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Thursday, March 21, 2024

THE GIANT BEHEMOTH

The behemoth stomps through London
THE GIANT BEHEMOTH (1959). Director: Eugene Lourie. American version of Behemoth, the Sea Monster. Colorized

The coast of Cornwall is covered with loads of dead fish. A fisherman is found horribly burned to death on the shore. A huge animal emitting waves of radiation comes out of the sea to destroy a farm and its inhabitants. And then an ocean liner. Steve Karnes (Gene Evans) and Professor Bickford (Andre Morrell) team up to try to find this "behemoth" that may be responsible for the devastation. Bickford isn't so certain that this creature exists, but the paleontologist Dr. Sampson (Jack MacGowran) insists it is a "paliosaurus" that has somehow managed to survive until modern times. And then it emerges from the river Thames and stomps through London ... 

The behemoth dwarfs a bus
I have seen this fun, creepy and often intense movie dozens of times but I must say that the colorizing process made me feel like I was seeing it for the first time. It definitely adds a new dimension. As usual, I find it interesting how midway through the film the monster switches from being an unknown animal created by radiation to just another dinosaur that has become irradiated. One suspects this change happened because director/writer Eugene Lourie also helmed the superior Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (there is also a colorized version of that). 

Monster hunters: Evans and Morrell
The scenes of people being turned to cinders by the monster's radiation have even more of a grisly impact in color. Evans and Morrell play with sincerity, John Turner is effective as the Welsh fisherman John Duncan, and Henri Vidon as Tom Trevethan has a great death scene on the beach as he intones the word "behemoth." Leigh Madison is merely decorative as his daughter. Maurice Kaufman is realistically frightened as the mini-sub captain who sneaks up on the behemoth in the climax. Jack MacGowran plays his role in somewhat campy fashion. The effects in this low-budget movie are uneven but Willis O'Brien and Pete Peterson contributed some rather good stop-motion sequences. Edwin Astley's score is a plus as well. The original British version may have a slight edge on the American print. 

Verdict: What can I say? I dig this movie (others beware). ***. 

THE KILLER RESERVED NINE SEATS

Chris Avram
THE KILLER RESERVED NINE SEATS (aka L'assassino ha riservato nove poltrone/1974. Director: Giuseppe Bennati. 

Patrick Davenant (Chris Avram) recently broke off his engagement to Vivian (Rosanna Schiaffino) -- who then married Albert (Andrea Scotti of Mission Bloody Mary)  -- while Patrick took up with the younger Kim (Jane Agren). Patrick seems unaware that Kim is still fooling around with Russell (Howard Ross) and that she is more interested in Patrick's money than anything else. Inexplicably, Patrick invites these and other people -- including his sister Rebecca (Eva Czemerys), her lover Doris (Lucretia Love), Patrick's daughter, Lynn (Paola Senatore) and her boyfriend Duncan -- to a theater he owns, and which has not been in use for decades. Apparently mass murders took place there a hundred years ago on this very date. An uninvited guest is the mysterious Pat (Eduardo Filipone), who seems like some kind of guru. It isn't long before one of the party turns up stabbed to death ... 

Rosanna Schiaffino
One thing you have to say about The Killer is that it is absorbing and suspenseful, as you do get caught up in wondering which of the cast members is offing the others. In addition to this killer, there are also supernatural events to confuse the issue, with a creepy underground finale. The violence is not too horrific, although the killer has the habit of stripping female victims of their clothing and dignity before slaying them. There are some unanswered questions even after the revelations, and Patrick emerges as someone who will never win a prize as Father of the Year!  

Verdict: Somewhat arresting Italian giallo film is wildly imperfect but some fun. **1/2. 

BARE BONES 17

 bare bones 17 Winter 2024. 


Yes the new barebones 17 is now out and available on Amazon. This scholarly and fun publication, edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri, is chock full of fascinating articles. We've got pieces on THE FUGITIVE TV show; on the Mexican NOSTRADAMUS movies; ALFRED HITCHCOCK'S MYSTERY MAGAZINE; surveys of sleazy paperback thrillers; Randall D. Larson on fanzines; and much more including a piece on the forgotten post-Peter Gunn Craig Stevens series MAN OF THE WORLD by yours truly.


https://www.amazon.com/Bare.../dp/B0CW9VLMVT/ref=sr_1_1...

PARANOIA/A QUIET PLACE TO KILL

Carroll Baker and Jean Sorel
PARANOIA/A QUIET PLACE TO KILL (1970). Director: Umberto Lenzi. 

After an accident, Helen (Carroll Baker), a race car driver, is invited by (whom she thinks is) her ex-husband, Maurice (Jean Sorel), to his estate, where he now lives with his wealthy wife, Constance (Anna Proclemer). Helen discovers that Constance actually issued the invitation, and there are early hints -- later discarded -- that she has a yen for her. Maurice is an unapologetic gigolo who left Helen when her money ran out. Constance has good reason to hate Maurice -- one revelation is kept towards the end of the film -- and offers Helen $10,000 if she'll help her kill him. But as usual in these kind of movies, things don't go as expected. 

