TERROR TRAIN (2022)

Matias Lucas and Robyn Alomar

TERROR TRAIN (2022). Director: Philippe Gagnon.

In this Tubi Original remake of the 1980 slasher film, some medical students maneuver a nerdy guy into bed with a corpse and he winds up in a mental institution. While this doesn't seem especially believable, the film then jumps forward three years to a Halloween party on a train. At first people believe the corpses the party-goers stumble over are fake, but finally Alanna (Robyn  Alomar) realizes that her friends are being slaughtered one by one. Does this have something to do with that practical joke from years before, or is something else behind the body count? Alana eventually finds herself in a desperate struggle against the true killer. 

Robyn Alomar and Tim Rozon as the Magician

I freely admit I enjoyed Terror Train, finding it well-acted, suspenseful, and fast-paced, with several exciting scenes. While there are some gruesome sequences, the movie is never vomitous, which is probably why some gore geeks didn't care for it, but the film works perfectly well without the grisly upchuck stuff. The young cast is enthusiastic, and I was particularly impressed with Matias Lucas as the somewhat nasty or misunderstood "Doc," who is charismatic and effective in his portrayal, although everyone is pretty decent. Robyn Alomar acquits herself nicely as the "final girl," so to speak, although she isn't the only survivor. I also liked Mary Walsh as the head conductor, Carne, and Nadine Bhabha as her younger assistant, Sadie. Followed by a sequel shot back to back. 

Verdict: Fun contemporary slasher flick. ***. 

THE EMBALMER

Pitiful victims of the Embalmer

THE EMBALMER (aka Il mostro di Venezia/The Monster of Venice/1965). Director: Dino Tavella.

In Venice an unknown figure in a scuba outfit is swimming the canals and popping out to grab innocent young women who are never seen again. In a sinister underground chamber this crazy embalms the women with his special formula -- to keep them beautiful forever -- and puts them on macabre display. In addition to the police, a reporter named Andrea (Luigi Martocci) investigates the crimes, and gets involved with Maureen (Maureen Brown), a brave woman who is the leader of an all-female tour group. Other characters include her elderly friend, Catherine (Paola Vaccari) and Catherine's nephew, Nicky (Elmo Caruso), an archeology professor. When Maureen investigates a passageway to the underground from a certain person's apartment, she finds herself in serious trouble. Will Andrea be able to save her? 

The Embalmer on the prowl

The Embalmer has a good and very macabre premise (later used in the film Amsterdamned), which is the movie's main strength, along with that great on-location Venetian atmosphere that serves the story so well. Dino Tavella's direction is generally uninspired and slow, with some sequences and takes going on much too long. Another problem is the musical score, which is effective in some spots and horribly overdone and overly bombastic in others. The killer in this wears a cowl and hood and a skull-like face mask, and not only swims the canals but prowls the dank underground recesses of Venice. In this dubbed version the heroine is called "Maureen," which is actually the name of the actress. Director Tavella and stars Martocci and Brown each did only two films apiece. 

Verdict: Despite its flaws, this is rather creepy and interesting, with a downbeat ending. ***. 

PARANOIA

Carroll Baker and Lou Castel

PARANOIA (aka Orgasmo/1969). Director: Umberto Lenzi. 

Kathryn (Carroll Baker), recently widowed, moves into her wealthy late husband's fabulous estate in Italy. Her only companion is the dyspeptic housekeeper, Teresa (Lilla Brignone), with occasional visits from family lawyer Brian (Tino Carraro), who wants to marry her. Into her life pops hunky Peter (Lou Castel), a comparatively penniless young man who moves in on Kathryn and eventually into her home. Then who should show up but his free-spirited sister, Eva (Colette Descombes), who seems to have a hankering for Kathryn. But is Eva really Peter's sister, or something more? It isn't long before Kathryn begins to regret ever meeting the couple. 

Baker, Castel, Descombes

Paranoia is an entertaining and well-acted suspense-thriller that presents some truly despicable villains even if their victim isn't entirely sympathetic. There's another twist at the end and a satisfying denouement. This is one of several films that Baker did for director Umberto Lenzi. (This is not to be confused with another Baker/Lenzi collaboration entitled Paranoia or A Quiet Place to Kill.) Lou Castel was a Columbian actor who appeared in a number of Italian/International productions. Like most of the other films Baker did with Lenzi, lesbianism or bisexuality figures in the plot. Most of the others remind one of Diabolique, but not Paranoia.

Verdict: Absorbing story with intriguing plot and some very good players. ***. 

HIDDEN WORLD

HIDDEN WORLD. William Schoell. 2025. Raven Tale Publishing.

My latest, brand new horror tome.

Veronica Altura had gathered together a team to explore a lost city buried deep in the bowels of the earth, keeping secret her desperate reasons for doing so, but they were woefully unprepared for what they would face ten miles below the surface of the Greek island: Rat-like creatures that struck with surprising swiftness; huge reptiles with jaws that could practically swallow a person whole; and—worst of all—cannibalistic giants with a taste for human flesh and a ferocious, terrible demeanor. And literally hovering above everything was the most frightening horror of all, a demonic presence that wanted to make sure that none of them left this world alive.

