THE SQUEAKER

Gunter Pfitzmann and Heinz Drache

THE SQUEAKER (aka Der Zinker/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

In London a criminal mastermind called the Snake is being pursued by Inspector Elford (Heinz Drache). The Snake seems to somehow be involved with a zoo managed by Frank Sutton (Gunter Pfitzmann), who receives a threatening letter from the Snake. Sutton's fiancee, Beryl (Barbara Rutting), is a mystery writer as well as the niece of the lovably eccentric Nancy Mulford (Agnes Windeck), who owns the zoo and lives in a sprawling mansion. Other characters include newspaper publisher Sir Geoffrey (Siegfried Schurenberg); his mincing if hetero reporter, Harras (Eddi Arent); Millie Trent (Inge Langen), Sutton's strangely hostile secretary; and the skulking Krishna (Klaus Kinski), who carries out much of the Snake's dirty work. 

Drache with Agnes Windeck

The Squeaker takes a while to get going and some viewers may want to give up on it after about half an hour of relative tedium. But eventually the movie becomes rather lively, with some creative deaths, prowling tigers, weird weapons, and quite a few slithering reptiles, as well as an interesting climax wherein the eccentric old lady -- who has her own axe to grind -- confronts the Snake in her dining room. The villain's identity may or may not come as a surprise, although it's telegraphed towards the end. The cast is game, with Agnes Windeck really scoring as the old lady, but Eddi Arent -- who gives virtually the same unfunny performance in every single movie -- is incredibly irritating.  

Verdict: Yet another West German Edgar Wallace adaptation which is not without interest. **1/2. 

THE INDIAN SCARF

Klaus Kinski and Heinz Drache

THE INDIAN SCARF (aka Das indische Tuch/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. In widescreen "Ultrascope."

After Lord Lebanon is strangled in his castle, lawyer Frank Tanner (Heinz Drache) gathers the relatives in the dining room and reads the first of two wills. They all must stay together in the castle for several days before they can hear the details of the final will, or forfeit their inheritance. As an unknown figures goes about strangling virtually the entire cast with the title object, Tanner tries to figure out which of the household is homicidal: the hated American Tilling (Hans Nielsen); his shrewish wife (Gisela Uhling); the bastard Ross (Klaus Kinski); the butler Bonwit (Eddi Arent); the strange and hulking Chiko (Ady Berber); Lady Lebanon (Elisabeth Flickenschildt); her son, Edward (Hans Clarin), a classical pianist; or someone else? 

Elisabeth Flickenschildt and Hans Clarin

Like other West German Edgar Wallace adaptations, The Indian Scarf has a good (if rather familiar) plot, but its execution is mediocre. With its inappropriate musical score and flaccid direction, there are only a few arresting moments, but not a dollop of tension or major suspense, and with this storyline that's criminal. As usual the acting is good -- another vivid performance from Flickenschildt, for instance, and Clarin is quite effective -- and just as usual Eddi Arent nearly stinks up the whole production with his unsubtle allegedly comic approach. However, Siegfried Schurenberg is not cast as a police superintendent but as a victim for a change. An actress named Corney Collins is cast as the Lovely Young Lady and Alexander Engel is the reverend. Although the final scenes are quite well-done, there is a campy coda involving the benefactor of the will that may have you groaning. At least we do hear some nice classical music throughout the film, especially Chopin's "Fantasie-Impromptu" (popularized as "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows") although the jazzed-up version played over the credits is unfortunate. 

Verdict: Even absurd plots should be taken seriously if they're going to work. **1/2.

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND

The Blue Hand zeroes in on a victim

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND (aka Die blaue Hand/1967). Director: Alfred Vohrer.  

Dave Emerson (Klaus Kinski), who has a twin brother named Richard, claims that he was wrongfully convicted of murdering the family gardener and escapes from an institution run by the weird Dr. Mangrove (Carl Lange of The Fellowship of the Frog). Inspector Craig (Harald Leipnitz of The Brides of Fu Manchu) realizes that Dave has taken Richard's place, but feels he is telling the truth, despite the misgivings of Sir John (Siegfried Schurenberg) of Scotland Yard. Meanwhile an unknown figure in a cloak and hood who wears a blue glove with spikes on it runs about the Emerson castle killing the relatives of an appalled Lady Emerson (Ilse Steppat of The Sinister Monk). Her stepdaughter, Myrna (Diana Korner) is kidnapped and taken to Mangrove's asylum, where she faces an assortment of mice and snakes unless she signs certain papers. But who is the sinister "boss" who not only gives orders to Mangrove -- who is paid to put sane wealthy people away to steal their money -- but to the homicidal Blue Hand as well?