Proclemer with Sorel
Carroll Baker gives a very good performance in this, one of several thrillers she did for director Umberto Lenzi. Sorel, who may or may not be dubbed, is comparatively listless, however. Proclemer makes a better impression, as does Marina Coffa as Constance's nubile daughter, Susan. Another film inspired a bit by Diabolique -- wife and ex-wife as opposed to wife and mistress -- the lack of originality, despite some minor twists, keeps this from being memorable. The theme song, "You," is horrible and horribly sung! A nominal giallo film essentially devoid of grisly murders. 

Verdict: The picture pulls one along but there's no pay-off. **.  

BOMBAY WATERFRONT

Dainton, Bentley and Arthur Hill
BOMBAY WATERFRONT (aka Paul Temple Returns/1952.) Director: Maclean Rogers. 

Scotland Yard man turned mystery writer Paul Temple (John Bentley of Calling Paul Temple) and his wife, Steve (Patricia Dainton of The Third Alibi), get embroiled in the case of a mysterious figure known only as the Marquis, who has committed multiple murders for unknown reasons. Steve comes to suspect Inspector Ross (Ronald Leigh-Hunt) to the incredulity of his boss, while Paul is highly suspicious of the strange Sir Felix Raybourne (Christopher Lee of Alias John Preston) whose beautiful home is full of incense and other weird accoutrements. Others involved in the case include Storey (Grey Blake), whose fiancee was one of the victims, and Slater (Robert Urquhart), an actor who once appeared in one of Temple's plays and is now in the employ of the villain. 

Patricia Dainton with Christopher Lee
Bombay Waterfront is smooth and entertaining, with Bentley as good as usual as Temple -- his third and last time playing the character -- but Chris Lee, as expected, offers the most flavorful performance as Felix Raybourne. Grey Blake is also notable as the distraught Storey. Dan Jackson plays Sakki, the brother of the Temples' original Indian manservant. Arthur Hill has a very small role as a friend of the Temples. While the musical score is too often inappropriate, the picture does manage to build up suspense, and there are a few exciting scenes, although many will not be much surprised when the Marquis' identity is finally exposed.  

Verdict: Satisfying if unspectacular Paul Temple adventure. **3/4. 

Thursday, March 7, 2024

THE LOUISIANA HUSSY

Peter Coe and Nan Peterson

THE LOUISIANA HUSSY (1959). Director: Lee Sholem. A Bon-Air Production. 

In a stretch of the bayou called The Pit, brothers Jacques (Peter Coe) and Pierre (Robert Richards) love the same woman, Lili (Betty Lynn), but she prefers Pierre. On their wedding day a stranger who calls herself Minette (Nan Peterson of The Hideous Sun Demon) shows up in town, and is taken in by the newlyweds. Right away Minette is making passes at Pierre -- which he initially does little to reject -- and then moves in on -- and with -- Jacques. Pierre and Lili are convinced that Minette is bad news so they decide to investigate her past, bringing them to an estate and a drunk, grieving widower named Clay Lanier (Harry Lauter of It Came from Beneath the Sea). 

Betty Lynn, Robert Richards, Harry Lauter
An atmospheric melodrama, The Louisiana Hussy is reasonably absorbing and mildly titillating, although some of the love scenes are kind of intense for a fifties movie. Although Nan Peterson is rather  average-looking to play a femme fatale, with her push-up bra she manages to assert her sexuality in scene after scene. Betty Lynn is best known as Barney Fife's girlfriend on The Andy Griffith Show and she's bland but adequate in this. Richards had only a few credits, Peterson twice as many, and Coe amassed over eighty appearances. Also in the cast, as a doctor, is Tyler McVey of Attack of the Giant Leeches

Like many movies from this period and after, the film is hypocritical when it comes to the question of marital affairs. This is one of those films in which the trampy gal who goes after married men is seen as being much, much worse than the husbands who simply don't abstain, and get all moralistic about the mistress while ignoring and justifying their own behavior. Lee Sholem also directed Pharaoh's Curse.

Verdict: Sizzles but never quite boils. **1/4. 

THE STRANGE VICE OF MRS. WARDJ

George Hilton and Edwige Fenech

THE STRANGE VICE OF MRS. WARDJ (aka Lo strano vizio della Signora Wardh/1971). Director: Sergio Martino. 

