THE SUBSTANCE

Demi Moore

THE SUBSTANCE (2024). Written and directed by Coralie Fargeat. 

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore of Parasite) has a very popular exercise program but boss Harvey (Dennis Quiad) thinks she's grown too old and has to be replaced. A certain doctor lets Elisabeth know about a new, highly secretive procedure that she might be interested in. Via injections and other outre methods, Elisabeth winds up growing a younger version of herself (Margaret Qualley) out of her own back. Apparently these two bodies share the same mind -- at least at first -- but they must switch off every other week while the other one stays comatose in a secret chamber. Eventually, unfortunately, the younger and older versions of Elisabeth see themselves as separate entities, and jealousy ensues -- and lots worse! 

Margaret Qualley

The Substance is hardly the first movie to deal with age discrimination, or to deal with a woman who takes outrageous steps to become younger and faces dire consequences because of it. The Leech Woman and Countess Dracula are only two that come to mind. (The Manitou also presented a woman with a tumor inside her back that turns out to be a malignant human being.) Just like those others, the characterization in The Substance is kind of thin. Therefore what we've got left is an admittedly entertaining black comedy that pulls you in after a slow start. The performances are broad but good -- this includes Gore Abrahms as Oliver -- and the cinematography (Benjamin Crakun) is outstanding. 

Work out!

Two questions remain. The younger version of Elisabeth apparently doesn't actually look that much like her or people would wonder if she were her own daughter, which never happens. Secondly, there is never any talk of financial terms when Elisabeth makes her deal with the devil (so to speak) -- surely this incredible and weird procedure would cost a lot. Of course, these things don't really matter when you consider that The Substance proceeds like a very dark fairy tale and works fairly well on that level. The riotous over-the-top climax goes on too long -- the whole movie is too long -- and its coda is a little too cute. This was nominated for five Oscars, including Best Picture, Actress, and Screenplay, but not for cinematography, the only one it really deserves! The best scene shows Elisabeth preparing to go out on a date as her older self, trying one look after another, and then just giving up in despair. 

Verdict: Fun, gross, interesting, but not as original -- nor quite as good -- as one might imagine. ***. 

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

Jason Momoa as Aquaman

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM (2023). Director: James Wan. 

In this sequel to Aquaman, Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) has to team up with his brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson), getting him out of a horrible prison, when the threat of Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) again rears its head. Manta -- who blames Aquaman for his father's death and basically wants to hold everyone responsible -- finds an ancient trident and enters into an unholy alliance with a demonic figure, Cartex, from a lost kingdom called Necrus. Manta has also discovered an ancient fuel which long-ago Atlanteans realized was too dangerous, and now it is threatening the entire world, creating mutations such as giant bugs and man-eating plants, due to radiation. With the help of a nerdy scientist, Dr. Shin (Randall Park), the two brothers attempt to stop Manta before he can destroy Earth, both the surface world and the world beneath the waves.  

Black Manta

Atlantis has not yet revealed itself to the surface world at the beginning of the film, and most of the Atlantean council want to eradicate it, just as Orm does. Aquaman, of course, mightily objects to this. He does have other allies, however, including his mother, Atlanna (Nicole Kidman), wife Mera (Amber Heard), and his father Tom (Temuera Morrison), as well as some strange undersea creatures, many of which hang out in a sunken citadel full of odd talking fish-people. Then there's Topo, the cephalopod, a genetically-engineered octopus or squid who showed up now and then in the old Aquaman comics stories. There's also an adorable little baby boy, child of Arthur and Mera, who is kidnapped by Black Manta (who actually killed him in the comics, but not in the film). 

Brothers bond: Wilson and Momoa

One problem with the film -- for me at least -- is that in this Aquaman follows in the footsteps of Marvel's Thor and has been turned into a dopey comic figure. While the FX and photography are all first-rate, and the film is undeniably colorful, others have noted that it seems like a hodge podge of old ideas and different movies, turning into a mere empty spectacle that is good to look at, modestly entertaining, and ultimately forgettable. Hopefully I'm not giving too much away when I reveal that the two brothers are reunited and Atlantis reveals itself to the world at large in the finale. One hopes this doesn't mean there will be a third Aquaman movie.

Verdict: Okay if you're in a silly mood. **1/4. 