Ilse Steppat and Klaus Kinski

The Blue Hand is another convoluted Edgar Wallace story which remains a bit confusing but generally explains most of what's going on at the end. Kinski, who played supporting roles in many of these films, practically has the lead, and is quite good as the twins. Also noteworthy is Ilse Steppat, most famous for her role as Irma Bunt in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. (Sadly she died at only 52 after making that movie.) Albert Bessler makes an impression as the butler, Anthony, who always seems to be around just when you need him. The mastermind behind all of the goings-on isn't revealed until practically the last moment. 

Verdict: Weird, colorful, amusing -- and confusing -- Edgar Wallace concoction. **1/2. 

THE INN ON THE RIVER

Joachim Fuchsberger and Brigette Grothum

THE INN ON THE RIVER (aka Das Gasthaus an der Themse/1962). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

A criminal mastermind known as the Shark is operating in and around a waterfront dive known as the Mekka Inn. The place is run by the shady Nellie Ochs (Elizabeth Flickenschildt of The Terrible People), whose niece, Leila (Brigette Grothum), works as a waitress there. Wearing a scuba outfit  and using a harpoon gun, the Shark dispatches his enemies and sends confederates out to pick up the bodies. Inspector Wade (Joachim Fuchsberger), who is strongly attracted to Leila, matches wits with her aunt while he tracks down the Shark and deals with his generally nasty associates. 

Elisabeth Flickenschildt

The Inn on the River has a typically convoluted Edgar Wallace storyline and one has to pay careful attention to keep track of who's who. The atmospheric locations of docks, sewers, and other underground chambers are the chief assets of the picture, along with the sharp performance of Flickenschildt, although most of the cast is pretty decent. Campy Eddi Arent is again drafted as comic relief and is as irritating as usual. Klaus Kinski plays the usual suspicion person who may or may not be a bad guy. The flick has terrible theme music.

Verdict: Some intriguing aspects but not entirely successful. **1/2. 

THE SECRET OF THE BLACK WIDOW

Karin Dor

THE SECRET OF THE BLACK WIDOW (aka Das Geiheimnis der Schwarzen Witwe/1963). Director: Franz Josef Gottlieb.  

In London a tippling reporter named Welby (O. W. Fischer) angers his bosses by writing lurid articles about a series of murders. The victims are taken out by a poisoned dart that is fired by a blow gun and has a rubber spider at the end. The paper Welby works for is owned by a group of men who are the victims of the unknown killer. Years ago, these men were on an expedition in Mexico which discovered a horde of Aztec treasure -- their leader, Avery, was murdered. It turns out that a secretary named Clarisse (Karin Dor) is Avery's daughter, and suspicion soon falls upon her. Is Clarisse the Black Widow, or is someone else responsible for the deaths?

Klaus Kinski, O. W. Fischer

The Secret of the Black Widow is a West German thriller that for once is not based on a story by Edgar Wallace, although it's very, very much like something Wallace would come up with. In addition to Dor, the film is full of familiar faces from other krimi movies: Klaus Kinski as a mysterious man who appears now and then to get Welby out of danger; Eddi Arent as a bumbling public servant, the usual comedy relief; Werner Peters as Osborne, Welby's direct superior; and others. At times the film is much sillier than it needs to be, the climax is dragged out to a tedious degree, but there is some suspense and the true identity of the Black Widow is a bit of a surprise. Franz Josef Gottlieb also directed the similarly mediocre Curse of the Hidden Vault. 

Verdict: Acceptable West German crime thriller. **1/2. 

THE STRANGE COUNTESS

Brigitte Grothum, Lil Dagover, and Eddi Arent

THE STRANGE COUNTESS (aka Sie seltsame Grafin/1961). Directors: Josef von Baky; Jurgen Roland; Ottokar Runze.