In order to get away from her abusive lover, Jean (Ivan Rassimov), Julie  (Edwige Fenech) married her more pliable husband, Neil Wardh (Alberto de Mendoza), first secretary at the American embassy. Jean is still pursuing her when she meets the cousin, George (George Hilton), of her friend Carol (Conchita Airoldi), and with some initial reluctance begins an affair with him. Meanwhile a mad razor slasher is running around the city of Venice where they all live, brutally murdering young women. The latest victim, who went to a park to confront a man blackmailing Julie over her affair, is Carol. Unable to deal with it all, Julie runs off to Spain with George, where her final fate awaits her ... 

the underground garage sequence
The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardj is better-known in shortened versions under the titles Next! or Next Victim! or Blade of the Ripper. Although listed on imdb.com as being 81 minutes long, Strange Vice actually runs 97 minutes (and could have used a little trimming frankly). Still, it's an intriguing giallo film under any title. There is a terrific sequence in an underground parking garage where the killer pursues Julie, and another suspenseful sequence in the gardens of the Schonbrunn Palace. And, of course, the umpteenth shower murder sequence, although this is not done with much elan. Sergio Martino's direction is adequate but not exactly stylish. 

Ivan Rassimov
Edwige Fenech, who made a career starring in movies like this and stripping to her birthday suit at the drop of a hat, is adequate as the unsympathetic heroine, but she was never hired for her acting skills. Born in Uruguay, George Hilton has a certain presence and appeared in a large number of foreign productions, as did Ivan Rassimov, who was actually born in Italy. He was also in Planet of the Vampires. Sergio Martino also directed Torso

Verdict: A twisty and unpredictable script will keep you guessing. ***.  

THE LITTLE SISTER Raymond Chandler

THE LITTLE SISTER. Raymond Chandler. 1949.  

Private eye Philip Marlowe is hired by a young lady whose brother has gone missing. As he looks for this fellow, who seems a bit on the shady side, Marlowe keeps tripping over dead bodies. The trail leads to a glamorous movie star, Mavis Weld, who is afraid of scandal, and her friend and rival, a tempestuous Spanish beauty who makes more than one play for Marlowe. There's a lot of discussion about a photograph taken of Mavis in a nightclub in which she is sitting with a gangster who was supposed to be in jail at the time. And there are more corpses and murderers before the story is done.

Perhaps it's because so many years have gone by since the publication of Little Sister, but the book today almost reads like a parody. Of course there have been so many similar types of stories in the years between, and Chandler -- who is a good writer -- was one of the earlier practitioners of the 
genre, but much of the book borders on the idiotic, and the dialogue doesn't often ring true. The worst thing I can say about the book is that it is neither especially suspenseful nor even entertaining. Were this the first book of Chandler's I'd ever read, I would probably not have read another. There are some good sequences, however, such as when Detective French defends his police department. The story was filmed as Marlowe with James Garner playing the private eye.

Verdict: Chandler has written better books, but this one hasn't stood the test of time. **. 

THE DARK IS DEATH'S FRIEND

Devil's deal: George Hilton; Antoine Saint-John
THE DARK IS DEATH'S FRIEND (aka L'assassino e costretto ad uccidere ancora/1975). Director: Luigi Cozzi. 

Giorgio (George Hilton) has started to realize that it is getting more difficult to control his wealthy, suspicious wife, Norma (Terre Velazquez). One evening Giorgio happens upon a strange man (Antoine Saint-John) as the latter is disposing of the body of his latest blond victim. Giorgio offers the stranger a large of sum of money if he will make Norma the man's next victim. The stranger accepts the offer, but after he puts Norma's body in the trunk of his car, he discovers a young couple, Luca (Alessio Orano) and Laura (Cristina Galbo), have driven off in  his mercedes! 

Alessio Orano and Cristina Galbo
The Dark is Death's Friend begins so well, with an excellent initial premise, but then pretty much collapses into tedium. Most of the film is actually taken up with the uninteresting antics of Luca and Laura as they make their way in the stolen car to the seashore and break into an empty villa. The stranger follows them to this house. A blond that Luca picks up when he goes to get food is savagely stabbed to death by the stranger, a brief spurt of action. The picture simply has no urgency and very little suspense. One plus is that the dubbing is not only very well done, but the voices have been chosen with great appropriateness, aside from Laura, whose nattering becomes very annoying. Nando de Luca has written effective credit music, but the rest of the score is very uneven. French actor Antoine Saint-John has a very distinctive presence and gives the best performance. 

Verdict: Starts well, then becomes routine. **. 

HAMMER THE TOFF

Patricia Dainton and John Bentley
HAMMER THE TOFF (1952). Director: Maclean Rogers. 

Susan Lancaster (Patricia Dainton of The House in Marsh Road) is the niece of a professor (Ian Fleming, not the creator of James Bond), who has developed a secret formula for a certain process useful in defense. When he is murdered via a hypodermic needle in a briefcase, Richard Rollison (John Bentley of The Flaw), aka The Toff, takes it upon himself to protect Susan from a nefarious character called the Hammer. Up to now the Hammer has been seen as a kind of Robin Hood, helping the poor people of the East End of London, but now he and his gang are resorting to murder. Or is there another person calling himself the Hammer? With the help of Inspector Grice (Valentine Dyall), Sergeant Barrow (Ben Williams) and Rollison's major domo Jolly (Roddy Hughes), the Toff tries to find out the truth. Then Susan is kidnapped ... 

