TRAP

Ariel Donoghue and Josh Hartnett

TRAP (2024). Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. 

Family man Cooper (Josh Hartnett) takes his excited teenage daughter, Riley (Ariel Donoghue), to a concert given by her favorite singer, Lady Raven (Saleka Shyamalan, the director's daughter). Noting the presence of an unusual number of law enforcement officials, Cooper learns that a trap has been set for a serial killer known as the Butcher, because the cops discovered that he will be attending the concert. Now the killer -- Cooper himself, as we learn early on -- has to figure out a way to get out of the concert venue without being captured. To that end he will use his own daughter -- and Lady Raven. But will the brave singer be able to save her own life, as well as that of the latest victim, which Cooper is holding captive? 

Harnett with Shaleka Shyamalan

Trap could have been a suspense masterpiece, but Shyamalan blows it. Others have noted that at times it comes off more as a showcase for Shaleka Shyamalan's singing ability than a serious thriller. The biggest problem is that while Shaleka has personality, she isn't much of an actress, and expecting someone so inexperienced to deliver in a difficult role like this is ridiculous. Hartnett, Donoghue, Alison Pill as Cooper's wife, Rachel, and even Hayley Mills, of all people, as an aged FBI profiler, are more on the money. 

Hayley Mills and Alison Pill

The shame of it is that Trap has an excellent premise and a strong story but it's done in by a flaccid  and rather frivolous directorial approach that strips the film of most of its suspense and virtually all of its tension. The lowliest slasher film has more energy. The film could also have been very moving in regards to the shocked members of Cooper's family finding out and having to deal with the unthinkable. (The ending sets up a sequel that will probably never materialize.) The illogical moments include scenes in which law enforcement seem impossibly incompetent. Shaleka's singing -- she sounds like hundreds of other singers -- is better than her acting, which isn't saying much. Her songs are acceptable, instantly forgettable pop ditties. 

Verdict: What the great Hitchcock could have done with this material! **1/4.  

DEVIL FISH

Michael Sopkiw, Dino Conti, Valentine Monnier

DEVIL FISH (aka Rosso nell'oceano/1984). Director: Lamberto Bava.  

In Florida a very strange creature -- a forty-foot combination of shark and octopus with the intelligence of a dolphin, a six-foot fanged maw, and which reproduces asexually -- is attacking ships and people. Dr. Hogan (Dino Conti) and his associate Stella (Valentine Monnier) team up with shop owner and diver Peter (Michael Sopkiw) and biologist Dr. Janet Bates (Darla M. Warner) to track and capture the beast. Sheriff Gordon (Gianna Garko) quite sensibly wants to destroy the sucker. An added complication is that there's skulduggery at the West Ocean Institute where Dr. West (William Berger of The Murder Clinic), his faithless wife, Sonja (Dagmar Lassander), and her psychotic lover, Davis (Lawrence Morgant), are keeping secrets about the monster, secrets that get several people murdered. 

Gianni Garko

A low-budget dubbed Italian production with an international cast all speaking their own languages with no CGI or great FX shouldn't work at all, but somehow Devil Fish has enough plot and suspense to keep you watching. Some of the mechanical FX, such as those large wriggling tentacles, are well-done, and at least one attack on a boat and its occupants is somewhat exciting. It isn't quite clear if the creature is a "living fossil" as suggested, or something created to, as one character puts it, "protect an exploitable area," although there's no further explanation -- or motivation -- for this. The actors all seem competent, playing some interesting characters. Possibly due to the editing of the film, important characters who are killed go unmourned by their colleagues and bedmates. You never get a really clear view of the monster, although it is along the lines of a whale with a big, grotesque head and trailing tentacles. 

Verdict: Sadly, there have been much worse Jaws-inspired movies. **1/2. 

THE BAT WHISPERS

Who is ... the Bat?

THE BAT WHISPERS (1930). Director: Roland West. 

A master criminal named the Bat uses acrobatic skills and cleverness to rob a safe in a high rise, then heads out of the city for a small town in the country. Feisty old Cornelia van Gorder (Grayce Hampton), accompanied by her hysterical, imbecilic maid Lizzie (Maude Eburne), has rented an estate from the owner, a banker named Fleming. Bailey (William Bakewell of Radar Men from the Moon), the fiance of Cornelia's niece, Dale (Una Merkel of The Kettles in the Ozarks), was accused of robbing the bank, and is hiding out at the estate pretending to be a gardener. Dale is convinced the missing money is hidden in the house (it is never quite made clear why) and searches for it even as the masked, skulking figure of the Bat does the same. 