Now available on kindle at Amazon! (Paperback coming soon!)

AMUCK!

Barbara Bouchet and Farley Granger

AMUCK! (aka Alla ricerca del piacere/1972). Director: Silvio Amadio. 

Greta Franklin (Barbara Bouchet of Danger Route) is sent from a New York publishing house to Venice to be the new secretary for author Richard Stuart (Farley Granger of The Slasher ... is the Sex Maniac). His last secretary, Sally (Patrizia Viotti) disappeared, and Greta hides the fact that she not only knew Sally, but was her lover, and wants to find out what happened to her. The other people in the household include Richard's wife, Eleonora (Rosalba Neri), who drugs and makes love to Greta, and fisherman Rocco (Petar Martinovitch), who lives in a nearby cottage. Greta eventually begins a relationship with Richard, but his story of what actually happened to Sally may not be the complete truth. 

Rosalba Neri and Petar Martinovitch

Amuck! is an interesting, well-acted giallo film with an absorbing storyline and some memorable sequences, such as a suspenseful bit when Greta has to be rescued from quicksand by Commissioner Antonelli (Nino Segurini), and the sexy flashback sequence to the death of Sally. As in many giallo films, the women all seem to be predatory bisexuals, sleeping with and romancing men but coming on to other women with abandon -- all of this not for any edification of sexual lifestyles or orientations but to turn on some of the male viewers. Silvio Amadio also worked with Neri in Smile Before Death. 

Verdict: Intriguing Italian mystery with lots of naked breasts for those who like that sort of thing. ***. 

THE INVISIBLE MONSTER -- IN COLOR!

Richard Webb

THE INVISIBLE MONSTER (12-chapter Republic serial/1950). Director: Fred C. Brannon. 

A fellow who calls himself The Phantom Ruler (Stanley Price) has developed a formula which makes things invisible when they are coated with it. This includes the Ruler's cloak, which makes him invisible as long as he stays within a light beam generated by his special machine. His immediate goal is to get the materials for this formula, but his ultimate plan is to gather an army of invisible soldiers to help him take over the whole country. Determined to stop him are two insurance investigators (!), Lane Carson (Richard Webb of Hillbillies in a Haunted House) and plucky Carol Richards (Aline Towne of Radar Men from the Moon). Meanwhile the evil Burton (Lane Bradford of Zombies of the Stratosphere) and his associates are out to stymie them at every turn. 

Stanley Price as the Phantom Ruler

The Invisible Monster recycles some cliffhangers but is still a snappy, fast-paced and entertaining serial. Square-jawed Webb makes an effective hero and pretty Towne is his more-than-competent companion. As the main villain, Price doesn't chew the scenery and Bradford, as usual, makes a cold, non-nonsense sociopathic assistant. Others in the cast include Tom Steele as a henchman, Marshall Reed as a cop, as well as Roy Gordon as a doctor and John Hamilton as one of the foreigners forced to work for the Phantom Ruler (in positions he secures for them for his own nefarious purposes). Highlights  of the serial include Carol nearly being flattened by a heavy vault door; Lane tied up in a handcar that is packed with explosives and sent hurtling towards a train; Carol and Lane pursued by a minecart full of coal oil that has been set on fire; and others. The fight scenes are lively and well-staged. 

Verdict: Fast-paced fun! ***. 

BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE

pitiful victims of Beast from Haunted Cave

BEAST FROM HAUNTED CAVE (1959). Directed by Monte Hellman. Produced by Roger Corman.

Handsome ski instructor Gil Jackson (Michael Forest) is unaware that a certain bunch who require his services are actually a gang that needs a place to hide out after stealing gold bars from an office. The head of the gang is Alex (Frank Wolff), who gets increasingly jealous over his girlfriend Gypsy's (Sheila Noonan) attention to Gil. The other thieves are nervous Marty (Richard Sinatra) and the nerdy Byron (Wally Campo). To cause a distraction during the robbery, Byron plants some charges in a nearby mine, inadvertently killing an old man. As the gang hide out in Gil's cabin with his Native housekeeper Small Dove (Kay Jennings), a bizarre, barely seen creature with snagging tentacles comes out of the mine ... 

Michael Forest

Beast from Haunted Cave might have been a more memorable picture if Roger Corman had not just produced but directed, as the film lacks the snappy tension of, say, Attack of the Crab Monsters (which also had a better premise). Charles Griffith's screenplay serves up some moderately interesting but half-baked characters, but it's the acting that makes them come alive, with each member of the cast giving more than the picture is worth. An amusing aspect is that Byron goes into the cave to see if he can save Small Dove after she is carried off by the tentacles, but hero Gil just sort of forgets about her as he tries to run off with Gypsy. Andrew M. Costikyan has contributed some moody and atmospheric photography of the cave and the woods, while Alexander Laszlo's score (Attack of the Giant Leeches) is typically strange but effective. 