John Robinson with Bentley 
Hammer the Toff
 is the second of two films starring Bentley as the John Creasy creation the Toff -- the first was Salute the Toff -- and it is much better than the first, with a more complicated storyline and a lot of action. Bentley is perfection as the Toff. The entire cast plays this kind of light yet dramatic material with panache. John Robinson gives a smooth performance as a suspect and never quite gives away his guilt or innocence. Wally Patch is the crusty but likable bar owner who briefly turns against the Toff when he thinks he's betrayed an associate to the police. 

Verdict: Well turned out British suspense film. ***. 

Thursday, February 22, 2024

IT, THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE

"IT" on the rampage
IT, THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (1958). Director: Edward L. Cahn. Colorized

The first ship to explore Mars has only one survivor, Colonel Edward Carruthers (Marshall Thompson of Mystery Street), who is suspected of murdering the other crew members to conserve dwindling food supplies for himself. Carruthers insists that a hostile life form killed the others, and he's right -- this highly dangerous creature sneaks aboard the ship holding the members of the second expedition and kills them off one by one while Colonel Van Heusen (Kim Spalding), Ann Anderson (Shirley Patterson of The Land Unknown) and their colleagues try to figure out how to destroy the beast. 

Bice, Doran, Greer and Spalding
It, the Terror from Beyond Space
, written by Jerome Bixby, whatever its low-budget flaws, remains a highly entertaining and suspenseful space monster flick, well-directed by the prolific Cahn. Spalding and Paul Langton probably give the best performances, although the others -- including Ann Doran, Dabbs Greer, Robert Bice and others -- are also effective. It uses the same score as Kronos, which came out the previous year. The picture moves fast so that you might not wonder how on earth it's a good idea to use grenades on a space ship! As has been noted by me and others many times, this film was very influential on the big-budget Alien, which uses the same plot and some of the same plot elements -- blasting the creature out of the air lock at the end, for instance -- as well. Ray Corrigan [The Monster and the Ape] plays the monster and the ubiquitous Pierre Watkin is an official back on Earth.

Verdict: Memorable sci fi creature feature which works quite well in color. ***. 

OUT OF THE FOG (1962)

David Sumner
OUT OF THE FOG (aka Fog for a Killer/1962). Director: Montgomery Tully.  

Released from prison, George Mallon (David Sumner) takes up residence in a kind of halfway house for ex-cons. He gets a job driving for a furniture company, but can't get rid of the massive chip on his shoulder. Even his own mother (Olga Lindo) wants nothing to do with him. When blond women are strangled on what is known as "the flats" each full moon, George becomes the prime suspect. Sgt. June Lock (Susan Travers) is assigned to get a job at the furniture company and ingratiate herself with George. On the next full moon George decides to forget about going to the movies with June, and instead takes her for a walk in the flats ... 

David Sumner and Susan Travers
Out of the Fog
 is a minor but well-acted British suspense film that could have used another twenty or thirty minutes of character development as well as a few tense murder sequences. It comes off much more like a 1940's production than something made two years after Psycho. David Sumner with his sensitive features so at odds with the bitter unpleasant character he plays makes a decided impression in the film, and a wide variety of character actors also make their contribution. A ridiculous bit has to do with Det. Supt. Chadwick (John Arnatt) ordering some more men to the flats once he learns June has gone there with George, but considering it was a full moon -- the only time murders occur -- why the hell wouldn't he have had a lot more men there already? Montgomery Tully also directed The Third Alibi

Verdict: Very good lead performance with a so-so script. **1/2. 

SO SWEET ... SO PERVERSE

Jean-Louis Trintignant and Carroll Baker
SO SWEET ... SO PERVERSE (aka  Cosi dolce ,,, cosi perversa//1969). Director: Umberto Lenzi. 

Jean Reynard (Jean-Louis Trintignant) lives with his wife, Danielle (Erika Blanc), in a Paris apartment. Danielle has stopped sleeping with Jean, which necessitates his having affairs. Jean becomes intrigued with the woman, Nicole (Carroll Baker of The Fourth Victim), who has moved into the apartment upstairs, and learns that she is being dominated by a lover named Klaus (Horst Frank). It isn't long before one of these people is murdered, while the other three accuse the others of pretending this victim is still alive -- which may even be true ...

Jean-Louis Trintignant and Erika Blanc
So Sweet ... So Perverse
 is essentially a retread of Diabolique, with its own twists, including that one of the female characters has come to realize she is a lesbian. The actors use their real voices, but the over-dubbing makes their performances, especially Baker's, seem a little off. Erika Blanc decidedly gives the most impressive performance. An unintentionally hilarious moment occurs when the police insist on one character making an ID in the morgue, although the corpse has been described as "completely unrecognizable!" This is one of four movies that Carroll Baker did for director Umberto Lenzi: Knife of IceParanoia, which was originally called Orgasmo; and A Quiet Place to Kill, which was originally called Paranoia! Go figure!

Verdict: Minor but absorbing suspense film -- and nominal giallo -- with some new twists on an old idea. **1/2. 

