THE ANGRY RED PLANET

THE ANGRY RED PLANET (1959). Director: Ib Melchior. 

"Women don't have a monopoly on fear."

Dr. Iris Ryan (Nora Hayden) is one of two surviving members of an expedition to Mars, the other being Colonel O'Bannion (Gerald Mohr of Jungle Girl). O'Bannion is unconscious, his arm being digested by an inexplicable material engulfing it. Drugs are used to stimulate the traumatized Iris' memory, leading to flashbacks that show us what happened on the Red Planet Mars. The astronauts -- who also include Professor Gettell (Les Tremayne of The Monster of Piedras Blancas) and technician Sam Jacobs (Jack Kruschen of Reform School Girl) -- discover a strange airless world where nothing seems to move unless it is directed to. Iris is nearly snared by a gigantic, tentacled carnivorous plant; the whole group battles a humungous bad-rat-spider monster with legs that resemble tree trunks; and after spotting a distant city across a lake full of viscous liquid encounter an enormous amoeba that ingests one of them and starts eating away at O'Bannion's arm. The landscape is depicted in "cinemagic," which bathes everything in a reddish tint. 

Iris )Nora Hayden) sees a Martian

For some reason Amazon Prime Video has two versions of this movie. This is supposed to be the "original" version but scene for scene it is exactly like the other version Amazon offers -- there are no differences at all. Angry Red Planet is talky and slow at first, but once it gets going it is quite entertaining and the various monsters are a lot of fun. The story is actually pretty good but it needed a much better director. Former hoofer Mohr comes off, as usual, like an aging make-out man and his presumptuousness as regards to Iris -- whom he calls "Irish" -- is amazing. Reportedly Hayden thought Mohr was "quite arrogant and nasty." Hayden largely appeared on television, and attempted a comeback in her final 1969 film The Perils of P.K. where she played a stripper hoping to snare a name actor to appear with her in a film. Hayden did get the likes of Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Heatherton, Louise Lasser and others to appear with her, but one viewer described the film as making "Glen or Glenda seem like Citizen Kane."  

Verdict: The wonderful bat-rat-spider -- which once had its own model kit -- is alone worth the price of admission. ***.  

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE POISON PEN

Raymond Burr as Perry Mason

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE POISON PEN (1990 telefilm). Director: Christian I. Nyby II.

Bradley Thompson (David Warner) is a slightly obnoxious bestselling author whose most recent work is a non-fiction study of a murder case that Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) worked on, successfully defending the accused. Thompson named a different suspect in his book, which led to the man's suicide. When Thompson is poisoned at a literary conference, there are numerous suspects, one of whom is arrested: ex-wife Martha (Barbara Babcock); author Rita Sue Bliss (Cindy Williams); former protege Michael Garcia (Tony Lo Bianco); assistant Rebecca (Katherine Moffat); bartender Chris Fulmer (Don Reilly); and others. Most of these suspects have secrets, and most of Thompson's output may well have been written by others. 

William R. Moses as Ken Malansky

The Case of the Poisoned Pen is decidedly one of the better Perry Mason movies, with a strong hook, a good plot, and lots of motives. Burr is as excellent as usual as the defense lawyer, and there are especially good performances from Warner, Babcock, and Williams. Theater actor Don Reilly also makes a positive impression. The ever-likable William R. Moses plays private detective Ken Malansky, but he never seems quite as solid as Paul Drake, literally or figuratively -- Bill Hopper had those football-type shoulders after all! However, Moses is good and is still a busy actor today. 

Verdict: Quite entertaining and well-acted. ***. 
 

BARE BONES No. 9 Winter 2021 No. 10 Spring 2022

 

BARE BONES 9. Winter 2021.

BARE BONES 10. Spring 2022. 

Here are the latest two issues of that wonderful publication Bare Bones. Co-edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri, Bare Bones "unearths vintage, forgotten and overlooked horror, mystery, sci-fi, western" and just plain weird material.  

Issue 9 covers A. E. van Vogt's classic story Black Destroyer; the film Hickey and Boggs; my piece on Eurospy films of the sixties; Peter Enfantino's look at Sure -Fire Detective Stories; John Scoleri's review of Boxoffice for 1974; and lots more.

Issue 10 has Matthew R. Bradley's piece on Henry Farrell; a look at Nightmare Alley; Marvel Comics' Monsters Unleashed magazine; my piece on sixties TV show comic book tie-ins; John Scoleri's interview with Chris Matheson; Peter Enfantino's Sleaze Alley column; and David J. Schow's piece on King Kong, and more!