Gustav von Seyffertitz and Chester Morris

It isn't long before the creepy old house is full of people -- suspects, cops, and potential victims. These include Fleming's nephew, Richard (Hugh Huntley); the sinister Dr. Venrees (Gustav von Seyffertitz); private eye Jones (Charles Dow Clark); the caretaker (Spencer Charters); Detective Anderson (Chester Morris of The She Creature); and others. The Bat Whispers, based on a stage play co-authored by Mary Roberts Rinehart, was filmed as the silent The Bat in 1926 and remade, also as The Bat, in 1959. The early sequences with the villain robbing the high rise may have influenced Bob Kane in his creation of Batman. 

Una Merkel, Grayce Hampton, Chester Morris

There are two versions of The Bat Whispers, one filmed in 35 mm and another in an early, discarded widescreen format. The picture has some inventive camera work and is rather stylish and even suspenseful at times, but it's also slow and has too much humor. Although Maude Eburne has her amusing moments, there is way too much of her and she nearly stinks up the picture with her not-so-hilarious antics. The other actors all do a good job with their roles. 

Verdict: "Modern" in some ways for its time but nowadays rather creaky. **1/4. 

THE BAT (1959)

The Bat pretends to surrender

THE BAT (1959). Director: Crane Wilbur. Colorized.  

Mystery novelist Cornelia van Gorder (Agnes Moorehead of Dear Dead Delilah) and her companion, Lizzie (Lenita Lane), are currently residing at the Oaks, an estate which is rumored to be haunted. A bigger problem is that a criminal known as the Bat -- who tears out victims' throats with metal claws on his gloves -- is also operating in the area, and wandering around the Oaks. The owner of the estate, John Fleming (Harvey Stephens), has stolen valuable assets from his own bank and pinned the crime on head teller, Bailey (Mike Steele). Dr. Wells (Vincent Price of House of a Thousand Dolls) takes advantage of this situation in his own inimitable style. Bailey's wife, Dale (Elaine Edwards of You Have to Run Fast), hopes to find the missing loot at the Oaks with the help of Fleming's nephew, Mark (John Bryant). Meanwhile the Bat is also hunting for the loot and kills anyone who gets in his way. Lt. Anderson (Gavin Gordon) does what he can to track down the Bat while new butler Warner (John Sutton) skulks about ... 

Moorehead with Price etc. -- WHAT'S with Agnes' dress?   

A remake of The Bat Whispers, this version is fast-paced and much more entertaining, with a highly interesting cast, which includes Darla Hood (from the Our Gang comedies) as the ill-fated Judy. Although not nearly as irritating as Maude Eburne in the earlier film, Lenita Lane, who talks through her nose, is still a bit annoying. Price is smooth and oily and altogether competent, and the other cast members acquit themselves nicely. When the identity of the Bat is revealed, one has to wonder why this character even bothered with the silly disguise, as it would have suited their plans much better to just walk around as themselves! Speaking of silly outfits, at one point Moorehead wears a dress with a balloon bottom that would have to be qualified as a "would you be caught dead in this outfit?" affair. The claws tearing out throats business was not used in the earlier version. The play this was based on was in turn based on the novel "The Circular Staircase" by Mary Roberts Rinehart. The play was filmed four times. 

Verdict: Not at all logical, but a lot of fun anyway. ***.  

THE HORROR OF BLACKWOOD CASTLE

Siegfried Schurenberg and Karin Baal

THE HORROR OF BLACKWOOD CASTLE (aka Der Hund von Blackwood Castle/1968). Director: Alfred Vohrer. 

"Everyone's dying here -- so inconsiderate!" -- Lady Agatha. 