MR. MONK'S LAST CASE: A MONK MOVIE

Tony Shalhoub and James Purefoy
MR. MONK'S LAST CASE: A MONK MOVIE (2023 telefilm). Director: Randy Zisk. 

Adrian Monk (Tony Shalhoub) comes out of retirement to investigate when his stepdaughter Molly's (Caitlin McGee) fiance, Griffin (Auston Scott), dies in a bungee jumping accident. Molly is convinced that Rick Eden (James Purefoy of Injustice), an Elon Musk-type who runs a vast Amazon-style corporation, is somehow behind the man's death and possibly others. In fact Griffin was sure that Eden had murdered his late business partner and was attempting to get some solid information when he died. 

Tony Shalhoub and Caitlin McGee
It's a delight to see Monk again, although some of the fun is vitiated by the fact that Adrian spends much of the movie contemplating suicide, and the recurring appearances by his late wife, Trudy, become tiresome (in fact the sentimental after-life sequences, meant to be poignant, come dangerously close to being sappy). At least Shalhoub is in good trim, and it's a pleasure to see Natalie (Traylor Howard), Stottlemeyer (Ted Levine) and Randy (Jason Gray-Stanford) again. James Purefoy makes a sexy and compelling adversary as well, liming the role of a narcissistic sociopath with chilling understatement. The solution to this is quite clever as well. As usual, some of the grimmer aspects of the story don't quite jell with the light-hearted approach. 

Verdict: Despite some annoying aspects, this is a very good bet for Monk fans. ***. 

THE DARK MAN

Maxwell Reed and Natasha Parry
THE DARK MAN (1951). Written and directed by Jeffrey Dell. 

An unidentified man (Maxwell Reed of Shadow of Fear) commits a murder, and then decides to kill off the cab driver who has driven him away from the murder scene. Unfortunately, a pretty young actress named Molly (Natasha Parry) sees the latter action and immediately goes to the top of Reed's hit list. Molly manages to get away this time, and is soon taken under the wing of the lustful Inspector Viner (Edward Underdown), who seems to spend more time thinking of her and kissing her than he does in doing a decent job of protecting her. No one bothers to even check out her flat when she goes home from the theater where she works, so naturally "the Dark Man" is waiting for her -- in the dark, of course. The climax takes place at a military testing range where there is some minimal excitement, but the movie is essentially mediocre. There is some moody photography by Eric Cross, and an interesting, dissonant score by Hubert Clifford. 

Verdict: **1/2. 


Thursday, February 8, 2024

ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES

Yvette Vickers and Michael Emmet
ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES (1959). Director: Bernard L. Kowalski. Executive producer: Roger Corman. Colorized

Portly Dave Walker (Bruno VeSota) has a hard time keeping his sexy wife, Liz (Yvette Vickers of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman), under control. She goes off with Dave's alleged friend, the much sexier Cal (Michael Emmet), and Dave discovers the two of them making love in the swamp. As Dave is threatening them with his shotgun and forcing them into the water, they are attacked by two giant leeches -- or leech men, if you prefer. Everyone suspects Dave of murder but then more people start disappearing. Game warden Steve Benton (Ken Clark of Mission Bloody Mary), along with his girlfriend, Nan (Jan Shepard), and her father, Doc Greyson (Tyler McVey of Teenage Thunder), investigate but come into conflict with each other when Doc wants to bomb the swamp ... 

Ken Clark and Jan Shepard
With its backwoods bayou atmosphere, a sleepy score by Alexander Laszlo (also used in Night of the Blood Beast), and some decent acting, Attack of the Giant Leeches may not be a world-beater but at least it holds the attention if you're a devotee of creature features. The color adds a degree of gruesomeness to the scenes in the underground lair of the leeches, and the sequence of dead bodies rising up in the lake has always been kind of creepy. Vickers is as vivid as ever, and VeSota and Emmet are effective and professional. Ken Clark, who showed much more charisma playing a superspy in some eurospy features, is stalwart as the game warden. Although she apparently never appeared in anything that allowed her to make much of an impression, Jan Shepard amassed over eighty credits and had a long career, as did Tyler McVey, who had over 220 credits! Kowalksi also directed Michael Emmet and McVey in Night of the Blood Beast, which is better than Leeches. Art director Daniel Haller went on to better things.  

Verdict: You know it isn't especially wonderful but there's just something about it ... **1/2. 

NAKED YOU DIE

Mark Damon and Eleonora Brown

NAKED YOU DIE (aka Nude ... si muore/1968), Director: Antonio Margheriti (Anthony Dawson). 

In the exclusive girls' school, St. Hilda College, students and faculty are either going missing or being murdered. Meanwhile student Lucille (Eleonora Brown) is having an affair with teacher Richard Barrett (Mark Damon), something of which headmistress Miss Transfield (Vivian Stapleton) would certainly disapprove. Other potential victims and assailants include the strange Mrs. Clay (Ludmila Lvova); physical education instructor Di Brazzi (Giovanni di Benedetto); the gardener (Luciano Pigozzi), who spies on the young ladies in the shower; mystery-loving Jill (Sally Smith), who proves to be quite courageous;  elderly Professor Andre (Aldo De Carellis); Betty Ann (Caterina Trentini); and others. 