What are you waiting for? These are available on amazon in trade paperback format -- click on the links above. Packed with interesting features, these are both scholarly and fun! 

THE UNTOUCHABLES Season One

Robert Stack as Eliot Ness

THE UNTOUCHABLES Season One. 1959 ABC television series. 

I think I may have watched one episode or so of The Untouchables when I was a kid. It was adult material, not for children, and held little interest for me. Even today I find many of the episodes -- one in particular -- disturbing and depressing, although I think it is a good and classic show. Inspired by the memoirs of the late Eliot Ness, who went after prohibition-era gangsters like Al Capone but who ironically wound up a forgotten  alcoholic years later (until the posthumous memoir made him famous again), The Untouchables bounces around in time from the late 20's to the 30's when prohibition ended and bad guys moved in on everything from narcotics to milk!

Stack with Fernandez and Paris; J. Carroll Naish in foreground 

The amazing thing about The Untouchables is how hard-hitting it still is after sixty years, how brutal, with horrible things happening to the innocent as well as the guilty. No, it isn't gore-graphic as the stuff you now see on cable, but it is tough and uncompromising, much like the lead character, Eliot Ness, very well-played by Robert Stack. There is a squad of "untouchables" -- including Jerry Paris, Abel Fernandez, Nicolas Georgiade -- but they are petty much shunted aside in favor or Stack, given less screen time than the gangsters and assorted victims. Anthony George of Checkmate was nearly forty when he joined the series in the first season but was constantly referred to as "the kid" -- he was later killed off. 

White Slavers: Jeremy Brett, Kellin, Paul Langton

The Untouchables received criticism for its depiction of Italian-Americans and for its violence, although many argued that it would be wrong not to show exactly how vicious these gangsters could be. In "The White Slavers" several pretty young Mexican girls who think they are being transported to the U.S. for careers as models (but who are really destined for drug addiction and forced prostitution) are machine -gunned to death -- even up to the last minute you can't believe they won't be saved by Ness or his associates. The scene doesn't occur off-camera, and although you don't see bullets hitting the bodies etc., it is still pretty raw. Later a group of prostitutes begin to tear apart the man (Mike Kellin) who ordered the murders  and the miserable bastard shoots himself in the head. 

Martin Landau guest-stars with Paris and Stack

Other especially memorable first season episodes include: "Ma Barker and Her Boys," with Claire Trevor as the notorious supposed gang leader; "The Jake Lingle Killing" with a shady character (Jack Lord) wanting reward money but Ness isn't certain of his credibility; "Ain't We Got Fun" with Cameron Mitchell as a stand up comic that "Big Jim" (Ted De Corsia) takes a liking to; "The Underground Railway," starring Cliff Robertson in one of his best performances as a disfigured prison escapee who gets a girlfriend (Virginia Vincent) and plastic surgery; the two-part "Unhired Assassin" featuring plots on both the Chicago mayor and President-elect Roosevelt; and "The Frank Nitti Story," in which both Nitti (Bruce Gordon) and Untouchable Cam Allison (the aforementioned Anthony George) go to their final rewards. (Gordon would reappear as Nitti in flashback episodes.) Jerry Paris [Man on the Prowl] also left the series to go on to Michael Shayne where he had more to do. Nelson Riddle's intense theme music grows on you, and Walter Winchell's narration adds immediacy. The Untouchables began life as a two-part episode of Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse which was released to theaters as The Scarface Mob. 

Verdict: Pretty raw at times and quite well-acted by various guest-stars. ***1/4. 

PRIVATE CRIMES

PRIVATE CRIMES. An Arthur Crimes Mystery. William Schoell and Christian Grimm. 2022. 

My new "cozie" mystery novel, PRIVATE CRIMES.

From Amazon:

Arthur Crimes is a small-town publisher who discovers the dead body of an elderly millionaire near an isolated swimming hole. Having once worked with his uncle, a private investigator, Arthur decides to try and find the murderer with the help of his good friend, Eve, a true crime author who is, frankly, hoping to get another book deal. But as they weed through a surprising number of suspects, is someone else observing everything they do, waiting for the right moment to strike ...?

WILLIAM SCHOELL is the prolific author of many novels, biographies, books on the performing arts and pop culture. As CHRISTIAN GRIMM and ENRCIO ARRIVEDERCI he has written two light-hearted cozy mysteries: THE ABSOLUTELY APPALLING OPERA MURDERS and PRIVATE CRIMES.

End of shameless plug!

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

Tobey McGuire, Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021). Director: Jon Watts.  