Captain Wilson (Otto Stern) has died and his daughter, Jane (Karin Baal), has inherited his creepy old castle. As an insurance investigator, Connery (Heinz Drache of The Brides of Fu Manchu), tries to recover the stolen Amsterdam jewels, members of the late captain's crew are being killed by a hound outfitted with fake poisoned fangs -- are they also searching for the jewels which the captain might have stolen? In addition to the castle, much of the action centers on a rundown Inn managed by the feisty Lady Agatha (Agnes Windeck), whose guests are dropping like flies. Meanwhile Jane's avaricious long-lost mother, Catherine (Mady Rahl) shows up to see what she can get from her daughter's inheritance. Can Sir John of Scotland Yard (Siegfried Schurenberg) stop the murders and solve the case? 

von Berlepsch, Engel, Drache,

Usually in these movies Siegfried Schurenberg as Sir John pops up now and then to act the buffoon and gives orders to the detectives who are actually doing the investigating, but in Blackwood Castle he seems to be the chief investigator, which gives the whole film a comic or even campy -- or at the very least tongue-in-cheek -- tone to it which works against the suspense. (It's almost as if Schurenberg got so much screen time to make up for the absence of Eddi Arent, who generally plays the comic relied in these krimi films.) 

In any case, even though it comes together at the end, Blackwood Castle is a bit too convoluted for its own good. The movie is introduced by a voice claiming to be Edgar Wallace, and there is a terrible rock-like theme song. The actors, including Tilo von Berlepsch as Lady Agatha's brother, Henry, and Alexander Engel as Dr. Adams all give flavorful and adept performances. The hound (or hund) itself is not given that much to do, and the storyline is quite different from "The Hound of the Baskervilles." Pretty good ending to this. 

Verdict: Rather weird Wallace krimi that seems to go all over the lot. **1/2. 

THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU

Christopher Lee and Tsai Chin

THE BRIDES OF FU MANCHU (1966). Director: Don Sharp. 

In this sequel to The Face of Fu Manchu, the diabolical Chinese doctor (Christopher Lee of Alias John Preston) is kidnapping the daughters of prominent scientists so that he can force their fathers to work on a devastating weapon with which he hopes to conquer the world. His chief adversary, of course, is Nayland Smith (Douglas Wilmer), accompanied by Dr. Petrie (Howard Marion-Crawford), while Fu's assistants include his daughter Lin Tang (Tsai Chin), the faithful Feng (Burt Kwouk), and the quisling Nikki Sheldon (Harald Leipnitz of The Sinister Monk). Franz Baumer (Heinz Drache) takes the place of one of the fathers so that he can lead Smith to the Temple of Karna where the prisoners are held and Fu has the controls for his weapon. Fu succeeds in vaporizing one ship and all of its passengers -- we see little children playing on the boat deck before this happens -- and has set his sights on destroying all of the participants in a political conference unless he can be stopped ... 

Douglas Wilmer

With a wealth of material from Sax Rohmer's atmospheric, detailed, and suspenseful novels about Fu Manchu, it's a shame that the British films featuring the character are comparatively bland and tame. Sure, we have one poor woman thrown into a pit of vipers, but Brides has none of the outre creatures or torture devices employed by Fu in the books. The super-weapon the scientists develop is pretty lame, especially when you compare it to similar devices in spy movies of the period. As usual Fu himself is completely one-dimensional, where there was more substance to him in the novels. 

The "brides," Carole Gray, Rupert Davies

Brides is a step down from Face of Fu Manchu, which was also directed by Don Sharp. The only real period atmosphere is provided by the automobiles, and the film has little urgency or real excitement. As Nayland Smith, Wilmer is okay, but not as good as Nigel Green in the first film. Lee is also okay, but seems a bit disinterested, treading water -- he would get worse. An interesting, if under-developed character is Abdul (Salmaan Peerzada) who surreptitiously works against Fu Manchu and does his best to help the shanghaied ladies. Carole Gray plays Michelle, one of the women, and Rupert Davies is her father. All in all, it's just a bit bleh. 

Verdict: Acceptable but minor-league Fu film. **1/2. 

MYSTERY MOUNTAIN

Ken Maynard

MYSTERY MOUNTAIN (12 chapter Mascot serial/1934). Directors: Otto Brower; B. Reeves Eason. 

After her father's death Jane Corwin (Verna Hillie) wants to keep her transportation company going despite the competition from a new railroad that wants to tunnel through the nearby mountain. When a mysterious figure called the Rattler -- who wears a black cloak and glasses with a fake nose and mustache attached! -- begins acts of sabotage against the railroad, supervisor Frank Blayden (Edward Earle of Heartaches) blames Jane. Railroad detective Ken Williams (Ken Maynard) is called in to find out who the Rattler really is, and there are several suspects. The Rattler uses poison darts and other weapons against his enemies and to confound and confuse them puts on realistic masks of various people involved in the story. But can Ken ever unmask the Rattler?