The headmistress with her girls
More of a mystery film than a true giallo, Naked You Die features some fairly lame strangulation sequences and hasn't much style. Still, the picture builds up considerable suspense as you wonder who will get it next and who is behind it all and why. Alas, when the murderer is unmasked it is not too big a surprise (it's also sort of given away if you're paying attention). It's hard to judge the acting. The biggest name in the cast, Michael Rennie (of The Lost World), who plays a police inspector, is dubbed. Considering how bodies keep turning up, no one seems as frightened as they should be. 

Verdict: Okay Italian time-passer. **1/2.  

THE PAINTED SMILE

Liz Fraser and Tony Wickert
THE PAINTED SMILE (aka Murder Can Be Deadly/1962). Director: Lance Comfort.  

Jo Lake (Liz Fraser) and her boyfriend Mark (Peter Reynolds) entrap unsuspecting men, with Liz picking them up and Mark pretending to be her husband. One night Mark is murdered by a gangster named Kleinie (Kenneth Griffith). Jo brings Tom (Tony Wickert) home from the club where he and his pals are celebrating his having one final fling, where they come upon Mark's body. Jo tells a horrified Tom that if he doesn't help her get rid of the corpse, she will tell the police that he is the murderer. Tom's actions after that border on the moronic. The Painted Smile is a lesser melodrama from director Lance Comfort. The acting is more than adequate. Others in the cast include a pre-Blowup David Hemmings as one of Tom's pals and Nanette Newman as Tom's highly supportive fiancee, Mary. Singer Craig Douglas warbles a tune in a nightclub. 

Verdict: Very short alleged thriller that you can easily miss. **. 

ALL OF THE MARVELS

ALL OF THE MARVELS: A Journey to the Ends of the Biggest Story Ever Told. Douglas Wolk. Penguin; 2021. 

With it looking to some people like the characters of Marvel Comics are taking over the cinematic universe, author Wolk attempts to put everything in perspective and give fans or wannabee fans directions in what to read and in what order. He does this by highlighting specific issues grouped together somewhat thematically in various chapters. The idea is intriguing, but I'm not certain that it's been especially well executed. For this long-time comics fan the most interesting sections have to do with more recent issues that I have missed, as the book does concentrate more on the past twenty years than the earlier days of Marvel. There are some interesting observations in the book to be sure, but you'll also have to suffer through tedious write-ups on stuff like The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl. (Wolk wants to make certain the world knows that Marvel's comics aren't just about, created by, or exclusively popular with the "old white guys" who basically invented the industry and kept it going for many decades.)  All of the Marvels -- I love the title -- comes off less as a labor of love than as a cynical "sure-fire" book project, although I'm not certain what its intended audience was supposed to be. Won't most people interested in Marvel comics already be reading them? 

Verdict: Some good things in this, but it's not really a fun read, and it should have been. **1/4.   

SALUTE THE TOFF

Arthur Hill, John Bentley, Peter Gawthorne
SALUTE THE TOFF (1951). Director: Maclean Rogers. Colorized

Richard Rollinson, popularly known as the amateur sleuth the Toff (John Bentley), is importuned to look into the disappearance of a man named Jimmy Draycott (Tony Britton), whose secretary, Fay (Carol Marsh), is clearly in love with him. Draycott has a rival for her affections in reporter Ted Harrison (Arthur Hill). Inspector Grice (Valentine Dyall of The Horror of It All) just wishes the Toff would stay out of Scotland Yard's hair, but he manages to dig up information that Grice can't. Mixed up in the disappearance are several shady characters, including Mr. and Mrs. Lorne (Peter Bull and Shelagh Fraser), and the eldery Mortimer Harvey (Peter Gawthorne). The Toff's butler, Jolly (Roddy Hughes) is ever on hand to supply tea and crumpets, bits of information, and a good right hook when required. 

John Bentley as the Toff
The Toff was a creation of popular mystery writer John Creasey, who may have also written the script for this film. John Bentley was perfect casting, as he was in many of these British thrillers, sometimes playing good guys such as Rollinson or Paul Temple and sometimes not. It may seem odd to find Arthur Hill in this picture, but in his youth he went to England from Canada and had a good career on the British stage, as well as in films, before going to the U.S. where he appeared in many movies and starred as Owen Marshall, Counselor-at-Law on television. Salute the Toff is an okay UK crime picture which moves fairly fast but never quite erupts into anything especially memorable. Maclean Rogers also directed John Bentley in Calling Paul Temple.

Verdict: Undistinguished English thriller has a good cast and some good moments. **1/4. 

