YOU MIGHT BE THE KILLER

YOU MIGHT BE THE KILLER (2018). Co-written and directed by Brett Simmons. 

Chuck (Alyson Hannigan), a clerk in a video store, gets a frantic call from her buddy, Sam (Fran Kranz), whose family owns a camp that is 25 miles from nowhere. According to Sam, someone has killed nearly all of the counselors in gruesome ways and is trying to burn him alive in his cabin. Chuck, a horror film fanatic, asks Sam if he ever considered that he could be the killer. Early on we learn that Sam is indeed the killer, but he's decimating the counselors because of a mask with demonic propensities. Chuck warns Sam that of the counselors who are still alive -- very few -- one of them is bound to be the pure "final girl" who puts paid to the maniac. Could it be the lady who dumped him, Imani (Brittany S. Hall), or sweet, virginal Jamie (Jenna Harvey)? It seems that Sam's fate might be sealed ... 

You Might Be the Killer, a very black comedy, benefits from some good acting from the cast, especially Kranz as the hero, and Hannigan as his blunt and unflappable buddy. There are some good sequences, and a couple of minor chills. Although some fans complained the film wasn't gory enough, we get severed arms, heads chopped in half, decapitations, and the

like, making this as gruesome as most slasher films if not quite as bad as some. The trouble with the film is that all the flashbacks make the film choppy -- no pun intended -- and eventually quite tiresome. Despite some energy and all the bloodletting, You Might Eventually Be the Killer runs out of gas early on and eventually becomes an effort to sit through. At one point Sam advises the counselors not to run off because they will get lost in the woods and there are snakes and so on, but surely they drove to the camp on a road and could take it back to civilization? But movies like this are hardly ever logical. 

Verdict: More or less professionally done, but slasher films -- be they black comedies or not -- should never be boring. **. 

OBSESSION (2025)

 OBSESSION (2025). Writer/director: Curry Barker.

Bear (Michael Johnston) is an attractive if nerdy young man who is infatuated with the pretty Nikki (Inde Navarrette). She seems to think of him only as a friend, but one day -- in desperation -- he uses a novelty item called the "One Wish Willow" to make her fall in love with him. Bear never expects it to work, so it's not as if he was using a date rape drug. Nevertheless, the results are not what he expected. Nikki does indeed fall in love with Bear but she begins to act very strangely and obsessively. It's definitely a case of "be careful what you wish for."

Obsession is an obvious play on the notion that a sick infatuation can lead to destruction of both yourself and the object of your affection. Proving that there's nothing new under the sun, the basic premise -- a man uses supernatural means to make someone fall in love with him to his regret --was used in numerous horror comic book stories, and there isn't that much that's terribly original in this picture. The movie is slow, the direction generally uninspired, although the acting by the two leads and others is on the money. 

Although the film is comparatively tasteful for a modern-day horror flick -- of course the film is so underlit you really can't see that much of the more gruesome stuff -- it doesn't resist one moment of slasher-type carnage late in the picture. Bear takes much, much too long to suggest -- if he ever really does -- that Nikki may need psychiatric help, but as the characters in this are pretty one-dimensional it probably doesn't matter. The picture takes a long time to really get going, and the build-up isn't worth it. 

Verdict: A low-energy, over-long, and vastly over-rated horror film with excellent performances. **1/4.  

SCREAM 7

Ghostface on the loose!

SCREAM 7 (2026). Co-written and directed by Kevin Williamson. 

Sidney (Neve Campbell) has relocated to the new town of Pine Grove with her sheriff husband Mark (Joel McHale) and teenage daughter, Tatum (Isabel May). Then Sidney begins to get video calls from Stu Macher (Matthew Lillard), one of the killers in the original Scream. But hasn't Stu been dead for years? When the killings start again with a new Ghostface on the loose, Sidney and old pal Gail Weathers (Courteney Cox) team up to investigate if Stu is somehow still alive or if someone else is hiding behind AI-generated deep fakes. 

Victims: Tatum (right) and her pals

Scream 7 is a fast-paced, often thrilling, and quite suspenseful slasher flick with generally good performances. The best sequences are the prologue with a young couple running into trouble in a house that commemorates the murders back in Hillsboro, and a sequence in which a poor victim in a bar is sort of turned into a beer spigot. Usually the Scream movies are comparatively restrained and tasteful, but a gross and sadistic sequence in a theater features a graphic disembowelment that might be more at home in one of those Terrifier movies. The motive for the gruesome murders, as many others have noted, is so lame as to be laughable, but fortunately it doesn't ruin the movie. Although the Scream flicks were originally black comedies with as many jokes as screams, this installment -- aside from the dumb finale -- is basically played more or less straight. As usual the film glosses over the utter misery faced by the loved ones of the victims left in the wake of the maniac. Campbell and Cox also appeared in 2022's Scream. Mason Gooding, one of Gail Weathers' team, was also in the slasher flick Heart Eyes. 