Frank Wolff and Sheila Noonan

The squeals of the monster were lifted from Burt Gordon's Earth vs the Spider, and are the sounds of the giant spider. The monster in this, played by Chris Robinson, resembles a hulking, amorphous thingamajig covered in seaweed and webbing and with skinny, pincer-like appendages. It wraps its still-living victims in flimsy cocoons and apparently wants to suck their blood. An unintentionally hilarious scene has Gypsy telling Gil that the gang members are going to kill him, then adding that she intends to "stick around with him" (after he's dead, perhaps?) This movie might have been better if there was more of the monster and less of the gang. Michael Forest, a hunk with talent, appeared in many subsequent productions, as did Wolff. Noonan was also in The Incredible Petrified World but only had a few other credits. 

Verdict: With Corman at the helm this might have been more memorable. **1/4.

"TWICE THE THRILLS! TWICE THE CHILLS!"

"TWICE THE THRILLS! TWICE THE CHILLS!" Horror and Science Fiction Double Features, 1955 - 1974. Bryan Senn. McFarland; 2019. 

In this genuinely thrilling and well-written -- and humongous -- tome, author Senn covers all of the famous and infamous double-bills from various production companies (including AIP and Hammer Studios) throughout the fifties, sixties and early seventies. Senn writes with flair and intelligence about these mostly "B" horror/sci-fi/exploitation flicks, and it may make you want to revisit some of these gems or search out any movies that you have yet to see. They're all here, starting with Revenge of the Creature and Cult of the Cobra, continuing on with The Wasp Woman and Beast from Haunted Cave as well as Joan Crawford in Berserk and Torture Garden and winding up with Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell and Captain Kronos, Vampire Hunter. Senn doesn't condescend to these movies, no matter how low the budget, and thank goodness he sticks to accurate and informative analysis instead of pretentious psycho-twaddle. Of course you're not going to agree with his estimation of every movie, some of which he likes way better than I do (and vice versa), but that's just part of the fun. A minor complaint is that Senn perhaps spends too much space on those atrocious Andy Milligan films -- even reading about them is a bit tiresome -- but he is nothing if not complete. Oversized trade paperback that is packed with illustrations. 

Verdict: If you love these kinds of movies, this book is a rare treat! ***1/2.

THE MYSTERIOUS MAGICIAN

Bad guys: Brockmann, Lange, John, Waitzmann

THE MYSTERIOUS MAGICIAN (aka Der Hexer/1964). Director: Alfred Vohrer. In "Ultrascope." 

Gwenda Milton (Petra von der Linde), the secretary to a corpulent man named Messer (Jochen Brockmann), is strangled and her body dumped in the Thames. Realizing that Gwenda was the sister of criminal mastermind Arthur Milton, popularly known as the "Ringer," Inspector Bryan Edgar Higgins (Joachim Fuchsberger of The Fellowship of the Frog) figures that his adversary is bound to come to London for the funeral and to get even with the people who killed Gwenda. Joining him in his quest for the Ringer is veteran cop Inspector Warren (Siegfried Lowitz), as well as a mysterious man named Wesby (Heinz Drache of The Brides of Fu Manchu), who shows up at opportune moments and may even be the Ringer. Meanwhile Milton's wife, Cora Ann (Margot Trooger), has arrived in London and is in obvious communication with her unseen husband. Higgins promises his girlfriend, Elise (Sophie Hardy), that he will marry her if he captures the Ringer. As for the Ringer, he is going about taking care of the members of Messer's white slavery racket, including Reverend Hopkins (Carl Lange of Death in a Red Jaguar),  Shelby (Karl John), and Reddingwood (Kurt Waitzmann), who guides the gang's mini-sub.

Heinz Drache and Joachim Fuchsberger

Another Edgar Wallace adaptation from West Germany, this is a fast-paced, entertaining, fun movie featuring both of the "heroes" from the series, Fuchsberger and Drache. Elements from sixties spy movies had crept into the krimi movies and Fuchsberger sometimes comes off more like a spy than a police inspector, but that's not a problem in this picture. The Ringer had also appeared in a couple of earlier British films. You may think you have figured out who the Ringer is but you might be wrong. Siegfried Schurenberg appears as Higgins' boss, Sir John, but is not so buffoonish in this. The name Bryan Edgar Higgins is an in-joke referring to Bryan Edgar Wallace, the son of the famous author and a writer himself.  

Verdict: One of the better West German Wallace adaptations. ***. 

ANATOMY OF A PSYCHO

Russ Bender, Ronnie Burns, Pamela Lincoln

ANATOMY OF A PSYCHO (1961). Director: Boris Petroff.

