THE SUBSTANCE

Demi Moore

THE SUBSTANCE (2024). Written and directed by Coralie Fargeat. 

Elisabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore of Parasite) has a very popular exercise program but boss Harvey (Dennis Quiad) thinks she's grown too old and has to be replaced. A certain doctor lets Elisabeth know about a new, highly secretive procedure that she might be interested in. Via injections and other outre methods, Elisabeth winds up growing a younger version of herself (Margaret Qualley) out of her own back. Apparently these two bodies share the same mind -- at least at first -- but they must switch off every other week while the other one stays comatose in a secret chamber. Eventually, unfortunately, the younger and older versions of Elisabeth see themselves as separate entities, and jealousy ensues -- and lots worse! 

Margaret Qualley

The Substance is hardly the first movie to deal with age discrimination, or to deal with a woman who takes outrageous steps to become younger and faces dire consequences because of it. The Leech Woman and Countess Dracula are only two that come to mind. (The Manitou also presented a woman with a tumor inside her back that turns out to be a malignant human being.) Just like those others, the characterization in The Substance is kind of thin. Therefore what we've got left is an admittedly entertaining black comedy that pulls you in after a slow start. The performances are broad but good -- this includes Gore Abrahms as Oliver -- and the cinematography (Benjamin Crakun) is outstanding. 

Work out!

Two questions remain. The younger version of Elisabeth apparently doesn't actually look that much like her or people would wonder if she were her own daughter, which never happens. Secondly, there is never any talk of financial terms when Elisabeth makes her deal with the devil (so to speak) -- surely this incredible and weird procedure would cost a lot. Of course, these things don't really matter when you consider that The Substance proceeds like a very dark fairy tale and works fairly well on that level. The riotous over-the-top climax goes on too long -- the whole movie is too long -- and its coda is a little too cute. This was nominated for five Oscars, including Best Picture, Actress, and Screenplay, but not for cinematography, the only one it really deserves! The best scene shows Elisabeth preparing to go out on a date as her older self, trying one look after another, and then just giving up in despair. 

Verdict: Fun, gross, interesting, but not as original -- nor quite as good -- as one might imagine. ***. 

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM

Jason Momoa as Aquaman

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM (2023). Director: James Wan. 

In this sequel to Aquaman, Arthur Curry (Jason Momoa) has to team up with his brother, Orm (Patrick Wilson), getting him out of a horrible prison, when the threat of Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) again rears its head. Manta -- who blames Aquaman for his father's death and basically wants to hold everyone responsible -- finds an ancient trident and enters into an unholy alliance with a demonic figure, Cartex, from a lost kingdom called Necrus. Manta has also discovered an ancient fuel which long-ago Atlanteans realized was too dangerous, and now it is threatening the entire world, creating mutations such as giant bugs and man-eating plants, due to radiation. With the help of a nerdy scientist, Dr. Shin (Randall Park), the two brothers attempt to stop Manta before he can destroy Earth, both the surface world and the world beneath the waves.  

Black Manta

Atlantis has not yet revealed itself to the surface world at the beginning of the film, and most of the Atlantean council want to eradicate it, just as Orm does. Aquaman, of course, mightily objects to this. He does have other allies, however, including his mother, Atlanna (Nicole Kidman), wife Mera (Amber Heard), and his father Tom (Temuera Morrison), as well as some strange undersea creatures, many of which hang out in a sunken citadel full of odd talking fish-people. Then there's Topo, the cephalopod, a genetically-engineered octopus or squid who showed up now and then in the old Aquaman comics stories. There's also an adorable little baby boy, child of Arthur and Mera, who is kidnapped by Black Manta (who actually killed him in the comics, but not in the film). 

Brothers bond: Wilson and Momoa

One problem with the film -- for me at least -- is that in this Aquaman follows in the footsteps of Marvel's Thor and has been turned into a dopey comic figure. While the FX and photography are all first-rate, and the film is undeniably colorful, others have noted that it seems like a hodge podge of old ideas and different movies, turning into a mere empty spectacle that is good to look at, modestly entertaining, and ultimately forgettable. Hopefully I'm not giving too much away when I reveal that the two brothers are reunited and Atlantis reveals itself to the world at large in the finale. One hopes this doesn't mean there will be a third Aquaman movie.

Verdict: Okay if you're in a silly mood. **1/4. 

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN

Jeff Richards and John Smith

ISLAND OF LOST WOMEN (1959). Director: Frank Tuttle. Colorized.