The Rattler sneaks up on Breezy

Mystery Mountain is a fun if minor serial from Mascot, which almost always seems to have the villain using masks of his enemies and associates to cause dissension among the others. (A notion later stolen for the Tom Cruise Mission: Impossible movies.) Maynard, best-known as a big cowboy star (who was reportedly a real son of a bitch in real life), is more than competent as the hero, and Verna Hillie is both attractive and credible as the heroine. There is way too much of Syd Saylor as reporter and comedy relief Breezy Baker, who is as much screw-up as helpmate to Williams. Mystery Mountain can be both exciting and suspenseful, but it cries out for much more music. Another cast member is Ken Maynard's amazing horse Tarzan, who seems to be as smart as Roy Rogers' Trigger. B. Reeves Eason also directed Spy Ship. 

Verdict: Entertaining Mascot serial with good players. ***. 

THE SECRET OF THE BLACK WIDOW

Karin Dor

THE SECRET OF THE BLACK WIDOW (aka Das Geiheimnis der Schwarzen Witwe/1963). Director: Franz Josef Gottlieb.  

In London a tippling reporter named Welby (O. W. Fischer) angers his bosses by writing lurid articles about a series of murders. The victims are taken out by a poisoned dart that is fired by a blow gun and has a rubber spider at the end. The paper Welby works for is owned by a group of men who are the victims of the unknown killer. Years ago, these men were on an expedition in Mexico which discovered a horde of Aztec treasure -- their leader, Avery, was murdered. It turns out that a secretary named Clarisse (Karin Dor) is Avery's daughter, and suspicion soon falls upon her. Is Clarisse the Black Widow, or is someone else responsible for the deaths?

Klaus Kinski, O. W. Fischer

The Secret of the Black Widow is a West German thriller that for once is not based on a story by Edgar Wallace, although it's very, very much like something Wallace would come up with. In addition to Dor, the film is full of familiar faces from other krimi movies: Klaus Kinski as a mysterious man who appears now and then to get Welby out of danger; Eddi Arent as a bumbling public servant, the usual comedy relief; Werner Peters as Osborne, Welby's direct superior; and others. At times the film is much sillier than it needs to be, the climax is dragged out to a tedious degree, but there is some suspense and the true identity of the Black Widow is a bit of a surprise. Franz Josef Gottlieb also directed the similarly mediocre Curse of the Hidden Vault. 

Verdict: Acceptable West German crime thriller. **1/2. 

DANGER ROUTE

Diana Dors and Richard Johnson

DANGER ROUTE (1967). Director: Seth Holt.

British agent Jonas Wilde (Richard Johnson) has apparently had a License to Kill for quite some time, and wants out of the game. He has a girlfriend, Jocelyn (Carol Lynley of The Shuttered Room), and is partner with Brian (Gordon Jackson) in a boating business. He is given one last assassination assignment by his boss, Canning (Harry Andrews of What the Peeper Saw) and uses a lusty housekeeper named Rhoda (Diana Dors of Berserk) to gain access to his victim. A man named Lucinda (Sam Wanamaker) tells Jonas that he is being played for a fool. Then there's the beautiful Mari (Barbara Bouchet of The French Sex Murders), who claims to be the niece of another operative. Will Jonas survive to complete his mission? More importantly, will he survive to enjoy retirement?

Johnson with Carol Lynley

The same year that Danger Route was released Johnson -- who had a very, very long career -- starred as Bulldog Drummond in Deadlier Than the Male, a light-hearted spy spoof which was a hell of a lot more entertaining than this. Unlike the Bond movies, Danger Route is a "serious" spy flick, but it is also dull and confusing. Diana Dors briefly adds some spice as the housekeeper but she's not on-screen for long enough. At one point Jonas confronts his bosses wife (Sylvia Syms of Hostile Witness) and winds up collapsing onto the floor from a bleeding injury. In the very next scene two seconds later, Jonas and Mrs. Canning are on a train pretending to be husband and wife. There is absolutely no explanation for this, no reason for why the woman would go along with the deception. Was something left on the cutting room floor? Undoubtedly.

