ANTIBODY

Robin Givens and Lance Henriksen

ANTIBODY (Made-for-Cable/2002). Director: Christian McIntire.  

In Munich a terrorist named Moran (Julian Vergov) has placed a detonator to a massive bomb inside his own body. If he dies the bomb will detonate, demolishing the entire city and everyone in it. When Moran is shot, he is taken into custody and put under, while a team of scientists -- along with former FBI agent Gaynes (Lance Henriksen) -- are miniaturized, put into a sub called the Helix, and injected into Moran's body, where they only have a certain number of hours to find and destroy the detonator. The stakes are even larger when the team discover that Moran also placed bombs in several other cities, including Paris, where Gaynes' daughter is. 

Okay, it's obvious that Antibody -- an offering of what was then known as the Sci Fi Channel -- is a complete rip-off of the vastly superior Fantastic Voyage. Admittedly, Antibody has come up with a clever alternate scenario, and the film is especially suspenseful in the tense final minutes, but it's a major understatement that it doesn't get any points for originality. The prologue of the film depicts Gaynes dealing with a terrorist bomb in the Russian consulate in New York, a situation that doesn't work out so well, forcing the agent into private security management in Germany. The prologue is exciting and well-handled, as are the early scenes with Moran and his men invading a conference in Munich. 

Once inside Moran's body, the FX are nowhere nears as good nor as elaborate as in Fantastic Voyage. The danger comes from white blood cells, which look like something from a video game, and there are also some lively skin mites that are somehow in the blood stream and are creepy scuttling creations. To distract the white blood cells, the head of the team, Dr. Saverini (Robin Givens), orders cold viruses to be injected into Moran's body. 

a skin mite attacks the sub

As for the actors, both Henriksen and Givens give satisfactory performances, although they rarely seem to be displaying the extreme fear or tension they would be feeling in such a bizarre situation, at least not until the final moments. As an ice cool former agent, Henriksen plays it essentially in an unemotional fashion -- he was criticized for this -- but I at least think he hit the right note considering the level of the material. The supporting performances are mostly more than competent. It's interesting that the Helix apparently has no seat belts despite the fact that it is noted in the dialogue that a trip through the heart will be difficult (as it was in Fantastic Voyage). Also amusing is Henriksen's comment when Givens complains about the quality of the men she's been dating. "Brad Pitiful?" he says. 

Verdict: Watchful but highly derivative sci-fi with some interesting aspects. **1/2. 

HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE

Caitlin O'Heaney and Don Scardino

HE KNOWS YOU'RE ALONE (1980). Director: Armand Mastroianni.  

Amy Jensen (Caitlin O'Heaney) is about to get married to a man named Phil, but her ex-boyfriend, Marvin (Don Scardino of Cruising), keeps hanging around and insisting she should marry him. Amy is clearly torn between two men but she has worse problems: a maniac (Tom Rolfing) has been stalking and killing new brides and others and Amy is the next on his list. Meanwhile Detective Gamble (Lewis Arlt), whose fiancee was the first victim, does his best to catch up with the killer before he can murder anyone else. 

Tom Rolfing and O'Heaney

He Knows You're Alone has serious script problems, to put it mildly, and seems as if it were very hastily cobbled together. As there's no attempt to hide the identity of the killer, I can tell you that you never really learn anything about him or his motives (although it's hinted at in the dumb epilogue). Most of the characters, including the cop on a mission of vengeance, are one-dimensional as well. The lead actress, Caitlin O'Heaney, is terribly obvious, emoting as if she were acting on a stage instead of in front of a camera. One scene, when Amy discovers her roommate's severed head in the aquarium, is unintentionally comical because her attempt to have a numb, shocked reaction doesn't work at all. Don Scardino is better as Marvin, although his character is quite irritating. 

Lewis Arlt as the detective

There are a couple of interesting moments: the first murder occurs in a theater as the bride-to-be sits watching -- you guessed it -- a slasher film. (This idea was later used in Scream 2.) The stabbing-by-shears of a poor tailer who works on Amy's wedding dress has some energy to it, if nothing else. Tom Hanks shows up as a jogger who has a date with one of Amy's friends, and James Rebhorn is a married professor who is having an affair with another of Amy's gal pals -- why the maniac picks on these two is never explained. Don't expect a final twist because there isn't one. It would have been fun if Hanks had turned out to be the killer, but apparently his death scene was never filmed because he was deemed too likable! Armand Mastroianni also directed The Killing Hour.

Verdict: And a terrible hokey score doesn't help. **.  

ATLAS AGAINST THE CYCLOPS

Chelo Alonso and Gordon Mitchell

ATLAS AGAINST THE CYCLOPS (aka Atlas in the Land of the Cyclops/Maciste nella terra dei ciclopi/1961). Director: Antonio Leonviola.

The forces of evil queen Capys (Chelo Alonso) overrun the land of Sadok, killing the king and capturing Queen Penope (Vira Silenti). However, Penope manages to save her baby (Fabio) by sending the infant off with someone who is loyal to her. Capys is under a spell crafted by the sorceress Circe, and it will not dissipate until the last cyclops (Aldo Pedinotti) devours the last descendant of the hated Ulysses, who just happens to be that innocent baby. Strong man Maciste (Gordon Mitchell) saves this baby from a lion after his guardian is killed, and much later has to save the boy and his mother from the hulking cyclops. In between Maciste dallies with Capys, saves her life when a temple's ceiling threatens to fall on her, and gets involved in several sweaty battles ...