Radio commentator Mark Bradley (Jeff Richards) and his pilot Joe Walker (John Smith of Hot Rod Girl) run into engine trouble and make a landing on what appears to be a deserted island. However, there are several occupants, including three beautiful women: Venus (Venetia Stevenson of The Big Night); Urana (Diane Jergens); and Mercuria (June Blair). Their father, Dr. Paul Lujan (Alan Napier of The Mole People) ran away from the world with his now-dead wife and small daughters because he could see what was coming, as he was an associate of Einstein's and an expert in nuclear fission. When the two men discover who he is, Bradley wants to break the story of the missing scientist when he gets back to civilization, only Lujan wants to hold them prisoner. After Lujan destroys their plane with a flame-thrower gun, Mark and Joe concoct a plan to build a raft and leave the island. But then the gals want to go with them ... 

John Smith with the women

Island of Lost Women is a mediocre timewaster with an interesting premise, but not that much is done with it. The performances are all competent, although Richards has been seen to better advantage elsewhere, and the talented Venetia Stevenson is pretty much wasted. John Smith makes a better impression, even if he's getting by mostly on charm. The other gals are cute and Napier does the best he can with an under-written and rather sappy role. This reminds one a bit of Fire Maidens of Outer Space -- a father and daughters in an isolated habitat -- but even that was more fun than this!

Verdict: At least there's a rather good-looking cast! **. 

THE SQUEAKER

Gunter Pfitzmann and Heinz Drache

THE SQUEAKER (aka Der Zinker/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

In London a criminal mastermind called the Snake is being pursued by Inspector Elford (Heinz Drache). The Snake seems to somehow be involved with a zoo managed by Frank Sutton (Gunter Pfitzmann), who receives a threatening letter from the Snake. Sutton's fiancee, Beryl (Barbara Rutting), is a mystery writer as well as the niece of the lovably eccentric Nancy Mulford (Agnes Windeck), who owns the zoo and lives in a sprawling mansion. Other characters include newspaper publisher Sir Geoffrey (Siegfried Schurenberg); his mincing if hetero reporter, Harras (Eddi Arent); Millie Trent (Inge Langen), Sutton's strangely hostile secretary; and the skulking Krishna (Klaus Kinski), who carries out much of the Snake's dirty work. 

Drache with Agnes Windeck

The Squeaker takes a while to get going and some viewers may want to give up on it after about half an hour of relative tedium. But eventually the movie becomes rather lively, with some creative deaths, prowling tigers, weird weapons, and quite a few slithering reptiles, as well as an interesting climax wherein the eccentric old lady -- who has her own axe to grind -- confronts the Snake in her dining room. The villain's identity may or may not come as a surprise, although it's telegraphed towards the end. The cast is game, with Agnes Windeck really scoring as the old lady, but Eddi Arent -- who gives virtually the same unfunny performance in every single movie -- is incredibly irritating.  

Verdict: Yet another West German Edgar Wallace adaptation which is not without interest. **1/2. 

THE SCREAMING SKULL

John Hudson and Peggy Webber

THE SCREAMING SKULL (1958). Director: Alex Nichol. Colorized. 

Eric Whitlock (John Hudson) brings his new wife, Jenni (Peggy Webber), home to his estate where his first wife died in an accident. Insecure and neurotic, Jenni has spent time in a sanitarium -- and not just for a rest cure. Now she begins seeing a skull lying and even moving about when no one else is around. Eric suspects the culprit is the simple-minded caretaker and gardener, Mickey (Alex Nicol, who also directed), but he denies all. Jenni wonders if she should just pack it in and head back to the nuthouse ...

Webber with Alex Nichol

The plot isn't much in this standard thriller, but it's well acted, competently directed by Nicol, and well-photographed by Floyd Crosby, who did a lot of work for Roger Corman (including Attack of the Crab Monsters). John Hudson was the twin brother of William Hudson of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman fame. Although not especially attractive by conventional Hollywood standards, Webber was a very talented actress and acquits herself admirably in this pot-boiler. Nicol isn't always convincing as a simpleton, but he generally gets it across. The story mixes touches of the supernatural with a heinous human plot but this approach doesn't always blend well.    

Verdict: Good performances help put this over but it isn't that memorable. **1/4. 

EYE ON SCIENCE FICTION

EYE ON SCIENCE FICTION: 20 Interviews with Classic SF and Horror Filmmakers. Tom Weaver. McFarland; 2003.  

Tom Weaver has put together a number of collections of interviews of people involved with horror/sci fi films of the past, and this is one of the very best. The great cover features a shot of the "cyclops" inside the alien spaceship in The Atomic Submarine. Inside are interviews with producer Herman Cohen (who describes poor Barbara Payton with a vulgar term); Mike Connors of Mannix and several B movies; Arnold Drake discussing his screenplay for The Flesh Eaters; David Hedison giving his frank opinion of his series Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea; Brett Halsey discussing his career in both American films and Italian giallo pictures; John Hart, who played both the Lone Ranger and Captain Africa; William Wellman Jr. on the lost Macumba Love; and others. 

Verdict: If you're like me, you'll devour this book practically in one sitting. ***1/2. 