Chet Marco (Darrell Howe) is freaking out because his brother, Duke, is being executed for murder. Chet tells their sister, Pat (Pamela Lincoln), that Duke told him he was innocent, but Pat assures him that their brother was not only guilty, but was pretty much a murderous hoodlum. But Chet can't forget that he and Pat were raised by Duke, and is still grateful to him. Pat gets engaged to Mickey (Ronnie Burns), at first unaware that his father, Frank (Russ Bender of Motorcycle Gang), was the chief witness against Duke. Then Mickey makes the mistake of telling not only Pat, but Chet about his father's testimony. Already a borderline psycho, Chet really goes off the deep end now. 

Darrell Howe

Despite its title, Anatomy of a Psycho is not a psycho-shocker or slasher film although it's clearly meant to summon up images of the Hitchcock classic. Anatomy is low-budget but absorbing, and has some decent performances. Darrell Howe is effective as Chet, although one can't relate to him, the main character, because he's simply so utterly odious, doing one horrible thing after another, although the film tries to make some excuses for him. Ronnie Burns, the adopted son of George Burns and Gracie Allen, acquits himself nicely as Mickey, who winds up on trial for first-degree murder (an unlikely scenario) due to Chet's actions, but Burns retired from show biz after this film; Howe had only a few credits. Pamela Lincoln was the daughter of Verna Hillie of Mystery Mountain and also appeared in The Tingler with Vincent Price and a few others.   

Verdict: Mildly interesting if not terribly memorable melodrama. **1/4.  

THE SUBSTANCE

Demi Moore

THE SUBSTANCE (2024). Written and directed by Coralie Fargeat. 

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore of Parasite) has a very popular exercise program but boss Harvey (Dennis Quiad) thinks she's grown too old and has to be replaced. A certain doctor lets Elisabeth know about a new, highly secretive procedure that she might be interested in. Via injections and other outre methods, Elisabeth winds up growing a younger version of herself (Margaret Qualley) out of her own back. Apparently these two bodies share the same mind -- at least at first -- but they must switch off every other week while the other one stays comatose in a secret chamber. Eventually, unfortunately, the younger and older versions of Elisabeth see themselves as separate entities, and jealousy ensues -- and lots worse! 

Margaret Qualley

The Substance is hardly the first movie to deal with age discrimination, or to deal with a woman who takes outrageous steps to become younger and faces dire consequences because of it. The Leech Woman and Countess Dracula are only two that come to mind. (The Manitou also presented a woman with a tumor inside her back that turns out to be a malignant human being.) Just like those others, the characterization in The Substance is kind of thin. Therefore what we've got left is an admittedly entertaining black comedy that pulls you in after a slow start. The performances are broad but good -- this includes Gore Abrahms as Oliver -- and the cinematography (Benjamin Crakun) is outstanding. 

Work out!

Two questions remain. The younger version of Elisabeth apparently doesn't actually look that much like her or people would wonder if she were her own daughter, which never happens. Secondly, there is never any talk of financial terms when Elisabeth makes her deal with the devil (so to speak) -- surely this incredible and weird procedure would cost a lot. Of course, these things don't really matter when you consider that The Substance proceeds like a very dark fairy tale and works fairly well on that level. The riotous over-the-top climax goes on too long -- the whole movie is too long -- and its coda is a little too cute. This was nominated for five Oscars, including Best Picture, Actress, and Screenplay, but not for cinematography, the only one it really deserves! The best scene shows Elisabeth preparing to go out on a date as her older self, trying one look after another, and then just giving up in despair. 

Verdict: Fun, gross, interesting, but not as original -- nor quite as good -- as one might imagine. ***. 

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

Jason Momoa as Aquaman

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM (2023). Director: James Wan. 

In this sequel to Aquaman, Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) has to team up with his brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson), getting him out of a horrible prison, when the threat of Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) again rears its head. Manta -- who blames Aquaman for his father's death and basically wants to hold everyone responsible -- finds an ancient trident and enters into an unholy alliance with a demonic figure, Cartex, from a lost kingdom called Necrus. Manta has also discovered an ancient fuel which long-ago Atlanteans realized was too dangerous, and now it is threatening the entire world, creating mutations such as giant bugs and man-eating plants, due to radiation. With the help of a nerdy scientist, Dr. Shin (Randall Park), the two brothers attempt to stop Manta before he can destroy Earth, both the surface world and the world beneath the waves.  

Black Manta

Atlantis has not yet revealed itself to the surface world at the beginning of the film, and most of the Atlantean council want to eradicate it, just as Orm does. Aquaman, of course, mightily objects to this. He does have other allies, however, including his mother, Atlanna (Nicole Kidman), wife Mera (Amber Heard), and his father Tom (Temuera Morrison), as well as some strange undersea creatures, many of which hang out in a sunken citadel full of odd talking fish-people. Then there's Topo, the cephalopod, a genetically-engineered octopus or squid who showed up now and then in the old Aquaman comics stories. There's also an adorable little baby boy, child of Arthur and Mera, who is kidnapped by Black Manta (who actually killed him in the comics, but not in the film). 

