddy, Lon (Gary Clarke), is a nicer person who was pulled into committing robberies. Once on the moon, the motley crew -- minus Green, who is killed en route -- discovers an oxygen-filled cavern full of virtually nothing but beautiful women, most of them played by International beauty contest winners!

Cathy Downs vs Nina Bara

Apparently the moon is a hotbed of intrigue. The Lido -- or queen -- of the colony (K. T. Stevens), who is blind, is in a power-struggle with busty and aggressive Alpha (Nina Bara). Both women mistake Steve for Green -- the Lido being blind and Alpha having been a child when she last saw Green, who turns out to be a moon being who was desperate to get back to his people. (The logistics of this are glossed over.) Steve's deception is uncovered when June learns that Alpha intends to marry Steve, and the two women engage in a catfight, with June nearly being sacrificed to a gigantic spider monster. If that weren't enough, the moon also has menacing rock men who (in a clever bit) pull themselves out of the camouflage of the surrounding mountains and take after the earthlings in somewhat comical fashion. The fiery death of one of the characters late in the picture was an early "shock" scene for some viewers. 

Tommy Cook, Leslie Parrish, Gary Clarke

Missile to the Moon is a remake of Cat-women of the Moon, and is a better picture. Now I can well understand if anyone looks at this movie and decides it's a load of crap, and they wouldn't necessarily be wrong. But keep in mind that Missile is a kid's movie, and it was as a kid that I first saw it -- and loved it -- on television. All these years later I still find it a hoot. The movie has all the illogic of a comic book. As for the acting, Richard Travis is pretty much as stiff as ever, but the other cast members are better, with Bara effective as the nasty throne-stealer, and Leslie Parrish (billed as Marjorie Hellen) appealing as Zema, who forms an attachment to lonely Lon. Laurie Mitchell, who played the title role in Queen of Outer Space, is cast as Lambda, who becomes the spider's supper. Speaking of the spider, this prop creature with its limited movements was a supporting player in any number of TV shows and feature films, including the aforementioned Queen, and was creepy enough in appearance. The other FX in the film are decidedly low-tech but okay, considering the budget.  

K. T. Stevens as the "Lido" of the moon

Cathy Downs' most famous credit after this was The Amazing Colossal Man, in which she was quite good. Richard Travis co-starred with Bette Davis in The Man Who Came to Dinner, but after that he was relegated to TV appearances and B movies. K. T. Stevens was the daughter of director Sam Wood, and appeared primarily on television. The late Nina Bara had one more credit after Missile and retired in 1961. The late Michael Whalen amassed 92 credits in his long career. Tommy Cook and Gary Clarke are both still alive and making movies. Missile to the Moon has been digitally restored as well as colorized and looks great, although I'm not certain if the moon ladies were always supposed to have had blue skin. The attitudes of and towards women in this picture are strictly 1950's in all respects! 

Verdict: A fun movie but hardly for every taste. ***. 

NEW ORLEANS UNCENSORED

Beverly Garland and Arthur Franz

NEW ORLEANS UNCENSORED (1955). Director: William Castle. 

New Orleans, the second busiest port after New York City, has become a hotbed of crime and violence. Dan Corbett (Arthur Franz) only wants to fix up an old rust bucket of a ship and start his own business, but for now he works on the docks. Dan gets involved with two women: Alma Mae (Helene Stanton), who is the sexy girlfriend of mob boss "Zero" Saxon (Michael Ansara); and Marie Reilly (Beverly Garland of Soldiers of Fortune), whose husband, Joe (William Henry of Uranium Boom) works for Saxon and later winds up dead. Dan agrees to help the authorities expose Saxon's corruption by going to work for him undercover, even though he knows he's putting himself in harm's way. 

Arthur Franz and Helene Stanton

Frankly, there's enough material in this picture to have made an exciting thriller, but New Orleans Uncensored just ambles along without ever once igniting. The performances are all credible, although the cops and other authorities are played by real-life policemen. The suspenseful climax the film has supposedly been building to never quite materializes. Other cast members include Mike Mazurki as Saxon's dumb enforcer, and Ed Nelson as a dock worker. This same year Helene Stanton played a blonde goddess in the Jungle Jim film Jungle Moon Men. 

Verdict: Surprisingly, a rather dull William Castle movie. **. 