SMILE BEFORE DEATH

Silvano Tranquilli and Rosalba Neri

SMILE BEFORE DEATH (aka Il sorriso della iena/1972). Director: Silvio Amadio. 

After her mother Dorothy's supposed suicide, teenager Nancy Thompson (Jenny Tamburi) leaves school and comes home, where she meets her late mother's photographer friend, Gianna (Rosalba Neri of The French Sex Murders), and her stepfather, Marco (Silvano Tranquilli of The Slasher ... is the Sex Maniac). The housekeeper Madga (Dana Ghia) knows that Dorothy (Zora Gheorgieva) wanted to divorce the greedy, philandering Marco and had taken a lover of her own (Hiram Keller of Fellini Satyricon). Nancy develops an attraction for her stepfather which he does nothing to discourage, and then seems to make a play for Gianna. Nancy tells Gianni that she thinks Marco murdered her mother and may be trying to kill her as well ... 

Dana Ghia and Jenny Tamburi

Smile Before Death has a twisty and interesting script and some good performances but is nearly done in by very listless direction and a score that could best be described as hideous. The first half of the film is relatively uneventful and tedious, but there are clever developments in the second half. The main twist at the end of the film is kind of silly, but there's a highly satisfying coda afterwards. As usual, there's a brief lesbian love sequence. At least the script is fairly unpredictable.   

Verdict: Half of a good movie. **1/4. 

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA

Jonathan Majors as Kang

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP: QUANTUMANIA (2023). Director: Peyton Reed. 

Ant-Man/Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), his mentor Henry Pym (Michael Douglas), Pym's wife Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer), their daughter Hope/the Wasp (Evangeline Lilly) and Lang's daughter Cassie (Kathryn Newton) are pulled into the weird microscopic quantum zone that Janet escaped from (in Ant-Man and the Wasp) when Cassie uses a device to explore that world without actually entering it. Unfortunately, a dictator named Kang the Conqueror (Jonathan Majors) is alerted to this signal because he ultimately wants to escape from the zone, which he has taken over. Lang's adversary from the first Ant-Man, Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) has been turned into the killing machine MODOK, which is basically an enormous head in a flying chair with weaponry. Will the combined efforts of the ant team be enough to stop someone as deadly and powerful as Kang?

Corey Stoll as big-headed MODOK

Quantumania is certainly colorful and there are, as usual, some wonderful effects, but the whole thing is a strange combination of the grim and the campy, a combination that generally doesn't work that well. Ant-Man himself seems almost lost in the miasma with not only the other characters to contend with but all of the weird figures of the Quantum Zone as well, one of which is very well-played by Bill Murray. Although Kang at first does not come off like the character in Marvel comics -- and not just because of the racial switch -- eventually Jonathan Majors is quite impressive as an alternate Kang -- he is a wonderful actor who gives the most notable performance in the film. He wisely underplays through most of the movie, saving his fiery outbursts for the climax. 

Lilly, Rudd, Newton

There is some inventive stuff in the Quantum Zone, such as living buildings that walk around on giant legs, and an aircraft whose controls are also alive, exuding funnels which engulf Pym's arms so he can fly the plane. The performances are all good, although the character of Cassie is irritating and unnecessary. The score is full of those majestic, triumphant tones that ring hollow in a film that is rather silly all told. Still, older children may find it entertaining. 

Verdict: A far cry from those charming old Ant-Man stories in Tales to Astonish. **1/4. 

THE MAN WITH THE GLASS EYE

Narzib Sokatscheff

THE MAN WITH THE GLASS EYE (aka Der Mann mit dem Glausage/1969). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

A man is stabbed to death in his hotel room where a glass eye is found, and his lover, a dancer, is later poisoned via two needles in her mask. Inspector Perkins (Horst Tappert) investigates and is assisted by Sgt. Pepper (Stefan Behrens), a relative buffoon. This incredibly convoluted Edgar Wallace-based story bounces from a theater where the "Las Vegas Girls" are performing -- along with a knife thrower and a ventriloquist with a huge, ugly dummy -- to a billiards parlor which is a front for a white slavery gang allegedly run by the "Boss" (Narzib Sokatscheff), who has a glass eye. There is also Lord Bruce (Fritz Webber), whose monster-mother Lady Sheringham (a vivid Friedel Schuster) objects to his relationship with another dancer named Yvonne (Karin Hubner). Of course Sir Arthur (Hubert von Meyerinck) and his assistant Mabel (Ilse Page) of Scotland Yard are along for the ride.  