Brothers bond: Wilson and Momoa

One problem with the film -- for me at least -- is that in this Aquaman follows in the footsteps of Marvel's Thor and has been turned into a dopey comic figure. While the FX and photography are all first-rate, and the film is undeniably colorful, others have noted that it seems like a hodge podge of old ideas and different movies, turning into a mere empty spectacle that is good to look at, modestly entertaining, and ultimately forgettable. Hopefully I'm not giving too much away when I reveal that the two brothers are reunited and Atlantis reveals itself to the world at large in the finale. One hopes this doesn't mean there will be a third Aquaman movie.

Verdict: Okay if you're in a silly mood. **1/4. 

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN

Jeff Richards and John Smith

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN (1959). Director: Frank Tuttle. Colorized.

Radio commentator Mark Bradley (Jeff Richards) and his pilot Joe Walker (John Smith of Hot Rod Girl) run into engine trouble and make a landing on what appears to be a deserted island. However, there are several occupants, including three beautiful women: Venus (Venetia Stevenson of The Big Night); Urana (Diane Jergens); and Mercuria (June Blair). Their father, Dr. Paul Lujan (Alan Napier of The Mole People) ran away from the world with his now-dead wife and small daughters because he could see what was coming, as he was an associate of Einstein's and an expert in nuclear fission. When the two men discover who he is, Bradley wants to break the story of the missing scientist when he gets back to civilization, only Lujan wants to hold them prisoner. After Lujan destroys their plane with a flame-thrower gun, Mark and Joe concoct a plan to build a raft and leave the island. But then the gals want to go with them ... 

John Smith with the women

Island of Lost Women is a mediocre timewaster with an interesting premise, but not that much is done with it. The performances are all competent, although Richards has been seen to better advantage elsewhere, and the talented Venetia Stevenson is pretty much wasted. John Smith makes a better impression, even if he's getting by mostly on charm. The other gals are cute and Napier does the best he can with an under-written and rather sappy role. This reminds one a bit of Fire Maidens of Outer Space -- a father and daughters in an isolated habitat -- but even that was more fun than this!

Verdict: At least there's a rather good-looking cast! **. 

THE SQUEAKER

Gunter Pfitzmann and Heinz Drache

THE SQUEAKER (aka Der Zinker/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

In London a criminal mastermind called the Snake is being pursued by Inspector Elford (Heinz Drache). The Snake seems to somehow be involved with a zoo managed by Frank Sutton (Gunter Pfitzmann), who receives a threatening letter from the Snake. Sutton's fiancee, Beryl (Barbara Rutting), is a mystery writer as well as the niece of the lovably eccentric Nancy Mulford (Agnes Windeck), who owns the zoo and lives in a sprawling mansion. Other characters include newspaper publisher Sir Geoffrey (Siegfried Schurenberg); his mincing if hetero reporter, Harras (Eddi Arent); Millie Trent (Inge Langen), Sutton's strangely hostile secretary; and the skulking Krishna (Klaus Kinski), who carries out much of the Snake's dirty work. 

Drache with Agnes Windeck

The Squeaker takes a while to get going and some viewers may want to give up on it after about half an hour of relative tedium. But eventually the movie becomes rather lively, with some creative deaths, prowling tigers, weird weapons, and quite a few slithering reptiles, as well as an interesting climax wherein the eccentric old lady -- who has her own axe to grind -- confronts the Snake in her dining room. The villain's identity may or may not come as a surprise, although it's telegraphed towards the end. The cast is game, with Agnes Windeck really scoring as the old lady, but Eddi Arent -- who gives virtually the same unfunny performance in every single movie -- is incredibly irritating.  

Verdict: Yet another West German Edgar Wallace adaptation which is not without interest. **1/2. 

THE SCREAMING SKULL

John Hudson and Peggy Webber

THE SCREAMING SKULL (1958). Director: Alex Nichol. Colorized. 

Eric Whitlock (John Hudson) brings his new wife, Jenni (Peggy Webber), home to his estate where his first wife died in an accident. Insecure and neurotic, Jenni has spent time in a sanitarium -- and not just for a rest cure. Now she begins seeing a skull lying and even moving about when no one else is around. Eric suspects the culprit is the simple-minded caretaker and gardener, Mickey (Alex Nicol, who also directed), but he denies all. Jenni wonders if she should just pack it in and head back to the nuthouse ...

Webber with Alex Nichol

The plot isn't much in this standard thriller, but it's well acted, competently directed by Nicol, and well-photographed by Floyd Crosby, who did a lot of work for Roger Corman (including Attack of the Crab Monsters). John Hudson was the twin brother of William Hudson of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman fame. Although not especially attractive by conventional Hollywood standards, Webber was a very talented actress and acquits herself admirably in this pot-boiler. Nicol isn't always convincing as a simpleton, but he generally gets it across. The story mixes touches of the supernatural with a heinous human plot but this approach doesn't always blend well.    

Verdict: Good performances help put this over but it isn't that memorable. **1/4. 

EYE ON SCIENCE FICTION

EYE ON SCIENCE FICTION: 20 Interviews with Classic SF and Horror Filmmakers. Tom Weaver. McFarland; 2003.  