Thursday, January 25, 2024

TARANTULA

Tarantula on the rampage!
TARANTULA (1955). Director: Jack Arnold. Colorized

When lab assistant "Steve" Clayton (Mara Corday) comes to work with Professor Deemer (Leo. G. Carroll) in a small desert community, she has no idea what she's getting into, and neither does the local doctor, Matt Hastings (John Agar), who falls for her. They have no clue that Deemer has been injecting animals with a synthetic nutrient that contains a radioactive isotope, and that during a fire caused by another assistant, a tarantula has escaped into the desert. Before long skeletons of cattle and humans are being found alongside huge pools of what turns out to be spider venom! 

Get out of town! Look what's coming!
Tarantula
 is one of the best fifties giant bug movies, done with enthusiasm and skill, and boasting some good acting, a nerve-wracking score, good FX work, and very chilling sound effects. The movie is horrific but it doesn't need to show chewed up corpses or limbs flying through the air; it gets it points across without them. A stand-out sequence is when the two prospectors or campers sort of cling to each other as the mandibles of the arachnid descend upon them, and we mustn't forget the sight of the stupendous spider just waiting on the top of a hill before it moves downward towards some horses and the unfortunate rancher who owns them. Then there's the spider advancing on Professor Deemer's house and peeking in, mouth parts working, on "Steve" before it demolishes the entire house. And the spider moving across the valley floor as the terrified inhabitants can only helplessly watch its inexorable progress. 

Edwin Rand, Corday, Agar, Paiva
Agar, Carroll and Corday are stalwarts who play the roles straight and are all the better for it. Nestor Paiva of The Mole People is especially good as the town's sheriff, and Hank Patterson ("it's gettin' to be a fast world" he says as he observes how quickly Steve and Matt make each other's acquaintance) adds some welcome humor as the hotel clerk, Josh. Others in the cast include Ross Elliot [The Adventures of Superboy] as a reporter, Raymond Bailey (Mr. Drysdale of The Beverly Hillbillies) as a scientist named Townsend, and Clint Eastwood in a bit as a pilot. There have been many movies about giant spiders since the long-ago release of Tarantula, but most of them are campy and grisly stinkers  This remains the best monster arachnid movie. NOTE: This is not to be confused with Bert I. Gordon's Earth vs. the Spider, which is fun but not quite as good.

Verdict: Once that humongous spider starts moving, watch out! Even creepier in color!  ***. 

BARE BONES 16

 

bare bones 16,

The latest issue of bare bones is out and available on Amazon. Here are the contents:

"Victoria Timpanaro provides her perspective on the evolution of fandom
Exploring Outrage in The Dakotas with Larry Blamire
J. Charles Burwell digs into George P. Pelecanos’ DC Quartet
The Cinema of Alistair MacLean examined by Derek Hill
William Schoell (yours truly) studies Professor Quatermass in Films and on Television
Mike Shayne’s Mystery Magazine Part Two by Peter Enfantino
Duane Swierczynski’s Field Guide to L.A. Pulp tracks down Paul Cain
Another trip down Sleaze Alley with Peter Enfantino
David J. Schow gets the Word on the Street in his latest R&D column
A weird, wiggly peek inside John Scoleri’s Monster Gallery"
bare bones is edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri. It is a fun, scholarly publication, well worth the price.
https://www.amazon.com/Bare.../dp/B0CP2WVYCM/ref=sr_1_1...

THE MONSTER AND THE APE

The robot "monster"
THE MONSTER AND THE APE (15 chapter Columbia serial/1945. Director: Howard Bretherton. Colorized.

Professor Arnold (Ralph Morgan) has invented a robot which he calls the Metalogen Man after a material used in its construction. A colleague, Professor Ernst (George Macready of Steve Canyon), covets the robot for himself and uses his trained gorilla, Thor (Ray Corrigan), to get it, and thus begins a battle of wills and counter-strategies between opposing factions to get the robot back,  keep it out of Ernst's hands, and stay away from the paws of the mighty Thor and Ernst's nasty henchmen. Working on the side of justice along with Prof. Arnold are Ken Morgan (Robert Lowery of Sensation Hunters), Arnold's daughter, Babs (Carole Mathews of Assignment Redhead), and the lovably bumbling assistant Flash (Willie Best).  

George Macready consults with gunsels 
The Monster and the Ape
 is a fair-to-middling Columbia serial with a few interesting elements, such as the fact that the bad guys have an extra entrance to Ernst's HQ via a tunnel in the back of Thor's cage in the Municipal Zoo (yes, when he's not out killing people Thor stays in the zoo!). There are some more than decent cliffhangers, such as the bit with a conveyer belt that leads into an incinerator, and an even better sequence with walls closing in on our hero. Although he's as professional in this claptrap as he is in almost everything, Macready is an odd choice for this material, certainly not a career highpoint such as Paths of Glory. It's amusing that when Ernest disguises himself he doesn't disguise his voice -- surely even ten-year-olds would have wondered about that! Willie Best is forced to play the cowardly fool, as usual, but he is quite adept as Flash. 

Verdict: If you can't get enough apes and robots! **1/4. 

VIRAL

VIRAL. Robin Cook. Putnam; 2021. 