Friedel Schuster

The Man with the Glass Eye actually has an interesting plot once you decipher what's going on, but the execution is generally dismal. Many of these West German Wallace flicks lay on the humor too thickly, and this production is one of the worst offenders -- the tone of the whole thing is just plain stupid. What makes it worse is that the forced prostitution angle is rather grim and at complete odds with the general ambiance. There are a few interesting bits throughout the running time but the movie only really comes alive in the final twenty minutes or so, once we meet the sinister Lady Sheringham and learn her true relationship with Yvonne, who knew her years before. The climactic sequence between the nasty old lady and the actual killer aboard ship is well-done. Behrens as the comedy relief is given an awful dubbed voice like something out of a cartoon, but otherwise he doesn't seem as irritating as Eddi Arent who appeared in many other krimi movies. This was the last of director Alfred Vohrer's Wallace adaptations. 

Verdict: A good story nearly ruined by too many silly characters. **. 

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU

Christopher Lee as Fu Manchu

THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU (1969). Director: Jess (Jesus) Franco. 

The diabolical Chinese doctor Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) has developed a new weapon with which he intends to blackmail the world. Unless his (unspecified) demands are met, he will turn the world's oceans into "one gigantic block of ice." He demonstrates this weapon by destroying an ocean liner (in scenes that are lifted from the British film about the Titanic disaster, A Night to Remember. In another sequence stock footage from a different UK film shows a damn being destroyed and some workers who offended Fu being drowned). Fu offers an alliance with a Turkish criminal named Omar Pasha (Jose Manuel Martin) because he desires huge amounts of opium. Fu betrays Pasha and takes over the castle in Istanbul where the opium is stored. In the meantime Fu kidnaps Dr. Kessler (Gunther Stoll) and his associate Ingrid (Maria Perschy of Die Slowly, You'll Enjoy It More) so they can perform a heart transplant on the dying Professor Heracles (Gustavo Re) because Fu requires his expertise. Naturally Nayland Smith (Richard Greene) -- teamed up with Omar Pasha -- decides to storm the castle, so to speak, and put an end to the nefarious efforts of Fu Manchu. 

Lee, Stoll and Perschy

All of these various elements could have resulted in a perfectly good Fu film, but after a while one gets tired waiting for any kind of memorable sequence. This low-budget opus, helmed by the generally hapless Jess Franco, holds the attention in a limited way but never bursts out into any genuine excitement despite the occasional gunplay and other kinds of action. Fu's army of presumably highly-trained killers, called dacoits, are so inept that they are easily defeated by characters who have no kind of training at all! Lee and Greene are professional; Howard Marion-Crawford plays Smith's crony Dr. Petrie as a bumbler; Rosalba Neri (of Smile Before Death) is good as Omar's girlfriend, Lisa; and Tsai Chin is vivid as Fu's nasty daughter, Lin Tang. At least Castle does a fairly good job of maintaining a period atmosphere, and the locations are effective. The prologue of the film simply re-uses the climax of The Brides of Fu Manchu even though it is a different weapon and completely different sequence! Jess Franco also directed Night of the Skull and many others.

Verdict: Poor Fu deserves much better! **. 

THE INDIAN SCARF

Klaus Kinski and Heinz Drache

THE INDIAN SCARF (aka Das indische Tuch/1963). Director: Alfred Vohrer. In widescreen "Ultrascope."

After Lord Lebanon is strangled in his castle, lawyer Frank Tanner (Heinz Drache) gathers the relatives in the dining room and reads the first of two wills. They all must stay together in the castle for several days before they can hear the details of the final will, or forfeit their inheritance. As an unknown figures goes about strangling virtually the entire cast with the title object, Tanner tries to figure out which of the household is homicidal: the hated American Tilling (Hans Nielsen); his shrewish wife (Gisela Uhling); the bastard Ross (Klaus Kinski); the butler Bonwit (Eddi Arent); the strange and hulking Chiko (Ady Berber); Lady Lebanon (Elisabeth Flickenschildt); her son, Edward (Hans Clarin), a classical pianist; or someone else? 

Elisabeth Flickenschildt and Hans Clarin

Like other West German Edgar Wallace adaptations, The Indian Scarf has a good (if rather familiar) plot, but its execution is mediocre. With its inappropriate musical score and flaccid direction, there are only a few arresting moments, but not a dollop of tension or major suspense, and with this storyline that's criminal. As usual the acting is good -- another vivid performance from Flickenschildt, for instance, and Clarin is quite effective -- and just as usual Eddi Arent nearly stinks up the whole production with his unsubtle allegedly comic approach. However, Siegfried Schurenberg is not cast as a police superintendent but as a victim for a change. An actress named Corney Collins is cast as the Lovely Young Lady and Alexander Engel is the reverend. Although the final scenes are quite well-done, there is a campy coda involving the benefactor of the will that may have you groaning. At least we do hear some nice classical music throughout the film, especially Chopin's "Fantasie-Impromptu" (popularized as "I'm Always Chasing Rainbows") although the jazzed-up version played over the credits is unfortunate. 

Verdict: Even absurd plots should be taken seriously if they're going to work. **1/2.

DEADLY MANOR

That great old house!