Tom Weaver has put together a number of collections of interviews of people involved with horror/sci fi films of the past, and this is one of the very best. The great cover features a shot of the "cyclops" inside the alien spaceship in The Atomic Submarine. Inside are interviews with producer Herman Cohen (who describes poor Barbara Payton with a vulgar term); Mike Connors of Mannix and several B movies; Arnold Drake discussing his screenplay for The Flesh Eaters; David Hedison giving his frank opinion of his series Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; Brett Halsey discussing his career in both American films and Italian giallo pictures; John Hart, who played both the Lone Ranger and Captain Africa; William Wellman Jr. on the lost Macumba Love; and others. 

Verdict: If you're like me, you'll devour this book practically in one sitting. ***1/2. 

SMILE BEFORE DEATH

Silvano Tranquilli and Rosalba Neri

SMILE BEFORE DEATH (aka Il sorriso della iena/1972). Director: Silvio Amadio. 

After her mother Dorothy's supposed suicide, teenager Nancy Thompson (Jenny Tamburi) leaves school and comes home, where she meets her late mother's photographer friend, Gianna (Rosalba Neri of The French Sex Murders), and her stepfather, Marco (Silvano Tranquilli of The Slasher ... is the Sex Maniac). The housekeeper Madga (Dana Ghia) knows that Dorothy (Zora Gheorgieva) wanted to divorce the greedy, philandering Marco and had taken a lover of her own (Hiram Keller of Fellini Satyricon). Nancy develops an attraction for her stepfather which he does nothing to discourage, and then seems to make a play for Gianna. Nancy tells Gianni that she thinks Marco murdered her mother and may be trying to kill her as well ... 

Dana Ghia and Jenny Tamburi

Smile Before Death has a twisty and interesting script and some good performances but is nearly done in by very listless direction and a score that could best be described as hideous. The first half of the film is relatively uneventful and tedious, but there are clever developments in the second half. The main twist at the end of the film is kind of silly, but there's a highly satisfying coda afterwards. As usual, there's a brief lesbian love sequence. At least the script is fairly unpredictable.   

Verdict: Half of a good movie. **1/4. 

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA

Jonathan Majors as Kang

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA (2023). Director: Peyton Reed. 

Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), his mentor Henry Pym (Michael Douglas), Pym's wife Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer), their daughter Hope/the Wasp (Evangeline Lilly) and Lang's daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) are pulled into the weird microscopic quantum zone that Janet escaped from (in Ant-Man and the Wasp) when Cassie uses a device to explore that world without actually entering it. Unfortunately, a dictator named Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors) is alerted to this signal because he ultimately wants to escape from the zone, which he has taken over. Lang's adversary from the first Ant-Man, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) has been turned into the killing machine MODOK, which is basically an enormous head in a flying chair with weaponry. Will the combined efforts of the ant team be enough to stop someone as deadly and powerful as Kang?

Corey Stoll as big-headed MODOK

Quantumania is certainly colorful and there are, as usual, some wonderful effects, but the whole thing is a strange combination of the grim and the campy, a combination that generally doesn't work that well. Ant-Man himself seems almost lost in the miasma with not only the other characters to contend with but all of the weird figures of the Quantum Zone as well, one of which is very well-played by Bill Murray. Although Kang at first does not come off like the character in Marvel comics -- and not just because of the racial switch -- eventually Jonathan Majors is quite impressive as an alternate Kang -- he is a wonderful actor who gives the most notable performance in the film. He wisely underplays through most of the movie, saving his fiery outbursts for the climax. 

Lilly, Rudd, Newton

There is some inventive stuff in the Quantum Zone, such as living buildings that walk around on giant legs, and an aircraft whose controls are also alive, exuding funnels which engulf Pym's arms so he can fly the plane. The performances are all good, although the character of Cassie is irritating and unnecessary. The score is full of those majestic, triumphant tones that ring hollow in a film that is rather silly all told. Still, older children may find it entertaining. 

Verdict: A far cry from those charming old Ant-Man stories in Tales to Astonish. **1/4. 

THE MAN WITH THE GLASS EYE

Narzib Sokatscheff

THE MAN WITH THE GLASS EYE (aka Der Mann mit dem Glausage/1969). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

A man is stabbed to death in his hotel room where a glass eye is found, and his lover, a dancer, is later poisoned via two needles in her mask. Inspector Perkins (Horst Tappert) investigates and is assisted by Sgt. Pepper (Stefan Behrens), a relative buffoon. This incredibly convoluted Edgar Wallace-based story bounces from a theater where the "Las Vegas Girls" are performing -- along with a knife thrower and a ventriloquist with a huge, ugly dummy -- to a billiards parlor which is a front for a white slavery gang allegedly run by the "Boss" (Narzib Sokatscheff), who has a glass eye. There is also Lord Bruce (Fritz Webber), whose monster-mother Lady Sheringham (a vivid Friedel Schuster) objects to his relationship with another dancer named Yvonne (Karin Hubner). Of course Sir Arthur (Hubert von Meyerinck) and his assistant Mabel (Ilse Page) of Scotland Yard are along for the ride.  