Brian Murphy and his wife Emma are trying to build clientele for their new security firm, but the Covid pandemic is getting in the way. During a vacation with their little daughter, Juliette, Emma is bitten by a mosquito and develops EEE (eastern equine encephalitis) and winds up in the hospital, then is sent home. While trying to care for his wife and daughter, who also has strange symptoms, Murphy has to deal with a staggering emergency room bill and the insurance company's denial of coverage. He comes to the conclusion that both the head of the hospital and the head of the insurance firm are greedy heartless bastards who live like kings while patients are sued, their homes taken, and some even driven to suicide. Murphy and a woman who lost her husband devise a scheme to get even and to make sure the horrendous greed of the American health care system becomes a top story in the news. 

Cook has written some good books and some bad ones, but Viral is just plain weird. The author is totally correct that our health care system is a mess, although it's bizarre that the book's protagonist would be surprised by any of this. Cook does reveal how hospitals jack up the prices to a ridiculous degree, and that not enough people bother to protest, and other things that may or may not be new to the reader. However, some developments are just contrived, and it's hard to believe that it would never occur to the hero to investigate Medicaid or bankruptcy protection. Instead his solution to the problem is criminal and immoral. 

The book details Murphy's problems with billing department clerks, hospital administrations, and insurance companies who collect premiums but do little for their customers. All of this is somewhat interesting, but little of it is thrilling. The book finally turns into a suspense novel of sorts in the final pages, but even these events seem a bit improbable -- everything goes without a single hitch. It's as if Cook just wanted to get the damn book over -- the ending is almost laughably flat. In order to make his point, Cook overstates things, stacks the deck, and compiles it all in undistinguished prose, with barely- dimensional characters, and very stilted dialogue.

Verdict: Read the fine print in your health insurance, but this is not an especially good read. However, without any hesitation I recommend Cook's Cell, a thrilling and suspenseful look at what goes wrong when smartphones are used as primary care doctors. **. 

SHIN GODZILLA

Godzilla

SHIN GODZILLA (2016). Directors: Hideaki Anno; Shinji Higuchi. 

"There is no danger of the creature coming ashore."

A sea monster that walks around on all fours and looks rather silly metamorphoses into the familiar creature we know as Godzilla in a film that pretty much ignores all of the earlier Godzilla movies, be they American or Japanese, as this one is. Eventually the big guy develops the ability to shoot lasers from its back, dorsal fins, and tail in addition to its fiery breath after it consumes radioactive material. In time the United States military is called in, but Japanese authorities aren't thrilled when they suggest dropping a nuclear bomb on Tokyo. Meanwhile everyone talks, deciding exactly what the creature is, what to do with it, and so on and so on ad nauseam, talk, talk and more talk with a few moments of the monster doing its thing.

In a word, Shin Godzilla talks itself to death, and while the FX work is superior to that of previous Japanese Godzilla films, the movie is still quite dull. The actors do the best they can. 

Verdict: Could be the most tedious Godzilla movie ever made. *1/2. 

Friday, January 12, 2024

Thursday, December 28, 2023

THE BLACK SCORPION

The voracious black scorpion
THE BLACK SCORPION (1957). Director: Edward Ludwig. Colorized

The eruption of a volcano in Mexico causes enough loss of life, but things are made much worse by the emergence of gigantic man-eating scorpions from suspended animation. Rancher Teresa Alvarez (Mara Corday of Naked Gun) and geologists named Hank (Richard Denning of Assignment Redhead) and Artur (Carlos Rivas of Machete) help Dr. Velazco (Carlos Muzquiz) and the military wipe out the monsters, but one gargantuan scorpion -- a black scorpion -- survives to wipe out any others and then advances on heavily populated Mexico City. 

The Black Scorpion downs a copter!
The Black Scorpion
 is one of the zestier -- and grimmer -- giant bug features that came out in the wake of Them! Stop-motion animation work by Willis O'Brien of King Kong fame and Pete  Peterson helps create some very lively, scuttling horrors to give the creeps to the audience, and the close-ups of the salivating monstrosities with their movable fangs are also unnerving, especially when accompanied by the rattling, scary sound FX. One scene in particular -- an attack on a train when the giant pincers of the scorpions pick out hapless, screeching passengers to devour and tear apart -- is a vision of hell. 

Mara Corday, Carlos Rivas, Richard Denning
The colorizing process makes the movie seem even more intense and horrifying, although it can't compensate for the fact that some of the sequences are underlit. Other highlights of the film include a tense business with a scorpion grabbing hold of a cable and nearly pulling a crane down into an abyss, and the exploration of said abyss with its scorpions, giant worms and so on, An unintentionally comical moment occurs when Dr. Velazco says that the monsters "are somewhat slow and lethargic," which scene after scene proves is definitely not the case! The Black Scorpion has a standard B movie cast and all are perfectly okay even if they offer nothing more than what is indicated in the script. Paul Sawtell offers an eerie and effective score.

Verdict: Absorbing monster movie with more than decent FX work. ***.