That cyclops is hungry!

Atlas Against the Cyclops is one of the better "peplum" movies that I've seen. While the cyclops is hardly the scariest one-eyed monster in the movies (and his appearances are fairly brief), he is at least twice of the size of the beefy Maciste and the process shots blend the two together well, especially in one shot when they are engaging in battle around a column. Another great scene has Maciste caught in a tug of war with a group of white slaves on one end of a rope, black slaves on the other end, and a pit of lions below them all. Maciste is a good guy who comes to the aid of anyone who needs it, including a guard nearly crushed beneath a wagon, or a black man who nearly falls into the aforementioned pit. Maciste also has a lively  battle with the black Mumba (Paul Wynter), who is not on the side of the angels, and at one point single-handedly rows a boat to the island of the cyclops after Mumba drugs all of the other oarsmen. 

Gordon Mitchell with future romance book cover boy Fabio

Gordon Mitchell had been one of Mae West's strongmen in Hollywood -- not the only one of them to wind up in Italian peplum movies -- and even when that period ended kept appearing in movies until he amassed about 150 credits! Chelo Alonso was a Cuban actress who also appeared in a number of Italian movies. Fabio, who plays the little infant king, grew up to become an actor and a cover boy for numerous paperback romance novels. Strikingly handsome Paul Wynter certainly makes an impression, but he only did four movies. Dante DiPaolo also makes an impression as Queen Capys' good right hand and adviser, Iphitos, who happens to be in love with her. 

Verdict: A surprisingly entertaining peplum extravaganza with lots of beef. ***. 

CONTAMINATION

Louise Marleau and Marino Mase

CONTAMINATION (aka Alien Contamination/1980). Director: Luigi Cozzi.  

Colonel Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) is called in when a derelict ship floats into New York Harbor containing corpses and a lot of weird little eggs. Helping with the investigation is Lt. Tony Aris (Marino Mase) of the NYPD, who at first isn't crazy about the lady government agent and scientist. They bring in a third member of the team, Mars astronaut Ian Hubbard (Ian McCulloch of Zombie), whose stories about finding the eggs on Mars were never believed. The eggs contain an element that can make people literally explode, with their internal organs bursting out of their bodies. The intrepid trio travel down to South America where they determine these Martian eggs are being distributed.  

Watch out for that egg!

Director Luigi Cozzi [The Dark is Death's Friend] originally conceived this as a sequel to Alien (!), and the deadly eggs are the element that most reminds one of that far superior movie. Despite all the splattery effects, which never come off as being too realistic, the film is slow-moving and in the middle section in particular becomes rather dull. Although they seem to be speaking English, the print I saw was dubbed, so it's difficult to judge the performances, which seem competent. 

              The Martian Cyclops -- watch out for that eye!

The most interesting element of the film is the Martian "cyclops," which appears at the end. Several feet tall, it is a squiggly wet thing with one enormous yellow eye like a flashlight (reminding one a bit of the cyclops in The Atomic Submarine), with more than one large, wide, uneven maw. The best scene has one of the characters being sucked head first into a tentacle from this creature, devouring him. The cyclops creates and incubates these eggs, although how they got to earth is never explained. The noises that the eggs make are really creepy and effective. The three leads -- Scottish McCulloch, Canadian Marleau, and Italian Mase -- all had a great many credits. 

Verdict: Some fun in this but the pace drags a little too much. **1/4. 

SAVAGE WEEKEND

SAVAGE WEEKEND (1979). Writer/director: Claude Pushkin (David Paulsen and John Mason Kirby). 

"You get lonely, you get weird." -- Mac. 

Marie (Marilyn Hamlin), who is separated from her husband, Greg (Jeff Pomerantz), goes to the country for the weekend with her boyfriend, Robert (Jim Doerr), sister Shirley (Caitlin O'Heaney of He Knows You're Alone), gay buddy Nicky (Christopher Allport), and Robert's friend, Jay (Devin Goldenberg). Marie wants to love and marry Robert, who owns a farm near a lake, but she is sexually drawn to his employee Mac (David Gale). Meanwhile Shirley is dallying with Jay, whom she later turns against. Then a killer wearing a fright mask starts snuffing the people in the party. Could it be weird Otis (William Sanderson), who also works for Robert and is rumored to have a violent history? Or someone else? 

Savage Weekend is a strange slasher film with an adult cast -- instead of teens -- that meanders along until the killings begin but never quite boils over into anything worthwhile despite some good sequences. Although the movie works overtime trying to develop its red herrings, the killer will not come as much surprise to most viewers. Busy actor Christopher Allport plays Nicky as a mincing queen most of the time, but in an amusing scene beats up a couple of fag-bashers in a bar: "I wasn't brought up in the South Bronx for nothing." Although still affected, O'Heaney is better in this than she was in He Knows You're Alone. William Sanderson has had a very long career, but he might be most famous for playing Larry on Newhart; he gives a typically flavorful performance in this. One gets the feeling Weekend is a half-hearted attempt, with a screenplay just thrown together, and slayings thrown into the mix because horror was profitable. David Paulsen also directed Schizoid. Savage Weekend was actually made some years before its official release, so it predates Halloween and other slasher films. 

Verdict: If this was an attempt at something different, it just doesn't work. **.