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Marilyn Burns 

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974). Director: Tobe Hooper. 

"No need to torture the poor girl."

Sally (Marilyn Burns), her brother Franklin (Paul A. Partain), and some friends travel to their childhood home to see if any of their relatives' graves were disturbed by grave robbers. Investigating what seems like a perfectly nice house nearby, two of the young people are almost immediately set upon by "Leatherface" (not referred to as such in the film) an obese, squealing man in a mask of flesh (Gunnar Hansen). Setting out to find their missing chums, Sally and Franklin come across Leatherface wielding his chainsaw. The only survivor of the attack, Sally is taken captive by Leatherface and his family,  and tries to hold onto her sanity as well as her life. 

The edge of disaster

Texas Chainsaw has been excoriated by people who have never seen it, because they imagine it is a grisly bloodbath, but the effects of the chainsaw upon flesh are never actually shown (which is not true of the sequels and remakes). However, the film is intense, with a disturbing and horrifying atmosphere. The emotional torture of the heroine eventually becomes repellent and can even seem misogynous to some. The soundtrack consists more of jangling eerie noises than music. It's interesting that the house Leatherface and his family live in appears so attractive and well-kept-up, at least on the outside. When Franklin refers to his grandfather's house as the "Franklin place," are we to assume that his full name is Franklin Franklin, or  was this just a mistake? 

Marilyn Burns

Many years have gone by since Texas Chainsaw premiered and there have been loads of similar films since then. How does it hold up? Well ... Despite all the gruesome goings-on in the final quarter, the movie actually becomes a little tedious, the ending isn't nearly as exciting as remembered, and there are times it seems rather schlocky to boot, although the art direction of the house of horrors is swell. Considering everything Marilyn Burns has to go through, she gives a damned good performance in this, never going over the top, detailing her character's shock and hysteria with aplomb (the repeated close-ups of her bulging eyes are over-the-top, however). She also appeared in Hooper's lousy follow-up, Eaten Alive. Edwin Neal is certainly vivid as the crazy Hitchhiker who is also a part of the family. All and all, Texas has been over-rated over the years. Psycho may not shock as it once did, but it is still a masterpiece. Texas was never a masterpiece, and it certainly isn't now. 

Verdict: Zesty if half-baked horror film. **1/2. 

THE GORGON

Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing

THE GORGON (1964). Director: Terence Fisher. 

Near the turn of the century, a village is bedeviled by a series of bizarre murders where the victims are turned to stone. Dr. Namaroff (Peter Cushing) seems to know more about what is going on than he is willing to tell Professor Jules Heitz (Michael Goodliffe), whose son, Bruno (Jeremy Longhurst) was one of the victims. When the professor himself succumbs to the strange ailment, his other son Paul (Richard Pasco), comes to investigate. There he begins a romance with Namaroff's lovely associate, Carla (Barbara Shelley), which greatly complicates matters. But does she have anything to do with this weird legend about the spirit of one of the three gorgons of mythology inhabiting a human female ... ? 

Barbara Shelly and Richard Pasco

On one level, The Gorgon is somewhat ridiculous -- one has to assume there are good reasons why those in charge recognized these were actual petrified corpses and not just statues put in place of the victims --  but despite the viewer's foreknowledge the movie manages to be absorbing and suspenseful for the most part, almost with the bittersweet quality of a fairy tale. One thing that helps tremendously are the performances by the entire cast. As usual, Christopher Lee -- playing an associate of Paul's -- and Cushing perform very well together, and Pascoe, Shelley, Goodliffe and the others also play with absolute conviction. The film also has an eerie atmosphere and good art direction, and moves at a fairly good pace thanks to director Terence Fisher. The gorgon's brief appearances are always creepy although one might quibble about aspects of her make up. James Bernard's score is also a decided plus. 

Verdict: Medusa herself might have enjoyed this look at one of her sisters. ***. 

IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA

An absolutely humongous octopus

IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA (1955). Director: Robert Gordon. NOTE: This is a review of the colorized version. 

