THE FINAL GIRLS

THE FINAL GIRLS (2015). Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson. 

Max (Taissa Farmiga) is the daughter of the late actress, Nancy (Malin Akerman), whose claim to fame was appearing in Camp Bloodbath twenty years earlier. Max is importuned to go with Chris (Alexander Ludwig), a boy she has a crush on, to a special showing of the film and its sequel. When a fire breaks out in the theater, Max, Chris and other friends escape through a hole in the screen and inexplicably wind up in the movie, where Max encounters her own mother, who is now about her age. Max and the others are hoping that the killer of the film, the tormented Billy turned maniac, will not go after them, but on that they are wrong. Meanwhile, as in You Might Be the Killer, there's an argument over which of the ladies will be the "final girl" who will kill Billy. 

While one could argue that the premise of Final Girls is somewhat clever, the execution is another story. The movie doesn't wallow in gore, but aside from one creepy and suspenseful sequence, it doesn't do much else. The acting is competent, but the screenplay becomes incredibly silly. A slow-motion chase sequence just when the film should be most exciting makes no sense at all. 

The cast of Final Girls

The movie, vastly overpraised, supposedly engenders some moments of "emotional depth" (having to do with mother and daughter, I suppose) but this is probably because the average slasher film fanatic wouldn't know emotional depth if it bit them on ass. We never learn if there were any survivors of what appears to be a terrible fire, and none of these young people even bother to ask -- so much for depth. One sequence is backed up by Kim Carnes choking out "Bette Davis Eyes." Ultimately, you can hardly wait for the film to just be over. It's like the cinematic equivalent of a Young Adult horror novel, and not one of the better ones. Outtakes make it clear that the cast had more fun making the movie than we did watching it. 

Verdict: A promising idea that quickly turns to schlock. *3/4. 

KILL ME, DEADLY

KILL ME, DEADLY (2015). Director: Darrett Sanders.

In this film noir spoof set in 1947 and shot in black and white a private eye, Charlie Nickels (Dean Lemont), goes to see a client (Lesley-Anne Down of In the Devil's Garden) who fears her life is in danger and sure enough she is shot to death not much later. Suspects include her nerdy son, Clive (Nicholas S. Williams), sexy daughter, Veronica (Raleigh Holmes), the fired gardener and butler, and a chubby femme fatale named Mona (Kirsten Vangsness) who is a sultry singer in a nightclub. This should all be great material for a hilarious satire but the movie is slow and dull and shockingly unfunny, with only a couple of mild chuckles throughout. Occasionally the dialogue is clever, but more often cliched. The stylized performances aren't especially amusing either, defeating the whole purpose of the movie, although some of them, especially Vangsness -- who does a mean imitation of Kathleen Turner -- and Down, give it their all. The climax is a little bit interesting, but not enough to save the movie. This was based on a stage play that might have worked with the right players, but Carol Burnett herself might have been stumped by the material. Vangsness was the executive producer and two of her co-stars on Criminal Minds have parts: Shemar Moore in a bit as a piano player and Joe Mantegna as Bugsy Siegel.

Verdict: This is deadly all right. Watch Kiss Me Deadly instead. *1/2. 

HOLLYWOOD PRESENTS JULES VERNE

HOLLYWOOD PRESENTS JULES VERNE: The Father of Science Fiction On Screen. Brian Taves. University Press of Kentucky; 2015.

Jules Verne, the Father of Science Fiction, created concepts and imaginative story ideas that would only naturally be adapted for movies. Hollywood Presents Jules Verne looks at the author's output and its adaptations, always with an eye on how closely the films hew to the spirit if not the letter of Verne, although Taves does discuss changes that were made in the journey from published work to motion picture. In this highly detailed work, Taves not only looks at famous adaptations, such as Disney's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Journey to the Center of the Earth and Mysterious Island, but also lesser-known films, TV shows, documentaries on Verne, cartoons, and feature-length animated movies. Taves discusses films as diverse as the dreadful Where Time Began ("a very satisfactory although uneven effort") and Journey 2: Mysterious Island ("a variety of fresh interpretations of the Vernian world"), and sometimes cuts a mediocre film some slack simply because it allegedly embodies the spirit of Verne. Whether the likes of Journey 2 will actually get its viewers to read Verne is debatable, but this is a good and rewarding book nevetheless. NOTE: William Schoell is the author of Remarkable Journeys: The Story of Jules Verne.

Verdict: Well-done, illustrated tome on Verne's work and its adaptations to film. ***1/2.

SECRETS OF A PSYCHOPATH

Mark Famiglietti as Henry

SECRETS OF A PSYCHOPATH (2015.) Director: Bert. I Gordon. 

Henry (Mark Famiglietti) lives with his sister, Katherine (Kari Wuhrer), in their large family home. Apparently the only woman Henry can have sex with successfully is his sister, but he makes attempts with other women he meets on the internet and at the movies. He has gone so far as to get engaged to Grace (Mary Anthony), whom he has also met online. But when Grace shows up at the house to tie the knot, she finds a jealous future sister-in-law  waiting, and discovers she is in the midst of a deadly and frightening situation ... 

Secrets of a Psychopath is a comeback of sorts for Mr. BIG, aka Bert I. Gordon, who worked on so many fun creature features in the fifties through seventies such as Earth vs the Spider, The Magic Sword, The Food of the Gods and The Cyclops. Gordon even managed to snare no less than Orson Welles to star in one of his minor B productions, Necromancy. At the ripe young age of 93 Gordon directed this, his last feature to date -- no mean achievement. Unfortunately, while I'd like to report that this is Gordon's masterpiece, it's not that great a movie, and certainly much, much less fun than Mr. BIG's flicks on giant spiders, grasshoppers and Amazing Colossal Men. 

Wuhrer, Anthony and Famiglietti

The shame of it is that Secrets of a Psychopath has some damn good things going for it. There's the attractive lensing by Brett A. Hart which gives the picture a clean and polished look, and an effective score by Scott Glascow (although it generally tends to be a bit too languid, unfortunately, along with the film's pacing). Then there's an excellent lead performance by the appealing Mark Famiglietti, who makes Henry another charming if no-less-deadly sociopath. Although I have never heard of her, apparently Kari Wuhrer has achieved some kind of minor fame in little-known B horror flicks, and she is good as Henry's sensual sister, Katherine. Mary Anthony is also very good as the ill-fated Grace. However, most of the rest of the cast, including Henry's other victims, are played by amateurs who lower the whole tone of the movie.

The film's premise is workable, but Gordon's script is full of holes and moments of illogic  -- Henry buries one body in broad daylight, and there's this whole incredible business with two children improbably drowning in a small plastic lawn pool and the apparent lack of repercussions to this. As mentioned, the pace of the film at times seems glacial and there's only a decent spurt of energy at the very end. Gordon's direction betrays none of the flair that would make this psycho-thriller really sing. Too bad. 

Verdict: Psychologically dubious and not much fun but it's still Mr. BIG! **.