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN

Jeff Richards and John Smith

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN (1959). Director: Frank Tuttle. Colorized.

Radio commentator Mark Bradley (Jeff Richards) and his pilot Joe Walker (John Smith of Hot Rod Girl) run into engine trouble and make a landing on what appears to be a deserted island. However, there are several occupants, including three beautiful women: Venus (Venetia Stevenson of The Big Night); Urana (Diane Jergens); and Mercuria (June Blair). Their father, Dr. Paul Lujan (Alan Napier of The Mole People) ran away from the world with his now-dead wife and small daughters because he could see what was coming, as he was an associate of Einstein's and an expert in nuclear fission. When the two men discover who he is, Bradley wants to break the story of the missing scientist when he gets back to civilization, only Lujan wants to hold them prisoner. After Lujan destroys their plane with a flame-thrower gun, Mark and Joe concoct a plan to build a raft and leave the island. But then the gals want to go with them ... 

John Smith with the women

Island of Lost Women is a mediocre timewaster with an interesting premise, but not that much is done with it. The performances are all competent, although Richards has been seen to better advantage elsewhere, and the talented Venetia Stevenson is pretty much wasted. John Smith makes a better impression, even if he's getting by mostly on charm. The other gals are cute and Napier does the best he can with an under-written and rather sappy role. This reminds one a bit of Fire Maidens of Outer Space -- a father and daughters in an isolated habitat -- but even that was more fun than this!

Verdict: At least there's a rather good-looking cast! **. 

THE SQUEAKER

Gunter Pfitzmann and Heinz Drache

THE SQUEAKER (aka Der Zinker/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

In London a criminal mastermind called the Snake is being pursued by Inspector Elford (Heinz Drache). The Snake seems to somehow be involved with a zoo managed by Frank Sutton (Gunter Pfitzmann), who receives a threatening letter from the Snake. Sutton's fiancee, Beryl (Barbara Rutting), is a mystery writer as well as the niece of the lovably eccentric Nancy Mulford (Agnes Windeck), who owns the zoo and lives in a sprawling mansion. Other characters include newspaper publisher Sir Geoffrey (Siegfried Schurenberg); his mincing if hetero reporter, Harras (Eddi Arent); Millie Trent (Inge Langen), Sutton's strangely hostile secretary; and the skulking Krishna (Klaus Kinski), who carries out much of the Snake's dirty work. 

Drache with Agnes Windeck

The Squeaker takes a while to get going and some viewers may want to give up on it after about half an hour of relative tedium. But eventually the movie becomes rather lively, with some creative deaths, prowling tigers, weird weapons, and quite a few slithering reptiles, as well as an interesting climax wherein the eccentric old lady -- who has her own axe to grind -- confronts the Snake in her dining room. The villain's identity may or may not come as a surprise, although it's telegraphed towards the end. The cast is game, with Agnes Windeck really scoring as the old lady, but Eddi Arent -- who gives virtually the same unfunny performance in every single movie -- is incredibly irritating.  

Verdict: Yet another West German Edgar Wallace adaptation which is not without interest. **1/2. 

THE SCREAMING SKULL

John Hudson and Peggy Webber

THE SCREAMING SKULL (1958). Director: Alex Nichol. Colorized. 

Eric Whitlock (John Hudson) brings his new wife, Jenni (Peggy Webber), home to his estate where his first wife died in an accident. Insecure and neurotic, Jenni has spent time in a sanitarium -- and not just for a rest cure. Now she begins seeing a skull lying and even moving about when no one else is around. Eric suspects the culprit is the simple-minded caretaker and gardener, Mickey (Alex Nicol, who also directed), but he denies all. Jenni wonders if she should just pack it in and head back to the nuthouse ...

Webber with Alex Nichol

The plot isn't much in this standard thriller, but it's well acted, competently directed by Nicol, and well-photographed by Floyd Crosby, who did a lot of work for Roger Corman (including Attack of the Crab Monsters). John Hudson was the twin brother of William Hudson of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman fame. Although not especially attractive by conventional Hollywood standards, Webber was a very talented actress and acquits herself admirably in this pot-boiler. Nicol isn't always convincing as a simpleton, but he generally gets it across. The story mixes touches of the supernatural with a heinous human plot but this approach doesn't always blend well.    

Verdict: Good performances help put this over but it isn't that memorable. **1/4.