DEADLY MANOR (1990). Written and directed by Jose Ramon Larraz. 

A bunch of young people are trying to find a lake when a hitchhiker named Jack (Clark Tufts) tells them it's actually two hours away. Looking for a place to relax before continuing, Rod (Mark Irish) drives down a rutted lane until they come across what appears to be an abandoned old mansion. Outside the house is a wrecked and burned car that seems set up as if it were some kind of a shrine. Helen (Claudia Franjul) is convinced someone lives in the house and runs off in anger, while Jack kicks in the back door. Inside they find coffins in the basement, tons of dust and debris, huge cracks in the walls, and numerous photographs of an attractive young woman. Then the killings begin ... 

cast members of Deadly Manor

Deadly Manor may not be a masterpiece but it isn't as terrible as some would suggest. The young cast members are attractive if a touch amateurish at times, but there is some good work from Jennifer Delora as Amanda and the uncredited actor who plays Alfred. Greg Rhodes is the handsome dude playing Tony -- he figures in a sexy erotic dream sequence -- and Jerry Kernion makes an impression as the rotund, likable Peter. The characters are all likable, which makes the film easier to take as it slowly builds up suspense and a modicum of chills. The location of the old house -- which was torn down when filming was over -- is a major asset to the production, but one wishes the direction had been more inventive and skillful. An inexplicable scene has Tony finding pictures in an album of what appear to be a number of corpses, but he has no reaction to this despite the fact that most people would think they'd broken into the home of a serial killer. Kathleen Patane handles her "final girl" scenes with aplomb. Gore geeks won't want to bother with this film as it isn't terribly graphic. The screenplay for this is not at all bad. Larraz also directed Edge of the Axe.

Verdict: Despite flaws, this is an unusual and fairly worthwhile entry in the slasher sweepstakes. **1/2.  

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND

The Blue Hand zeroes in on a victim

CREATURE WITH THE BLUE HAND (aka Die blaue Hand/1967). Director: Alfred Vohrer.  

Dave Emerson (Klaus Kinski), who has a twin brother named Richard, claims that he was wrongfully convicted of murdering the family gardener and escapes from an institution run by the weird Dr. Mangrove (Carl Lange of The Fellowship of the Frog). Inspector Craig (Harald Leipnitz of The Brides of Fu Manchu) realizes that Dave has taken Richard's place, but feels he is telling the truth, despite the misgivings of Sir John (Siegfried Schurenberg) of Scotland Yard. Meanwhile an unknown figure in a cloak and hood who wears a blue glove with spikes on it runs about the Emerson castle killing the relatives of an appalled Lady Emerson (Ilse Steppat of The Sinister Monk). Her stepdaughter, Myrna (Diana Korner) is kidnapped and taken to Mangrove's asylum, where she faces an assortment of mice and snakes unless she signs certain papers. But who is the sinister "boss" who not only gives orders to Mangrove -- who is paid to put sane wealthy people away to steal their money -- but to the homicidal Blue Hand as well?

Ilse Steppat and Klaus Kinski

The Blue Hand is another convoluted Edgar Wallace story which remains a bit confusing but generally explains most of what's going on at the end. Kinski, who played supporting roles in many of these films, practically has the lead, and is quite good as the twins. Also noteworthy is Ilse Steppat, most famous for her role as Irma Bunt in On Her Majesty's Secret Service. (Sadly she died at only 52 after making that movie.) Albert Bessler makes an impression as the butler, Anthony, who always seems to be around just when you need him. The mastermind behind all of the goings-on isn't revealed until practically the last moment. 

Verdict: Weird, colorful, amusing -- and confusing -- Edgar Wallace concoction. **1/2. 

BARE BONES # 20

 

bare bones # 20 Winter 2024 - 2025. Edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri. 

This is it! A huge, super-sized special issue for a measly $14.95!

To quote from the back cover, in this issue you will find: 

"*William Schoell turns on the lights and sirens for Code 3.
*A look at the Doomed Professional in film by Larry Blamire.
*J. Charles Burwell on Steve Frazee’s vision of the west.
*Joseph Wambaugh on screen by Derek Hill.
*Jack Seabrook untangles the lost TV show, The Web.
*The Weird Tales of Not at Night by Stefan Dziemianowicz.
*Tim Lucas explores the crime quickies of Montgomery Tully.
*More Mike Shayne Mystery Magazine coverage by Richard Krauss.
*Duane Swierczynski spotlights Robert Edmond Alter in his Field Guide to L.A. Pulp.
*Night of the Living Dead and more, as seen on Bay Area TV by John Scoleri.
*Peter Enfantino is back in Sleaze Alley.
*The Search for New Grails in David J. Schow’s R&D column."

You can order your copy direct from amazon.