Cmdr. Pete Mathews (Ken Tobey) and the crew of his atomic submarine have a strange encounter with what turns out to be an unknown marine animal. Dr. John Carter (Donald Curtis) and Professor Lesley Joyce (Faith Domergue of Cult of the Cobra) are called in by the Navy to find out what they can about this beast. Said beast is a stupendously big octopus that has become radioactive from atomic testing, and risen from the Mindanao Deep in search of food. Its normal food supply has been cut off because the fish have built-in Geiger counters that warn them off. The trio institute a search for the monster, but after one scary encounter on the beach, it attacks San Francisco in all its glory. Can even their bombs put paid to the beast?

Octopus versus Golden Gate

It Came from Beneath the Sea has one great selling point, and that's the monster, which is brought vividly to life by the stop-motion artistry of Ray Harryhausen -- even the tentacles of the monster seem to have a sentience of their own, and the shots of those huge appendages hovering over the streets of San Francisco and sweeping away highly unfortunate humans are rather startling and horrifying, as are the shots of the creature trying to pull itself out of the bay. The monster also has an encounter with the Golden Gate Bridge, with the bridge being the loser, as well as a tramp steamer that loses nearly all hands. 

Beach confab: Tobey, Domergue, Curtis

A problem with the movie is that no one ever expresses any sheer awe at the mere existence of this gargantuan animal who can cause havoc and massive death on the shore without even leaving the water. The only fear our heroes display is during the aforementioned scary beach encounter in which a sheriff (Harry Lauter) comes to a bad end. Robert Gordon's direction of the non-monster sequences is flat and prosaic, with no real attempt to create suspense or tension. The romance worked up between Tobey and Domergue is never convincing, and is even comical at times, with the former's character being so aggressive in some instances that his actions border on harassment. 

Domergue, Tobey and Harry Lauter

On the other hand, the movie has a decided feminist slant, with Dr. Carter trying to make the commander understand "the new breed of woman" who doesn't need or like to be coddled or condescended to. The performances of the three leads are competent but they, including the sexy Domergue, can't make much of an impression next to that hungry, roaring octopus. Many of the supporting roles are filled by people who don't even appear to be actors, but may instead be sailors or officials doing double-duty. NOTE: To read more about this and other movies like it, see Creature Features: Nature Turned Nasty in the Movies. 

Verdict: A lively monster and some great Harryhausen effects keep this flick afloat. ***. 

US

Lupita Nyong'o

US (2019). Writer/director: Jordan Peele. NOTE: This review gives away important plot points of the movie.

When she's a child Adelaide (Lupita Nyong'o) is temporarily lost in a fun house and has an unnerving experience. Many years later she is married with children and returns to the same vacation spot that has the carnival and the fun house -- and strange things begin to happen. When they return to their home, her husband, Gabe (Winston Duke), looks out the door and sees four strangers standing stock still in their driveway. When he confronts them, he realizes that they look just like us ... 

Demon duplicates? 

Now what's going on here, you may wonder. Impoverished, angry duplicates of this nice middle-class black family are threatening Adelaide, her husband and two children. Do these strangers represent the black inner city underclass who are jealous of blacks who are upwardly mobile and have gotten their piece of the American Dream? The haves vs the have-nots?  But then the white family next door (who are depicted as vapid, stupid, and not nearly as nice as Adelaide's family) are also targeted by murderous duplicates. Then a whole host of  disenfranchised people living underground come up from below to terrorize the city, killing their own duplicates and others. The revenge of the poor and homeless? 

Boo!

Perhaps Jordan Peele should have just let the audience take the movie as an allegory of some sort and not tried to come up with an explanation, some nonsense about a scientific experiment that is abandoned, leaving the people  -- known as "The Tethered" -- in their underground habitats (which are surprisingly clean and sterile after all these years) to go insane. This only insures that the audience will have far more questions than answers as they walk out of the movie theater in a confused semi-stupor. In spite of this, far too many people have seen Us as being profound, when it's more along the lines of gobbledygook, and even Peele himself probably knows it. The movie is not nearly as original as some people claim. 

So what we're left with are some striking images and good performances, especially from Nyong'o. The movie temporarily becomes tense and interesting about the time the duplicates show up at the front door, but the tension is not sustained (anymore than it was in Peele's previous film, Get Out) and flippant remarks and dumb jokes from a family undergoing an incredible nightmare only make things worse. Ultimately Us winds up as tedious and pretentious twaddle that could have been a major film but instead is a major misfire. You can also see the twist ending from a mile away, but this only makes the plot even more ludicrous. 

Verdict: By no means "the greatest horror movie ever made." **.