After the events of Spider-Man: Far From Home, the world now knows that Spider-Man and Peter Parker (Tom Holland) are one and the same. Peter goes to see Dr. Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), who casts a spell that will make the world forget this inconvenient fact, but Peter fiddles around too much -- there are some people whom he wants to remember his dual identity, such as close buddy Ned (Jacob Batalon) and his girlfriend, MJ (Zendaya) -- with the result that things go awry. Now other people who know the dual identity secret are popping up from other universes (the "multi-verse") -- Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina from Spider-Man 2), Electro (Jamie Foxx), the Lizard, the Sandman, and Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe) -- and causing major problems. But Peter also gets help from other-dimensional Spider-Men ... 

Jamie Foxx as Electro

Actually the most interesting aspect of this production is that the two actors who played Spider-Man first (in big-screen movies, that is) -- Toby Maguire from the first three Spider-Man films and Andrew Garfield from the two subsequent Amazing Spider-Man films -- reprise their roles. It is also a plus for the film that Molina and Dafoe also reprise their roles, although Jamie Foxx is a rather disappointing new take on Electro. Although this was released by Columbia, it has the feel of a Disney film. There is way, way too much of Ned and MJ, who -- when you compare them to the original Ned Leeds and Mary Jane Watson -- are not terribly interesting characters. Of course this reboot of the franchise takes Peter Parker back to his high school days and reinvents everything, not always wisely. 

Alone: Tom Holland

There are some notable things about No Way Home -- some excellent FX work, good acting, a score that works on gullible emotions -- but the film is too long, there are dull stretches, there is only one fairly good sequence with Doc Ock attacking a bridge -- and not nearly enough suspense or excitement. Peter's actions are on occasion foolish. Apparently this writes finis to Holland's portrayal of the character as the contrived ending has everyone forgetting he ever existed (although apparently he will carry on as Spidey). It tries  hard to wrench out that pathos -- and the acting and the music help much in this regard -- but there's no real depth to it. 

Verdict: Although many Marvel-maniacs loved it, this is pretty much only for non-discriminating super-hero fans. **1/4. 

THE HOWLING

Watch out for those fangs!

THE HOWLING (1981). Director: Joe Dante.  

"You can't tame what's meant to be wild." 

Television reporter Karen White (Dee Wallace) has an unpleasant encounter with serial killer Eddie Quint (Robert Picardo) in a porn bookstore, but she doesn't remember exactly what happened. Eddie is killed in a hail of bullets but later his body disappears from the morgue. Shaken by her ordeal, Karen is advised by her psychiatrist, Dr. Waggner (Patrick Macnee), to go to his coastline retreat called the Colony. There Karen discovers that there might be worse things walking the earth than serial killers. 

Dee Wallace

The Howling was one of the first big "modern-day" werewolf thrillers and it was so popular at the time of its release that it engendered several, mostly terrible, sequels. Although it's still an entertaining movie, it's gone down in my estimation, primarily because director Joe Dante's staging of some sequences is clumsy to say the least. We're asked to believe that one character can be in an office without ever being aware that an eight foot tall werewolf is in the room with her, and we're also supposed to believe that Karen would simply stand there and watch as Eddie transforms into a wolfman in front of her when the exit is just behind her. True, one can be quite mesmerized by this transformation scene -- which is very well done in the FX sense -- but still ...! Also Dante, whose specialty is black comedies, can't seem to avoid turning the film at times into a blatant and silly parody.

Elisabeth Brooks and Patrick Macnee

As the heroine of the film, Dee Wallace [Love's Deadly Triangle] is acceptable, although I far more enjoyed the very likable Belinda Balaski [The Food of the Gods] as one of Karen's colleagues who comes to a bad end. Ditto for Patrick Macnee [King Solomon's Treasure] of The Avengers TV series who plays a somewhat sympathetic part. Wallace's husband Christopher Stone plays Karen's boyfriend, Bill, and Elisabeth Brooks is introduced as sensual Marsha, who has an affair with Bill. She's not much of an actress and had only a few credits. (Wallace had a ton of credits and is still acting today.) There are fun cameos by John Carradine, Kenneth Tobey, Slim Pickens (as a werewolf sheriff!), and Dick Miller. While admittedly they are rather busy at the time, neither Karen nor another colleague, Chris (Dennis Dugan), have much of a reaction when they learn of the deaths of their respective lovers. Robert Picardo and Don McLeod both make an impression as highly sinister werewolves. Old pro Kevin McCarthy plays Karen's boss. 

Verdict: Has some teeth to it but disappointing in some regards. **3/4. 

A DEADLY HABIT Simon Brett

A DEADLY HABIT. Simon Brett. Severn House; 2018. A Charles Paris Mystery. 