THE HAND OF POWER

Death's Head: the killer laughs

THE HAND OF POWER (aka The Zombie Walks aka Im Banne des Unheimlichen/1968). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

In yet another West German film based on a novel by Edgar Wallace, laughter seems to come from the coffin at Sir Oliver's funeral. This unnerves his brother, Sir Cecil (Wolfgang Kieling of Our Man in Jamaica), especially when someone wearing a death's head mask, cape and hat starts running around poisoning victims via a ring shaped like a scorpion. As Inspector Higgins (Joachim Fuchsberger, as usual) investigates, there are several suspects: Dr. Brand (Siegfried Rauch of The College-Girl Murders); Potter, the vicar (Hans Krull); the stonemason Ramiro (Peter Mosbacher); nurse Adela (Claude Farell); the black chauffeur, Casper (Jimmy Powell); and others. Meanwhile reporter Peggy Ward (Siw Mattson) runs about alternately investigating and interfering. 

Siw Mattson and Joachim Fuchsberger

The film is introduced by a voice claiming to be (the late) Edgar Wallace. This is followed by an absolutely terrible theme song. The plot is very good and quite intriguing, but there's a surfeit of dumb humor, which greatly minimizes any tension. Instead of the buffoonish Sir John, we get the equally buffoonish Sir Arthur (Hubert von Meyerinck) giving Higgins his orders -- he is not only a ballet fan but tries out a few steps in the office. At least the annoying Eddi Arent isn't in the cast. 

Verdict: Good story; so-so execution. **3/4. 

OUTSIDE THE LAW

Grant Williams, Ray Danton, Leigh Snowden

OUTSIDE THE LAW (1956). Director: Jack Arnold. 

Johnny Salvo (Ray Danton) was paroled from prison into the Army, and is now offered a chance for a complete pardon if he cooperates with the United States Treasury. A murdered soldier he knew overseas was involved with a gang of counterfeiters, and Johnny is told to go see the man's widow, Maria (Leigh Snowden), and find out what, if anything, she might know.  Complications include the fact that Johnny must report to his own father, Alec (Onslow Stevens of Sunset Serenade), whom he hates; and a sinister man named Don (Grant Williams), who has too tight a hold on Maria.

Ray Danton and Onslow Stevens

Outside the Law sets up an interesting situation but doesn't do that much with it. The stock music from a variety of composers does its best to work up what amounts to minimal excitement  even though there are fistfights, beatings and gunplay throughout. Danton, Williams, and especially Stevens give effective performances, but Leigh Snowden [Hod Rod Rumble] makes less of an impression even in her tight sweaters. Johnny went to jail because he "smashed an old woman to pieces" while driving drunk, but -- the victim being old and female -- this is completely glossed over and only mentioned once. You keep thinking this will come up again and Johnny might express some remorse, but apparently he's only angry at his father for not doing more for him. A major confrontation between the two never develops, and the situations that do develop -- such as a fairly well-handled fight between Johnny and Don -- are predictable. Danton was 25 when he made the film but looks older, while Stevens, who was 54, doesn't look that much older than Danton. Jack Arnold also directed the much zestier Tarantula. 

Verdict: Forgettable minor film noir with some decent performances. **. 

THE CRIMSON GHOST -- IN COLOR!

The Crimson Ghost in costume

THE CRIMSON GHOST (12 chapter Republic serial/1946). Directors: William Witney; Fred C. Brannon. Colorized. 

The Crimson Ghost, as he calls himself, is one of the members of a scientific committee and is employed by a foreign government. The Ghost is after a "cyclotrode," a device which can "instantly stop any electrically-controlled mechanism," which he uses more than once. His nasty helpmates include Ashe (Clayton Moore of G-Men Never Forget) and Bain (Rex Lease), and the Ghost also employs special collars that sap the will of victims, force them to commit criminal acts, and can even kill them from afar. Aiming to stop him are Duncan Richards (Charles Quigley of The Iron Claw) and his efficient assistant, Diana (Linda Stirling of The Purple Monster Strikes).  

Quigley and Stirling

The Crimson Ghost is a whirlwind Republic serial with a generally good musical score and reasonably adept performances. The true identity of the Ghost is kept secret until practically the final minute of the serial. There are some decent cliffhangers -- a room fills with poisoned gas; a rope is cut, causing Duncan to fall towards the street below; a car smashes into the wall of a boathouse etc. -- although virtually all of them are "cheats," with the characters always jumping out of the way in the last second. However, this doesn't matter as the furious fisticuffs, the extreme nastiness of the villain, and the sheer fun of the serial makes it a winner. As usual, the color adds a new, welcome dimension. 

Verdict: Can't keep that Ghost down! ***. 

NIGHT WATCH

Elizabeth Taylor and Laurence Harvey

NIGHT WATCH (1973). Director: Brian G. Hutton. 

