GOD TOLD ME TO

Tony Lo Bianco

GOD TOLD ME TO (1976). Written, produced and directed by Larry Cohen.

In New York City a sniper crawls atop a water tower and starts picking off innocent pedestrians. Another man goes berserk with a knife. A uniformed cop (Andy Kaufman in a very early role) starts shooting people at the Irish parade. In each case the perpetrator says "God told me to" and then commits suicide. Detective Peter Nicholas (Tony Lo Bianco) investigates the multitude of murders and discovers that one particular individual may link them all: Bernard Phillips (Richard Lynch), a man whose mother (Sylvia Sidney of Death at Love House) was possibly taken aboard an extraterrestrial spaceship! Phillips is a hermaphrodite with strange mind control powers. Confronting the man, Nicholas realizes that he, too, may have an extraterrestrial origin. 

Richard Lynch as Phillips

God Told Me to has some interesting notions and a decidedly interesting cast: in addition to those named, we also have the ever-quirky Sandy Dennis as Nicholas' estranged wife; Deborah Raffin as his live-in girlfriend; Mike Kellin as the dyspeptic Deputy Commissioner; Sam Levene as businessman Everett Lukas; and John Heffernan as a man named Bramwell. Larry Cohen has assembled a great cast, but if only he had spent more time on his half-baked screenplay, which drops in some intriguing ideas but never develops them in any compelling fashion. This is especially a shame because the characterizations are well-delineated, Frankly the movie only works at all because of the score by Frank Cordell, which consistently imbues scenes with suspense and tension that would not have existed without it. (Ironically, the film is dedicated to the memory of Bernard Herrmann, who actually worked on one of Cohen's films, It's Alive.) Richard Lynch (of Miner's Massacre) probably has the most unusual role of his career. Tony Lo Bianco's performance is solid, but the script lets him down.

Verdict: A little too odd for its own good. **1/4. 

MINER'S MASSACRE/ CURSE OF THE FORTY-NINER

Stephen Wastell as Axl

MINER'S MASSACRE (aka Curse of the Forty-Niner/2002). Director: John Carl Buechler. 

Three couples, including Axl (Stephen Wastell) and Tori (Sangie), set off to a small town because they have been told that there's a mess of gold in a mine there. But a hideous figure -- an old (and deceased) "forty-niner" (Brad H. Arden) -- takes exception to this and begins killing them all off. This is a by-the-numbers slasher film with an uninteresting maniac, and characters that no one can care about. 

John Phillip Law 

The most interesting thing about the movie is the cast. Not the young people -- although they are all professional -- but such veterans as John Phillip Law as the sheriff; Karen Black channeling Agnes Moorehead from Hush ... Hush Sweet Charlotte as batty Aunt Nelly; Martin Kove as her neighbor, Cabel; Richard Lynch as "Old Man Prichard," an early victim of the forty-niner; and Jeff Conaway playing a preacher in a flashback sequence. 

Karen Black as Aunt Nelly

As in Leprechaun, the miner in this wants his stolen gold back -- or else. There is very little originality in the screenplay, which includes flatulence jokes and one scene of Axl having an explosive bowel movement -- what fun! As Axl, Stephen Wastell at least displays some presence. This whole mess was executive- produced by Peter Lupus, who played Willie on Mission: Impossible. His son, Peter Lupus III, produced. 

Verdict: No great reason to waste your time on this one. *1/2.