British author Simon Brett has written a whole slew of mystery novels, some of which were stand-alone books, and others belonged to different series. Most of these are light-hearted "cozies." I think the best of Brett's series is the Charles Paris novels. Paris is a likable fellow in many ways -- an alcoholic actor who has had modest success but is unemployed more often than not -- but some of his qualities are not so admirable. Although still married, he is separated from his wife, essentially neglects both her and their daughter, and seems much more interested in acting, drinking, and being an amateur sleuth than anything else. Brett has written over a dozen books in this series, and in this, the latest, Paris is trying to reconcile with his wife and move in with her but the stipulation is that he stop drinking, and he does make a serious effort. (One suspects he wants to be back with his wife because he feels he is a bit "past it" for his frequent marital indiscretions.) He has gotten a small role in a West End production of a weird play about monks -- the star is a famous movie actor that he worked with back in the day -- and naturally there is a murder. Paris not only gets no help from the police, he doesn't cooperate with them at all, and even holds back important information from them, making him rather irresponsible along with everything else. But the book is both amusing and suspenseful as he carries out his investigation (although one might wonder why he bothers) and eventually stumbles into a solution. One wants to root for Paris' sobriety, although frankly the character is more fun when he's drinking. But the ending of this hints that Paris' love for a "Large Bells" (whiskey) is not something so easily overcome. For my money the very best Charles Paris novel is Murder Unprompted, but this one is good. 

Verdict: Paris' swan song? ***. 

MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD

Family portrait

MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD (1960). Director: Bill Karn. 

Ma Barker (Lurene Tuttle) is a no-nonsense, vulgar, cop-hating termagant who wants the best for her boys -- and for herself. Against her weaker husband's wishes, she encourages her boys to go out and commit jobs at an early age. She has no patience with young Herman (Don Grady), who would prefer to play his fiddle like a "sissy." Herman is the first of the gang to come to a bad end. Before long, Ma is involved with the likes of Machine Gun Kelly, Pretty Boy Floyd, and John Dillinger. After robberies, murders and kidnappings, she holds off the Feds in an hours-long battle at her farmhouse, but crime does not pay ... 

Tuttle with Ron Foster

This low-budget film probably came about because of the success of the TV show The Untouchables, which in its first season had an episode on Ma Barker played by Claire Trevor. Tuttle is just as good and as tough as Trevor, but Killer Brood is not as good as that TV episode, although both vehicles are similarly brutal. Nowadays people claim that Ma Barker was at worst an accessory, that she knew her boys were criminals but took no part in their crimes and certainly didn't plan them. Whatever the case, she has entered folklore as "the most murderous mother of them all." (Shelley Winters also played the part in Bloody Mama.) Other cast members include Ron Foster as handsome son "Doc," and Byron Foulger as a crooked physician who comes afoul of nasty Ma. Tristram Coffin has a good if small role as Barker's second husband, and he is given a notable death scene. The film follows the basic facts along with much embellishing, and has an exciting enough climax. 

Verdict: Lurid, low-budget, and really not very good despite an effective turn by Tuttle. **. 

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM (1984). Director: Tony Lo Bianco. Produced by Mike Connors.

Lt. Alex Dinardo (Mike Connors), his partner Frank (Leon Isaac Kennedy), and undercover policewoman Kate Bridges (Anne Archer of Fatal Attraction) investigate a series of gruesome murders at the tony Royal Arms high rise apartment house in Manhattan. Their one and only suspect is doorman Vincent (Ian McShane), who is decidedly strange, was there at the time of all of the killings, and lives with his crippled mother (Maureen O'Sullivan in a silent role). But could someone else be responsible for these slayings?

Too Late to Scream isn't quite what you could call a slasher film, because the murders are as tasteful as anything on television, and despite the use of a knife and mentions of dismemberment in one of the killings, nothing distasteful is ever shown. With a scarcity of suspects the film only begins to work up real suspense in the final few minutes when the killer and the motive behind the murders are  finally revealed. Mike Connors, who also produced the film, offers an acceptable if listless performance, Archer is better, there are some good character actors in vignettes, and Ian McShane basically walks off with the movie. The main problem with the flick is that the screenplay betrays little real knowledge of police methods and everything just seems rather perfunctory. Working as director, Tony Lo Bianco offers a workmanlike, if uninspired, job, although some of the very brief murder sequences aren't badly handled. One could argue that the motive and solution to this is borderline homophobic.

Verdict: Interesting cast and situations, an exciting climax, but there's something missing here. **1/2.