Friedel Schuster

The Man with the Glass Eye actually has an interesting plot once you decipher what's going on, but the execution is generally dismal. Many of these West German Wallace flicks lay on the humor too thickly, and this production is one of the worst offenders -- the tone of the whole thing is just plain stupid. What makes it worse is that the forced prostitution angle is rather grim and at complete odds with the general ambiance. There are a few interesting bits throughout the running time but the movie only really comes alive in the final twenty minutes or so, once we meet the sinister Lady Sheringham and learn her true relationship with Yvonne, who knew her years before. The climactic sequence between the nasty old lady and the actual killer aboard ship is well-done. Behrens as the comedy relief is given an awful dubbed voice like something out of a cartoon, but otherwise he doesn't seem as irritating as Eddi Arent who appeared in many other krimi movies. This was the last of director Alfred Vohrer's Wallace adaptations. 

Verdict: A good story nearly ruined by too many silly characters. **. 

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU

Christopher Lee as Fu Manchu

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU (1969). Director: Jess (Jesus) Franco. 

The diabolical Chinese doctor Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) has developed a new weapon with which he intends to blackmail the world. Unless his (unspecified) demands are met, he will turn the world's oceans into "one gigantic block of ice." He demonstrates this weapon by destroying an ocean liner (in scenes that are lifted from the British film about the Titanic disaster, A Night to Remember. In another sequence stock footage from a different UK film shows a damn being destroyed and some workers who offended Fu being drowned). Fu offers an alliance with a Turkish criminal named Omar Pasha (Jose Manuel Martin) because he desires huge amounts of opium. Fu betrays Pasha and takes over the castle in Istanbul where the opium is stored. In the meantime Fu kidnaps Dr. Kessler (Gunther Stoll) and his associate Ingrid (Maria Perschy of Die Slowly, You'll Enjoy It More) so they can perform a heart transplant on the dying Professor Heracles (Gustavo Re) because Fu requires his expertise. Naturally Nayland Smith (Richard Greene) -- teamed up with Omar Pasha -- decides to storm the castle, so to speak, and put an end to the nefarious efforts of Fu Manchu. 

Lee, Stoll and Perschy

All of these various elements could have resulted in a perfectly good Fu film, but after a while one gets tired waiting for any kind of memorable sequence. This low-budget opus, helmed by the generally hapless Jess Franco, holds the attention in a limited way but never bursts out into any genuine excitement despite the occasional gunplay and other kinds of action. Fu's army of presumably highly-trained killers, called dacoits, are so inept that they are easily defeated by characters who have no kind of training at all! Lee and Greene are professional; Howard Marion-Crawford plays Smith's crony Dr. Petrie as a bumbler; Rosalba Neri (of Smile Before Death) is good as Omar's girlfriend, Lisa; and Tsai Chin is vivid as Fu's nasty daughter, Lin Tang. At least Castle does a fairly good job of maintaining a period atmosphere, and the locations are effective. The prologue of the film simply re-uses the climax of The Brides of Fu Manchu even though it is a different weapon and completely different sequence! Jess Franco also directed Night of the Skull and many others.

Verdict: Poor Fu deserves much better! **. 

THE INDIAN SCARF

Klaus Kinski and Heinz Drache

THE INDIAN SCARF (aka Das indische Tuch/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. In widescreen "Ultrascope."

After Lord Lebanon is strangled in his castle, lawyer Frank Tanner (Heinz Drache) gathers the relatives in the dining room and reads the first of two wills. They all must stay together in the castle for several days before they can hear the details of the final will, or forfeit their inheritance. As an unknown figures goes about strangling virtually the entire cast with the title object, Tanner tries to figure out which of the household is homicidal: the hated American Tilling (Hans Nielsen); his shrewish wife (Gisela Uhling); the bastard Ross (Klaus Kinski); the butler Bonwit (Eddi Arent); the strange and hulking Chiko (Ady Berber); Lady Lebanon (Elisabeth Flickenschildt); her son, Edward (Hans Clarin), a classical pianist; or someone else? 

Elisabeth Flickenschildt and Hans Clarin

Like other West German Edgar Wallace adaptations, The Indian Scarf has a good (if rather familiar) plot, but its execution is mediocre. With its inappropriate musical score and flaccid direction, there are only a few arresting moments, but not a dollop of tension or major suspense, and with this storyline that's criminal. As usual the acting is good -- another vivid performance from Flickenschildt, for instance, and Clarin is quite effective -- and just as usual Eddi Arent nearly stinks up the whole production with his unsubtle allegedly comic approach. However, Siegfried Schurenberg is not cast as a police superintendent but as a victim for a change. An actress named Corney Collins is cast as the Lovely Young Lady and Alexander Engel is the reverend. Although the final scenes are quite well-done, there is a campy coda involving the benefactor of the will that may have you groaning. At least we do hear some nice classical music throughout the film, especially Chopin's "Fantasie-Impromptu" (popularized as "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows") although the jazzed-up version played over the credits is unfortunate. 

