LONGLEGS

Dakota Daulby and Maika Monroe

LONGLEGS (2024). Written and directed by Osgood Perkins.

FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is assigned to the case of a weirdo named Longlegs (Nicolas Cage) who somehow gets men to murder their families and then off themselves. As Lee and her boss, Carter (Blair Underwood), investigate further, Lee discovers that Longlegs' accomplice may be much closer to home than she realized. And what about that strange lifelike doll that's found under the floorboards in an abandoned home?

Nicolas Cage in another bad movie

The vastly overpraised and illogical Longlegs is almost like a travesty of a serial killer movie. It's hard to imagine that someone as nervous and neurotic as Lee Harker would ever have been made an FBI agent. Even if one accepts that Lee is a strange, moody person, it doesn't excuse the wretched and dull performance given by Ms. Monroe. Nicolas Cage -- yes, this is yet another lousy movie that the actor is in -- offers a perfectly okay stunt performance aided by tons of spooky make up. 

How did I get in this crap? Alicia Witt 

Alicia Witt, who once starred in slasher films like Urban Legend, is also okay as Lee's weird mother.  Although Blair Underwood from L.A. Law is now middle-aged, he still seems cute and baby-faced, but his performance is -- again -- okay. There are so many holes and implausible moments in the story that it's almost laughable, and the movie isn't good enough to enable the viewer to suspend disbelief. Osgood Perkins, the son of Anthony Psycho Perkins, does not betray much skill as either a writer or a director: the movie has no energy. The film's only saving grace is the atmospheric cinematography by Andres Arochi. Elvis Perkins' score has its moments as well. 

Verdict: For heaven's sake if Nicolas Cage is in the cast find another movie! *1/2. 

INCONCEIVABLE

Gina Gershon and Nicolas Cage

INCONCEIVABLE (2017). Director: Jonathan Baker. 

Brian (Nicolas Cage) and his wife Angela (Gina Gershon) encounter a troubled young woman named Katie (Nicky Whelan) who also has a young daughter. The two woman decide they can help each other out by letting Katie and her child move in, where she can act as nanny to Angela's little girl. Angela is okay with Katie having a girlfriend, who is eventually murdered. Later it is decided that Katie will be a surrogate for the couple's next child, but problems quickly begin to develop and things begin spiraling out of control. Katie not only lays claim to the child she's carrying, but to Angela and Brian's daughter as well, and the couple are shocked to find out why. Eventually things escalate into violence ... 

Faye Dunaway

Why anyone conceived that Inconceivable was a good idea is beyond me. It's all been done before -- and done better -- in movies such as The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Is the picture trying to be hip -- or regressive -- in employing a psychotic lesbian/bisexual as a character?  By now it should be apparent that Nicolas Cage will attach himself  to virtually any crappy project and can no longer be taken seriously as an "A" list actor. It's a question of who looks worse, Cage, or Faye Dunaway, with her collagen lips. In any case, the performances in this are good with Dunaway and a sympathetic Gershon coming off best. 

Verdict: A mediocre Lifetime  movie with bigger names. **.