Verdict: Still fun despite its flaws. ***. 

DEMENTIA 13

DEMENTIA 13 (1963). Director: Francis [Ford] Coppola.

When Louise Haloran's (Luana Anders) husband John has a fatal heart attack, she decides to cover up his death and pretend he's gone on a trip so she can still inherit from his mother. (Apparently it doesn't occur to her that a widow might still come into a share of the estate.) But this is only one of the secrets at the spooky and stately Castle Haloran in Ireland, where a barely seen figure with an axe roams about hacking and beheading his victims, and each year the family reenacts the funeral of the young daughter, Kathleen, who drowned seven years before. (None of the characters seem to realize the terrible impact the child's death would have had on Kathleen's mother, who is a bit "off.") 

ax attack on Louise

This early film from the director of The Godfather trilogy is modeled on Psycho in that we at first follow a blond character who is then brutally dispatched a la Janet Leigh nearly forty minutes into the film. Anders is very vital as Louise, as are Bart Patton as her brother-in-law, Billy; Ethne Dunn as Lady Haloran; and Patrick Magee as the family's creepy and tactless physician. William Campbell is Billy's brother, Richard, and Mary Mitchel is his oddly-named girlfriend, Kane. The film is atmospheric, has an effective score by Ronald Stein, and boasts a very well-handled and suspenseful sequence in which Simon, a poacher (Karl Schanzer), is stalked and decapitated. Bart Patton did mostly television work; Luana Anders, who also appeared in The Pit and the Pendulum with Vincent Price, was a busy actress up until her death in 1996.

Verdict: Odd, confusing at times, but strangely compelling and vivid! ***.

NIGHTMARES (1980)

Jenny Neumann and Gary Sweet

NIGHTMARES (aka Stage Fright/1980). Director: John D. Lamond. 

Helen Selleck (Jenny Neumann) has wrongly felt responsible for her mother's death in a car crash years ago when she was a child. She gets a part in a stage production of an avant garde comedy and it isn't long before people connected to the production are being sliced and diced by an unseen assailant wielding broken pieces of glass. Potential victims and suspects include soap opera actor and new boyfriend Terry (Gary Sweet), the bitchy director George (Max Phipps), the even bitchier critic Bennett Collingswood (John-Michael Howson), stage manager Angela (Briony Behets), ever-horny Bruce (Edmund Pegge), actress Judy (Nina Landis of Four of a Kind), and others. As opening night arrives, the body count grows ever higher ... 

Who's the bitchier? Max Phipps and John-Michael Howson

Nightmares is an oddball Australian slasher film that has some decent acting, lots of nudity and boobs, several bloody (if not too graphic) murder sequences, and a strange plot. Throughout the film there is a steady attempt to conceal the identity of the killer even while making it pretty clear who it is in all other ways. Therefore the suspense is minimized and there is absolutely no final twist. Brian May's music score tries very hard to drum up excitement in key moments, but ultimately the picture is somewhat slapdash and generally uninventive, although there are attempts to make it more cinematic. The critic Collingswood is called an "old queen" more than once, grabs Helen's breast at one point, and later on comes on to Bruce, who seems to briefly contemplate putting out for a good review. 

Verdict: Mediocre Aussie horror film with some zesty moments. **1/4. 

TERROR TRAIN (2022)

Matias Lucas and Robyn Alomar

TERROR TRAIN (2022). Director: Philippe Gagnon.

In this Tubi Original remake of the 1980 slasher film, some medical students maneuver a nerdy guy into bed with a corpse and he winds up in a mental institution. While this doesn't seem especially believable, the film then jumps forward three years to a Halloween party on a train. At first people believe the corpses the party-goers stumble over are fake, but finally Alanna (Robyn  Alomar) realizes that her friends are being slaughtered one by one. Does this have something to do with that practical joke from years before, or is something else behind the body count? Alana eventually finds herself in a desperate struggle against the true killer. 