Verdict: Even absurd plots should be taken seriously if they're going to work. **1/2.

DEADLY MANOR

That great old house!

DEADLY MANOR (1990). Written and directed by Jose Ramon Larraz. 

A bunch of young people are trying to find a lake when a hitchhiker named Jack (Clark Tufts) tells them it's actually two hours away. Looking for a place to relax before continuing, Rod (Mark Irish) drives down a rutted lane until they come across what appears to be an abandoned old mansion. Outside the house is a wrecked and burned car that seems set up as if it were some kind of a shrine. Helen (Claudia Franjul) is convinced someone lives in the house and runs off in anger, while Jack kicks in the back door. Inside they find coffins in the basement, tons of dust and debris, huge cracks in the walls, and numerous photographs of an attractive young woman. Then the killings begin ... 

cast members of Deadly Manor

Deadly Manor may not be a masterpiece but it isn't as terrible as some would suggest. The young cast members are attractive if a touch amateurish at times, but there is some good work from Jennifer Delora as Amanda and the uncredited actor who plays Alfred. Greg Rhodes is the handsome dude playing Tony -- he figures in a sexy erotic dream sequence -- and Jerry Kernion makes an impression as the rotund, likable Peter. The characters are all likable, which makes the film easier to take as it slowly builds up suspense and a modicum of chills. The location of the old house -- which was torn down when filming was over -- is a major asset to the production, but one wishes the direction had been more inventive and skillful. An inexplicable scene has Tony finding pictures in an album of what appear to be a number of corpses, but he has no reaction to this despite the fact that most people would think they'd broken into the home of a serial killer. Kathleen Patane handles her "final girl" scenes with aplomb. Gore geeks won't want to bother with this film as it isn't terribly graphic. The screenplay for this is not at all bad. Larraz also directed Edge of the Axe.

Verdict: Despite flaws, this is an unusual and fairly worthwhile entry in the slasher sweepstakes. **1/2.  

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND

The Blue Hand zeroes in on a victim

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND (aka Die blaue Hand/1967). Director: Alfred Vohrer.  

Dave Emerson (Klaus Kinski), who has a twin brother named Richard, claims that he was wrongfully convicted of murdering the family gardener and escapes from an institution run by the weird Dr. Mangrove (Carl Lange of The Fellowship of the Frog). Inspector Craig (Harald Leipnitz of The Brides of Fu Manchu) realizes that Dave has taken Richard's place, but feels he is telling the truth, despite the misgivings of Sir John (Siegfried Schurenberg) of Scotland Yard. Meanwhile an unknown figure in a cloak and hood who wears a blue glove with spikes on it runs about the Emerson castle killing the relatives of an appalled Lady Emerson (Ilse Steppat of The Sinister Monk). Her stepdaughter, Myrna (Diana Korner) is kidnapped and taken to Mangrove's asylum, where she faces an assortment of mice and snakes unless she signs certain papers. But who is the sinister "boss" who not only gives orders to Mangrove -- who is paid to put sane wealthy people away to steal their money -- but to the homicidal Blue Hand as well?

Ilse Steppat and Klaus Kinski

The Blue Hand is another convoluted Edgar Wallace story which remains a bit confusing but generally explains most of what's going on at the end. Kinski, who played supporting roles in many of these films, practically has the lead, and is quite good as the twins. Also noteworthy is Ilse Steppat, most famous for her role as Irma Bunt in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. (Sadly she died at only 52 after making that movie.) Albert Bessler makes an impression as the butler, Anthony, who always seems to be around just when you need him. The mastermind behind all of the goings-on isn't revealed until practically the last moment. 

Verdict: Weird, colorful, amusing -- and confusing -- Edgar Wallace concoction. **1/2. 

BARE BONES # 20

 

bare bones # 20 Winter 2024 - 2025. Edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri. 

This is it! A huge, super-sized special issue for a measly $14.95!

To quote from the back cover, in this issue you will find: 

"*William Schoell turns on the lights and sirens for Code 3.
*A look at the Doomed Professional in film by Larry Blamire.
*J. Charles Burwell on Steve Frazee’s vision of the west.
*Joseph Wambaugh on screen by Derek Hill.
*Jack Seabrook untangles the lost TV show, The Web.
*The Weird Tales of Not at Night by Stefan Dziemianowicz.
*Tim Lucas explores the crime quickies of Montgomery Tully.
*More Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine coverage by Richard Krauss.
*Duane Swierczynski spotlights Robert Edmond Alter in his Field Guide to L.A. Pulp.
*Night of the Living Dead and more, as seen on Bay Area TV by John Scoleri.
*Peter Enfantino is back in Sleaze Alley.
*The Search for New Grails in David J. Schow’s R&D column."

You can order your copy direct from amazon.