Ellen Wheeler (Elizabeth Taylor) is a neurotic wife who has already had one nervous breakdown and is haunted by the death of her first husband in a car crash. She lives with her husband, John (Laurence Harvey of Welcome to Arrow Beach), and has a house guest in best friend, Sarah (Billie Whitelaw). During one dark and stormy night, Ellen is convinced that she has seen a bleeding corpse in the abandoned manor house across the way, but the police find nothing. John and Sarah try to convince Ellen to go off for a rest cure, but Ellen has something else in mind ...

Taylor with Billie Whitelaw

Based on a play by Lucille Fletcher of Sorry, Wrong Number fame, Night Watch is one of those thrillers that initially seems to have a good and unexpected twist until you really start to think about it. Even Agatha Christie might have had trouble completely pulling it off, although it leads to an interesting and rather violent climax. (With only three major characters, there aren't too many directions in which this marital melodrama can go.) The ending is amusing, fun in its way, but far-fetched, and leaves quite a few plot holes when all is said and done. As for the acting, Harvey and Whitelaw come off best, and Taylor is typically uneven, the whining woman-child who would set most people's teeth on edge. The picture is second-rate in most departments, but reasonably absorbing.  

Verdict: More rain, thunder and lightning than you can shake a stick at! **1/4.    

AND NEVER LET HER GO

Mark Harmon and Kathryn Morris

AND NEVER LET HER GO (2-part 3 hour mini-series/2001). Director: Peter Levin. 

Anne Marie Fahey (Kathryn Morris) believes the stories that lover Thomas Capano (Mark Harmon) tells her about his failing marriage, but while she tries to break it off with him more than once, she keeps getting pulled back in -- this despite the fact that she eventually gets a nice boyfriend named Dan (Rick Roberts) and that Thomas already has a long-time mistress named Christine (Rachel Ward). One day Anne completely disappears, alarming her siblings. Detective Gugliatta (Paul Michael Glaser of Phobia) and FBI agent Connolly (Steven Eckholdt) combine forces to try to find out if the self-assured Capano is behind his latest girlfriend's disappearance. Meanwhile Capano's mother (Olympia Dukakis) excoriates Thomas' brothers for not being more like Thomas even as the authorities move in ... 

Harmon with Rachel Ward

And Never Let Her Go is a true story based on the book by Ann "Ghoul" Rule. The telefilm is interesting, but it would have been much tighter if it had been cut by an hour -- the second half is especially talky and tedious at times. It is greatly bolstered by excellent performances across the board, however. Kathryn Morris is outstanding as Anne, and Harmon, usually a lightweight, really delivers in his portrait of the determined and sinister Capano. The members of the supporting cast, especially Dukakis and Ward, are also on the money. 

Verdict: Some top-notch performances put over this true crime drama. ***

 

THE INN ON THE RIVER

Joachim Fuchsberger and Brigette Grothum

THE INN ON THE RIVER (aka Das Gasthaus an der Themse/1962). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

A criminal mastermind known as the Shark is operating in and around a waterfront dive known as the Mekka Inn. The place is run by the shady Nellie Ochs (Elizabeth Flickenschildt of The Terrible People), whose niece, Leila (Brigette Grothum), works as a waitress there. Wearing a scuba outfit  and using a harpoon gun, the Shark dispatches his enemies and sends confederates out to pick up the bodies. Inspector Wade (Joachim Fuchsberger), who is strongly attracted to Leila, matches wits with her aunt while he tracks down the Shark and deals with his generally nasty associates. 

Elisabeth Flickenschildt

The Inn on the River has a typically convoluted Edgar Wallace storyline and one has to pay careful attention to keep track of who's who. The atmospheric locations of docks, sewers, and other underground chambers are the chief assets of the picture, along with the sharp performance of Flickenschildt, although most of the cast is pretty decent. Campy Eddi Arent is again drafted as comic relief and is as irritating as usual. Klaus Kinski plays the usual suspicion person who may or may not be a bad guy. The flick has terrible theme music.

Verdict: Some intriguing aspects but not entirely successful. **1/2. 

TRAP

Ariel Donoghue and Josh Hartnett

TRAP (2024). Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. 

Family man Cooper (Josh Hartnett) takes his excited teenage daughter, Riley (Ariel Donoghue), to a concert given by her favorite singer, Lady Raven (Saleka Shyamalan, the director's daughter). Noting the presence of an unusual number of law enforcement officials, Cooper learns that a trap has been set for a serial killer known as the Butcher, because the cops discovered that he will be attending the concert. Now the killer -- Cooper himself, as we learn early on -- has to figure out a way to get out of the concert venue without being captured. To that end he will use his own daughter -- and Lady Raven. But will the brave singer be able to save her own life, as well as that of the latest victim, which Cooper is holding captive? 

