PIRANHA (1995)

William Katt and Darleen Carr

PIRANHA (1995 telefilm). Director: Scott P. Levy.

A writer named Paul Grogan (William Katt) and a private eye named Maggie (Alexandra Paul) look for a wealthy developer's missing daughter. Fearing that the young lady and her boyfriend might have drowned in a pool at an abandoned complex, Maggie drains the water, and inadvertently unleashes a horde of voracious, razor-toothed, foot-long piranha who begin devouring everything in their path (but not each other -- huh?) Paul and Maggie try to stop the critters from reaching a camp where his daughter is staying, as well as a new resort that is scheduled to open that day. 

William Katt

Piranha is a scene-by-scene made-for-cable remake of the original 1978 movie, which was no great shakes to begin with. The most effective scenes in the original are also the most effective in the remake: for instance when the fish nibble away at the ropes holding the raft together as Paul and the others sail down the river. The film is a bit bloodier than the original, and attack sequences, especially on children, are still disturbing (but not nearly as atrocious and ugly as the massacre scene in yet another remake Piranha 3D). William Katt of Carrie fame gives a good performance, although he doesn't make as much of an impression as Brad Dillman in the original. Conversely, Alexandra Paul is more effective and less "cutesy" than Heather Menzies in the '78 version -- her acting definitely got better after Christine. In a sex switch, Darlene Carr is good as the disturbed scientist who has created the deadly breed of killer fish and sacrifices herself to save a child. Monte Markham plays the greedy developer whose daughter becomes fish food in the opening sequence. 

Verdict: Unnecessary remake. **. 

CHRISTINE

Keith Gordon in his Plymouth

CHRISTINE (1983). Director: John Carpenter. 

Dennis (John Stockwell) is best friends with the somewhat nerdy Arnie (Keith Gordon), who comes across an almost dilapidated old Plymouth and falls in love with her. Working on the car day and night, the car -- Christine, by name -- is not only transformed, but so is Arnie, becoming "cool" in his dress and manner like something out of the 1950's. Then the kids and others who taunted him become subjects of the wrath of Christine. But Christine, who can magically transform herself when she needs to, will not be easy to destroy. 

Robert Prosky

Based on a novel by Stephen King, Christine was not an improvement on an earlier and much better "killer car" movie entitled The Car. The Plymouth is beautiful, and some of the attack sequences are well-handled, although the alleged climax to the film is comparatively slow and dull. Stockwell and Gordon give good performances, although Alexandra Paul as Arnie's girlfriend isn't much of an actor; considering her 100 credits she must have gotten better. The movie is stolen by Robert Prosky, who makes the most of his scenes as Will Darnell, the grizzled, often dyspeptic owner of a body shop where Arnie works on the Plymouth. William Ostrander is notable as Arnie's main nemesis, Buddy. The film is at least twenty minutes too long and has no real tension or suspense. The director's mediocre score doesn't help at all. 

Verdict: Yet another schlocky John Carpenter movie. **1/4.