Robyn Alomar and Tim Rozon as the Magician

I freely admit I enjoyed Terror Train, finding it well-acted, suspenseful, and fast-paced, with several exciting scenes. While there are some gruesome sequences, the movie is never vomitous, which is probably why some gore geeks didn't care for it, but the film works perfectly well without the grisly upchuck stuff. The young cast is enthusiastic, and I was particularly impressed with Matias Lucas as the somewhat nasty or misunderstood "Doc," who is charismatic and effective in his portrayal, although everyone is pretty decent. Robyn Alomar acquits herself nicely as the "final girl," so to speak, although she isn't the only survivor. I also liked Mary Walsh as the head conductor, Carne, and Nadine Bhabha as her younger assistant, Sadie. Followed by a sequel shot back to back. 

Verdict: Fun contemporary slasher flick. ***. 

DEADLY MANOR

That great old house!

DEADLY MANOR (1990). Written and directed by Jose Ramon Larraz. 

A bunch of young people are trying to find a lake when a hitchhiker named Jack (Clark Tufts) tells them it's actually two hours away. Looking for a place to relax before continuing, Rod (Mark Irish) drives down a rutted lane until they come across what appears to be an abandoned old mansion. Outside the house is a wrecked and burned car that seems set up as if it were some kind of a shrine. Helen (Claudia Franjul) is convinced someone lives in the house and runs off in anger, while Jack kicks in the back door. Inside they find coffins in the basement, tons of dust and debris, huge cracks in the walls, and numerous photographs of an attractive young woman. Then the killings begin ... 

cast members of Deadly Manor

Deadly Manor may not be a masterpiece but it isn't as terrible as some would suggest. The young cast members are attractive if a touch amateurish at times, but there is some good work from Jennifer Delora as Amanda and the uncredited actor who plays Alfred. Greg Rhodes is the handsome dude playing Tony -- he figures in a sexy erotic dream sequence -- and Jerry Kernion makes an impression as the rotund, likable Peter. The characters are all likable, which makes the film easier to take as it slowly builds up suspense and a modicum of chills. The location of the old house -- which was torn down when filming was over -- is a major asset to the production, but one wishes the direction had been more inventive and skillful. An inexplicable scene has Tony finding pictures in an album of what appear to be a number of corpses, but he has no reaction to this despite the fact that most people would think they'd broken into the home of a serial killer. Kathleen Patane handles her "final girl" scenes with aplomb. Gore geeks won't want to bother with this film as it isn't terribly graphic. The screenplay for this is not at all bad. Larraz also directed Edge of the Axe.

Verdict: Despite flaws, this is an unusual and fairly worthwhile entry in the slasher sweepstakes. **1/2.  

FINAL SUMMER

The killer on the loose!

FINAL SUMMER (2023). Written, directed and produced by John Isberg. 

A young boy is somehow accidentally killed on the last day of summer camp, and counselor Lexi (Jenna Kohn), whose younger brother was run over years ago, feels responsible (as well she should). Not much later a man wearing a skull mask and carrying an ax, begins murdering the other counselors at Camp Silver Lake. Could it be the strange Warren Copper (Robert Gerard Anderson), the camp handyman, whose grandson was killed? A variety of young men and women try to survive while the maniac stalks them and the suspense mounts ... 

Jenna Kohn as Lexi

As Friday the 13th clones go, Final Summer is by no means terrible. The acting is generally good, there are some genuinely tense sequences, and the flick boasts some excellent, moody cinematography (also by director John Isberg). Isberg's screenplay, however, lets the movie -- and movie-goer -- down, as he tries to be too clever, perhaps in hopes of coming out with a sequel. There are too many illogical and confusing moments and anti-climaxes, and I don't know what the hell the killer's motivation was when the ultimate architect behind the murders is revealed (a homage to the original Friday). It is also never explained why the likable Peter (well-played by Wyatt Taber) is captured instead of killed, aside from the fact that the audience may be rooting for him. The ending is way too dragged out. One assumes nobody uses a cell phone because the film takes place in 1991, before their widespread use. While there is plenty of violence, gore geeks will be disappointed that the movie is never bloody disgusting. Thom Mathews, who briefly plays Sheriff Parmer, was Tommy Jarvis in Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. 

Verdict: Slasher flick just misses. **1/2. 

DEAR DEAD DELILAH

Agnes Moorehead as Delilah

DEAR DEAD DELILAH (1972). Written and directed by John Farris. 