Margaret (Brigitte Grothum) receives menacing phone calls from a strange man (Klaus Kinski), is nearly killed on more than one occasion, and decides to accept a job offer from Countess Luana Moran (Lil Dagover) to become her new secretary. Margaret had previously worked for the countess' lawyer, Shaddle (Fritz Rasp), who importunes Inspector Dorn (Joachim Fuchsberger) to watch out for her as he feels she's in danger. This proves true even when Margaret arrives at the countess' imposing castle, and meets her son, Selwyn (Eddi Arent), the strange Dr. Tappan (Rudolf Fernau), and the oily Chesney Praye (Richard Haussler), among others. If a near-death incident on a collapsing balcony weren't enough, Margaret learns that Mary Pinder (Marianne Hoppe), a woman who served twenty years for poisoning someone, is her biological mother and is coming to work at the castle! Time to seek new employment, perhaps? 

Grothum with Joachim Fuchsberger

This is another West German thriller based on a novel by Edgar Wallace. With mysterious countesses and castles, sinister psychiatric clinics, and a hero who doesn't clue the heroine in as to what's going on and therefore manages to frighten her as much as the bad guys, Strange Countess betrays its thirties origins. While you may develop some interest as to why Margaret is on somebody's hit list, the movie never becomes gripping, although the actors are certainly game. Lil Dagover was a German actress who had a very long career and who appeared in the original silent Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. 

Verdict: Despite a dozen or so people running around in all directions this never becomes that interesting. **. 

THE CURSE OF THE HIDDEN VAULT

Ernst Fritz Furbringer and Harald Leipnitz

THE CURSE OF THE HIDDEN VAULT (aka Die Gruft mit dem Ratselschloss/1964.) Director: Franz Josef Gottlieb.  

An old gangster named Real (Rudolf Roster) has amassed a fortune -- mostly from others -- and placed it in a booby-trapped vault on his estate. Real wants to leave his fortune to Kathleen Kent (Judith Dornys), the daughter of a man he cheated years ago, but all of Real's associates want their cut first and will kidnap and murder anyone they can to get it. Kathleen is accompanied by her nerdy, officious lawyer, Ferry Westlake (Eddi Arent) and is befriended by the mysterious Jimmy Flynn (Harald Leipnitz), who seems to be playing both sides against the other. Meanwhile Inspector Angel (Harry Meyen), egged on by Sir John (Siegfried Schurenberg), tries to get enough on everyone to make an arrest. 

Klaus Kinski

The main problem with Hidden Vault is that it can't make up its mind if its a serious thriller or a parody of one. The presence of Eddi Arent, playing his usual role of comedy relief, doesn't help at all, although he does get the last laugh at the very end. While much of the film is tedious, there are a couple of good scenes set in an old mill, and a gruesome business where one character falls in front of a grindstone. Klaus Kinski [Schizoid] plays a sinister mute character who slithers about causing mischief and worse. The movie has just a few James Bond-like touches and there are some surprises to boot. For the record the vault in this movie is hardly "hidden" as lots of characters find it with ease. Franz Josef Gottlieb also directed the eurospy feature Die Slowly, You'll Enjoy it More with Lex Barker.   

Verdict: Another Edgar Wallace adaptation from West Germany. **1/4.

SCHIZOID

SCHIZOID (1980). Written and directed by David Paulsen. 

Julie (Marianna Hill) writes a Lonely Hearts column for a newspaper, and begins receiving strange, threatening letters employing cut-out letters from magazines. At the same time, other members of her therapy group are being sliced and diced by a scissors-wielding maniac. The suspects are numerous: Julie's husband (Craig Wasson of Body Double) is not happy with the fact that she is divorcing him; Julie's shrink (Klaus Kinski) is an unethical creep who is having sex with at least two of his patients, including Julie; the shrink's daughter, Alison (Donna Wilkes), is a neurotic who hates anyone who takes away her father's attention; and lonely Gilbert (Christopher Lloyd) is not only in the therapy group but also is the maintenance man at the newspaper. Shizoid does manage to work up some suspense as to the identity of the killer, and moves at a good pace. The kill scenes are moderately gruesome and not that inspired. Kinski gives a good performance and is given two sex scenes, which may or may not have been excruciating for the leading ladies. Donna Wilkes is effective as Alison, who enjoys dressing up as if she were in a piece of film noir. Joe Regalbuto, who later wound up on Murphy Brown, plays a cop. Christopher Lloyd is perfectly okay as Gilbert, but you wouldn't have imagined that he'd be in for major success with Taxi and the Back to the Future movies. 

Verdict: Okay slasher flick. **1/2.