Harnett with Shaleka Shyamalan

Trap could have been a suspense masterpiece, but Shyamalan blows it. Others have noted that at times it comes off more as a showcase for Shaleka Shyamalan's singing ability than a serious thriller. The biggest problem is that while Shaleka has personality, she isn't much of an actress, and expecting someone so inexperienced to deliver in a difficult role like this is ridiculous. Hartnett, Donoghue, Alison Pill as Cooper's wife, Rachel, and even Hayley Mills, of all people, as an aged FBI profiler, are more on the money. 

Hayley Mills and Alison Pill

The shame of it is that Trap has an excellent premise and a strong story but it's done in by a flaccid  and rather frivolous directorial approach that strips the film of most of its suspense and virtually all of its tension. The lowliest slasher film has more energy. The film could also have been very moving in regards to the shocked members of Cooper's family finding out and having to deal with the unthinkable. (The ending sets up a sequel that will probably never materialize.) The illogical moments include scenes in which law enforcement seem impossibly incompetent. Shaleka's singing -- she sounds like hundreds of other singers -- is better than her acting, which isn't saying much. Her songs are acceptable, instantly forgettable pop ditties. 

Verdict: What the great Hitchcock could have done with this material! **1/4.  

DEVIL FISH

Michael Sopkiw, Dino Conti, Valentine Monnier

DEVIL FISH (aka Rosso nell'oceano/1984). Director: Lamberto Bava.  

In Florida a very strange creature -- a forty-foot combination of shark and octopus with the intelligence of a dolphin, a six-foot fanged maw, and which reproduces asexually -- is attacking ships and people. Dr. Hogan (Dino Conti) and his associate Stella (Valentine Monnier) team up with shop owner and diver Peter (Michael Sopkiw) and biologist Dr. Janet Bates (Darla M. Warner) to track and capture the beast. Sheriff Gordon (Gianna Garko) quite sensibly wants to destroy the sucker. An added complication is that there's skulduggery at the West Ocean Institute where Dr. West (William Berger of The Murder Clinic), his faithless wife, Sonja (Dagmar Lassander), and her psychotic lover, Davis (Lawrence Morgant), are keeping secrets about the monster, secrets that get several people murdered. 

Gianni Garko

A low-budget dubbed Italian production with an international cast all speaking their own languages with no CGI or great FX shouldn't work at all, but somehow Devil Fish has enough plot and suspense to keep you watching. Some of the mechanical FX, such as those large wriggling tentacles, are well-done, and at least one attack on a boat and its occupants is somewhat exciting. It isn't quite clear if the creature is a "living fossil" as suggested, or something created to, as one character puts it, "protect an exploitable area," although there's no further explanation -- or motivation -- for this. The actors all seem competent, playing some interesting characters. Possibly due to the editing of the film, important characters who are killed go unmourned by their colleagues and bedmates. You never get a really clear view of the monster, although it is along the lines of a whale with a big, grotesque head and trailing tentacles. 

Verdict: Sadly, there have been much worse Jaws-inspired movies. **1/2. 

THE BAT WHISPERS

Who is ... the Bat?

THE BAT WHISPERS (1930). Director: Roland West. 

A master criminal named the Bat uses acrobatic skills and cleverness to rob a safe in a high rise, then heads out of the city for a small town in the country. Feisty old Cornelia van Gorder (Grayce Hampton), accompanied by her hysterical, imbecilic maid Lizzie (Maude Eburne), has rented an estate from the owner, a banker named Fleming. Bailey (William Bakewell of Radar Men from the Moon), the fiance of Cornelia's niece, Dale (Una Merkel of The Kettles in the Ozarks), was accused of robbing the bank, and is hiding out at the estate pretending to be a gardener. Dale is convinced the missing money is hidden in the house (it is never quite made clear why) and searches for it even as the masked, skulking figure of the Bat does the same. 

Gustav von Seyffertitz and Chester Morris

It isn't long before the creepy old house is full of people -- suspects, cops, and potential victims. These include Fleming's nephew, Richard (Hugh Huntley); the sinister Dr. Venrees (Gustav von Seyffertitz); private eye Jones (Charles Dow Clark); the caretaker (Spencer Charters); Detective Anderson (Chester Morris of The She Creature); and others. The Bat Whispers, based on a stage play co-authored by Mary Roberts Rinehart, was filmed as the silent The Bat in 1926 and remade, also as The Bat, in 1959. The early sequences with the villain robbing the high rise may have influenced Bob Kane in his creation of Batman. 

Una Merkel, Grayce Hampton, Chester Morris

There are two versions of The Bat Whispers, one filmed in 35 mm and another in an early, discarded widescreen format. The picture has some inventive camera work and is rather stylish and even suspenseful at times, but it's also slow and has too much humor. Although Maude Eburne has her amusing moments, there is way too much of her and she nearly stinks up the picture with her not-so-hilarious antics. The other actors all do a good job with their roles. 

Verdict: "Modern" in some ways for its time but nowadays rather creaky. **1/4.