Delilah Charles (Agnes Moorehead) lives in a southern mansion called South Hall with her niece, and nurse, Ellen (Elizabeth Eis) and Ellen's husband, Richard (Robert Gentry), and servants. Richard accidentally bumps into a woman named Leddy (Patricia Carmichael) in a park, knocks her down, and invites her to stay at South Hall, where she is hired as a companion for Delilah. At dinner Delilah tells her brothers Morgan (Michael Ansara) and Alonzo (Dennis Patrick), and younger sister, Grace (Anne Meacham), that she has only a short time to live and is leaving the estate to the state for preservation. However, she insists their late father hid $600,000 in the house or on the grounds and all they have to do is find it. As someone begins taking an ax to various family members and others, Leddy -- who went to an institution after chopping up her hateful mother -- is afraid she is falling back on old ways. But there may be more to this than meets the eye ... 

Robert Gentry as Richard

Moorehead is delightful in her last theatrical film, and she is one of the chief reasons to watch the movie, which is modestly entertaining in any case. Better known as a horror novelist, John Farris proves a better screenwriter than director, although the picture has a pretty good pace. The dysfunctional characters are interesting but the actors really bring them to life. One problem is that when you think about who else could be responsible for the deaths, only one person really springs to mind, minimizing the suspense. Some of the murders are gruesome, especially a wheelchair decapitation with the murderer on horseback -- which is certainly dramatic but not terribly sensible -- but nothing as graphic as today. Meacham was one of Tennessee Williams' favorite actresses, and she appeared in several of his plays. Robert Gentry became a popular soap opera actor, especially on Generations and Another World. Will Geer plays the lawyer Roy. 

Verdict: This low-budget ax fest needs a slicker production and zestier direction but it has its moments. **1/2. 

YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM AND ONLY I HAVE THE KEY

Luigi Pistilli and Anita Strindberg

YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM AND ONLY I HAVE THE KEY (aka Il tuo vizio e una stanza chiusa e solo io ne ho la chiave/1972). Director: Sergio Martino. 

Dissipated author Oliverio Rouvigny (Luigi Pistilli of The Case of the Scorpion's Tail), who has writer's block and is supposedly impotent, spends his time in his crumbling mansion being cruel to his wife, Irina (Anita Strindberg) and maid, Brenda (Angela La Vorgna). Oliverio instantly becomes a suspect when one of his mistresses, Fausta (Daniela Giordano of The Night of the Scorpion), is found slashed to death. More murders follow as the killer is seemingly unmasked. If this family weren't dysfunctional and toxic enough, along comes the Rouvigny's niece, Floriana (Edwige Fenech), a free spirit who sleeps with both aunt and uncle, and picks up an attractive boyfriend along the way. As a nasty cat named Satan runs around attacking Irina's doves and Irina herself, Floriana suggests a way she can rid herself of Oliverio ... 

Fenech and Strindberg

Your Vice is a wild giallo -- often ridiculous and illogical but always amusing -- that combines a mad slasher or two with marital discord, sadomasochism (of an emotional kind), and even a dollop of Edgar Allan Poe what with that black cat and its activities. Pistilli offers a virile portrait of an obnoxious monster, while Strindberg gives one of her best performances as his put-upon, dissatisfied wife. Fenech, despite her obvious assets, looks almost plain and boyish in this, especially compared to the gorgeous Strindberg. (Fenech only bares her breasts with male lovers, but is more modest when she gets it on with Strindberg. The lesbian aspects are clearly meant for titillation and not any insight into homosexual relationships. Director Martino probably couldn't resist putting two sex symbols of giallo films into bed together.)  Ivan Rassimov of The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardj -- also directed by Martino and starring Fenech -- has a small but pivotal role. 

Verdict: One strange household -- and lots of twists. ***. 

BLOODY MURDER 2: CLOSING CAMP

BLOODY MURDER 2: CLOSING CAMP (2003/Direct-to-Video). Director: Rob Spera.

Five years after the events of Bloody Murder, a new crop of kids have been sent home and the counselors have a couple of days to clean and close up Camp Placid Pines. Tracy (Katy Woodruff) is hoping to discover what happened to her brother Jason, who disappeared after the last killing spree. There's still talk of the maniac Trevor Moorehouse, and still the same doubts about his existence. But someone is again slaughtering the counselors one by one, and Tracy focuses on an unexpected suspect, her boyfriend Mike (Kelly Gunning), who is caught on tape in an incriminating video. But is it really Mike who's behind the gruesome deaths, or could it be Tracy's boss, Rick (Arthur Benjamin) or somebody else? 

