WHAT THE PEEPER SAW

Mark Lester and Britt Ekland

WHAT THE PEEPER SAW (aka La tua prezenza nuda!/1972. Directors: James Kelley; Andrea Bianchi.

12-year-old Marcus (Mark Lester) comes home from school -- supposedly because of a chicken pox outbreak -- and meets his new stepmother, Elise (Britt Ekland of King Solomon's Treasure), for the first time. Initially they seem to hit it off, but Elise accuses Marcus of lying about some missing money. Her husband, Paul (Hardy Kruger), takes the boy's side. She goes to Marcus' school to speak to the headmaster (Harry Andrews) and discovers that Marcus was actually expelled from school for bizarre behavior, which includes peeping on couples in the local lover's lane and torturing and killing a cat! But Elise begins to suspect that Marcus may be guilty of even worse things, especially when she learns his mother's death might not have been an accident. Is the boy a sociopathic murderer, or is Elise herself in need of psychiatric help?

Who's the crazy one? Lilli Palmer, Britt Ekland

What the Peeper Saw has an interesting premise, but despite a decent screenplay it lacks the tension and skill that could have turned it into a nail-biter. Instead it meanders along at a deliberate, even dull, pace with the occasional startling moment, such as when Elise agrees to strip for the boy in exchange for his confessing to certain malfeasances. This certainly gets the attention of psychiatrist Dr. Viorne (Lilli Palmer) in a well-played sequence in her office that is by far the best scene in the movie. All of the actors are quite good in this, with Palmer a stand-out as she realizes Elise may need more help than the child. The ending packs a small wallop. 

Verdict: Too bad. This one had distinct possibilities, but ...  **1/4. 

KING SOLOMON'S TREASURE

Macnee, Colicos, McCallum 

KING SOLOMON'S TREASURE (1979). Director: Alvin Rakoff. 

Allan Quatermaine (John Colicos), Henry Curtis (David McCallum), and Captain Good (Patrick Macnee) travel through Africa to try and find King Solomon's lost treasure. Along the way they pick up a portly French chef, Alphonse (Yvon Dufour), and a handsome, noble African named Umpslopogas (Ken Gampu). They also encounter -- oddly enough -- a variety of dinosaurs, but don't seem all that befuddled by their presence. Finally they come upon the lost kingdom of Zuvenda ruled over by -- you guessed it -- a beautiful blond queen (Britt Ekland). Then there's warfare and an erupting volcano for good measure.

Britt Ekland

If ever there were a picture made strictly for tax loss purposes, King Solomon's Treasure is it. It is chockful of absurdities. Things seem headed in the right direction when African natives are actually played by African natives  -- this was filmed in Swaziland as well as in Montreal -- but when Britt Ekland shows up you know you're back in fantasy land. The presence of dinosaurs -- all of which look pretty terrible and are mock-ups of limited movement -- doesn't make any sense at all. There are a couple of giant crabs as well. McCallum and Macnee -- both of whom had starred in successful TV series in the sixties (The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and The Avengers, respectively) must have thought this was the absolute nadir of their careers. Macnee dispenses his usual suavity and charm, and McCallum portrays the comic relief until he starts necking with Ekland. Any similarity to H. Rider Haggard is strictly coincidental.

Verdict: Terrible. Just terrible! *. 

ASYLUM

Robert Powell 

ASYLUM (1972). Director: Roy Ward Baker. Screenplay by Robert Bloch.

Dr. Martin (Robert Powell) arrives at the Dunsmoor Asylum to be interviewed for a job by Dr. Starr. Martin is told by Starr's assistant, Rutherford (Patrick Magee), that Starr has gone crazy and is now one of the institution's patients! Rutherford tells Martin that he can have the job if he is able to tell which of the inmates he's going to see is actually Dr. Starr. The patients then tell Martin their rather horrific stories as he tries to figure out who's who.

Richard Todd wants his wife to "rest in pieces!"

The first story, an EC Comics pastiche, has a man (Richard Todd) taking an ax to his wife (Sylvia Sims) so that he can be with his mistress (Barbara Parkins). Unfortunately for both of them, the wife's pieces, wrapped in paper, come alive to get revenge upon them. In the second and arguably best story a financially-desperate tailor (Barry Morse) accepts a commission from a strange man (Peter Cushing of The Beast Must Die) who wants him to make a special suit -- but he can only work on it at certain hours. 

Charlotte Rampling and Britt Eklund

The third story is a fairly obvious split-personality tale of a sick woman (Charlotte Rampling) and her best friend (Britt Eklund) and murders that ensue. The final story has an inmate (Herbert Lom) putting his soul into a tiny robot-like replica of itself, a murderous "doll" that has realistic internal organs and blood inside of it. Despite some lame aspects -- and its lack of real scares -- Asylum is probably the best horror anthology put together by Amicus Studios. The film is well-acted, fast-paced, and extremely entertaining. Barry Morse [No Trace], who is marvelous as the tailor, certainly shows off his  versatility in this.

Verdict: Lots of fun! ***.