Bloody Murder 2 is an improvement over the first installment, as it has better lensing, a much better musical score, and a more interesting cast. Katy Woodruff is at times a bit weak in the lead, but the other performances are generally solid and professional. Bloody Murder 2 is also gorier than the first film, especially the disturbing first murder in which the most likable character, James (Lane Anderson), has his legs severed by a machete (the other "kills" are not as graphic). The movie has some suspense as well, although there is little originality to the story. Tiffany Shepis as Angela and John Colton as the sheriff are especially notable cast members. These two actors had a very many credits aside from BM2. Benjamin and Anderson had only one or two credits in total although both were appealing and adept actors. 

Verdict: A minor-league but creditable slasher flick. **1/2. 

SCHIZOID

SCHIZOID (1980). Written and directed by David Paulsen. 

Julie (Marianna Hill) writes a Lonely Hearts column for a newspaper, and begins receiving strange, threatening letters employing cut-out letters from magazines. At the same time, other members of her therapy group are being sliced and diced by a scissors-wielding maniac. The suspects are numerous: Julie's husband (Craig Wasson of Body Double) is not happy with the fact that she is divorcing him; Julie's shrink (Klaus Kinski) is an unethical creep who is having sex with at least two of his patients, including Julie; the shrink's daughter, Alison (Donna Wilkes), is a neurotic who hates anyone who takes away her father's attention; and lonely Gilbert (Christopher Lloyd) is not only in the therapy group but also is the maintenance man at the newspaper. Shizoid does manage to work up some suspense as to the identity of the killer, and moves at a good pace. The kill scenes are moderately gruesome and not that inspired. Kinski gives a good performance and is given two sex scenes, which may or may not have been excruciating for the leading ladies. Donna Wilkes is effective as Alison, who enjoys dressing up as if she were in a piece of film noir. Joe Regalbuto, who later wound up on Murphy Brown, plays a cop. Christopher Lloyd is perfectly okay as Gilbert, but you wouldn't have imagined that he'd be in for major success with Taxi and the Back to the Future movies. 

Verdict: Okay slasher flick. **1/2. 

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2021 TV SERIES)

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2021 Amazon Prime Original TV series). Created for television by Sara Goodman. 

After a high school graduation party attended by twins Lennon and Alison (Madison Iseman), one of these two is run over on the highway and the others in the car -- even though this was clearly an accident and the driver wasn't drunk -- decide to cover it up, putting the body in a cave where it will be washed out to sea. A year later Alison -- pretending to be Lennon -- sees the words I Know What You Did Last Summer scrawled across her mirror and freaks out, contacting her friends. Over eight mostly tedious episodes these friends are gruesomely murdered until the big reveal at the end. 

Well ... what can you say about this series? It would be all too easy to dismiss it as simply godawful but it does have some interesting elements to it, such as brain-eating spiders and a cult that hangs out in a cave, and some genuine suspense towards the end. Some of the murder scenes are at least somewhat inventive. It has very, very little relation to the novel by Lois Duncan and even to the film version of that book. But the biggest problem with the series is that the characters are virtually all obnoxious and unlikable and it's hard to sit through long scenes (hit that fast-forward button!) showing these dipshits partying and acting like a-holes. They come off more like slasher movie teens than real teenagers in any case. It makes absolutely no sense that these characters wouldn't go to the police after the first incredibly sick double-murder no matter what trouble they may or may not find themselves in due to the alleged "cover-up." . 

Madison Iseman sees something awful: the rushes or the script?

The series, which takes place in Hawaii, has a number of multi-cultural and LGBT characters, but their sexuality seems dragged in to satisfy the twists of the plot and to show some presumably hot girl-on-girl action -- somehow it just doesn't seem real. In general the scripting for the series is absolutely abysmal, with cringe-worthy dialogue, and the acting for much of the cast isn't much better. Madison Iseman is pretty awful as the twins, and some of the other "teens" are directed to act in a "cutesy" fashion that is incredibly off-putting. And as for that ending!

SPOILER ALERT

I must say that the identity of the psychotic killer came as a complete surprise to me, although on reflection it makes little sense and she has no real motive to commit such fiendish acts upon her supposed friends. What's worse, after the heroine is stabbed by the killer, she tells the police that the villain is a perfectly innocent male friend while she goes off hand in hand with the murderer! Is this progressive or shockingly regressive? (The first victims are a gay male couple.) One has to wonder who's worse: a killer lesbian or a bisexual (if that's what she is) woman who lets this very sick lady get away with murder, including the beheading of the only one in the cast who gives a damn about her. 

If you want to watch a decent slasher TV series I will recommend all seasons of Scream and the first season of Slasher. 

Verdict: Spare yourself nearly eight hours of watching this grisly tripe. **.