Johnson with Barbara Bouchet

Frankly, one can't work up much sympathy for Jonas' grim fate. Everyone around him turns out to be duplicitous, and different factions seem to be working against one another -- typical spy movie stuff and as senseless as usual. Sequences that are meant to be exciting only serve to break the poor audience out of the general tedium for a short while. Barbara Bouchet's character never really fits into the main storyline. Considering the mediocrity of the screenplay, Richard Johnson gives a better performance than anyone could have expected of him, but the movie is a genuine stinker. Producers thought seriously of casting Johnson as 007 for Dr. No, and he would have been good in the role. Jonas Wilde appeared in several spy novels that are said to be much better than this movie -- they would have to be!

Verdict: Spy cliches, confusion and boredom. *1/2. 

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FROG

The Frog: would you buy a used care from this man?

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE FROG (aka Face of the Frog aka Der Frosch mit der Maske/1959). Director: Harald Reinl. 

London is the locale of a sinister criminal leader known only as the Frog, who has hundreds of cutthroat agents in his employ, and who runs about decked out in a kind of ski cap with bulging bubble eyes. Richard Gordon (Joachim Fuchsberger), the nephew of Scotland Yard's Sir Archibald (Ernst Fritz Furbringer of The Curse of the Hidden Vault), is certain that the Frog is actually the supposedly dead master criminal Harry Lime, but whom is he impersonating when he isn't posing as the Frog? The Frog seems to have an unhealthy interest in the family of John Bennet (Carl Lange of Death in a Red Jaguar), especially his daughter, Ella (Elfie von Kalckreuth), but it's his son, Ray (Walter Wilz), who winds up framed for murder. Then there's the singer, Lolita (Eva Pflug), who seems to be working for the Frog but elicits his wrath in an especially brutal sequence involving a machinegun. Can Ray be saved before he's hanged, and will the Frog ever be unmasked? Inspector Elk (Siegfried Lowitz of The Sinister Monk) has a plan ... 

Matinee Idol: Joachim Fuchsberger

This is the very first of a West German film series based on the novels of Edgar Wallace that would eventually add up to nearly sixty movies (if you also include adaptations of novels written by Wallace's son as well as films clearly influenced by Wallace)! This one, directed by Harald Reinl -- who helmed many of the Jerry Cotton films starring George Nader, as well as Dr. Mabuse movies and The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism -- keeps things moving briskly in this initial entry. Handsome Fuchsberger would appear in many of the subsequent films, generally in a heroic role. Frog is fast-paced, entertaining, and amusing, although the whole business with Ray being arrested and convicted so rapidly seems more than contrived and downright weird. The biggest problem with Frog is that the identity of the master criminal seems obvious, at least to me, almost from the first -- he just sticks out like a sore thumb! Other characters include the cadaverous Maitland, Ray's boss (Fritz Rasp), and his kindly associate Johnson (Jochen Brockmann), as well as Eddi Arent as Gordon's comical butler, James. 

Verdict: Successful enough to engender a whole slew of krimi movies. **3/4.   

ALIEN ROMULUS

The monster moves in for the kill

ALIEN ROMULUS (2024). Director: Fede Alvarez. 

Rain (Cailee Spaeny) is a young woman who works for a mining corporation and wants out. Her constant companion is Andy (David Jonsson), a black android that has been programmed to protect her but is obviously damaged. Learning she has to stay in this dismal place for several more years, she agrees to flee to an abandoned space station with several acquaintances -- including Tyler (Archie Renaux), Navarro (Aileen Wu), Bjorn (Spike Fearn) and Kay (Isabela Merced) -- from whence they can hopefully reach another planet. Andy will be of much help as well. Unfortunately, the station is infested with the same deadly lifeforms as in Alien, and after being outfitted with a module from the android Rook (a digital Ian Holm), Andy is much more interested in protecting the interests of the corporation than he is of Rain's and the others ...   

Cailee Spaeny and David Jonsson

If you're looking for something completely different with Alien Romulus, be advised that you won't find that with this movie. A sequel to the original Alien, which occurs before that movie's other sequels (such as Aliens) this picture makes full use of all of the general tropes of this sci-fi/horror series. For the first 20 or 20 minutes you might think you're simply watching a remake of Alien, but fortunately the movie sort of goes in different directions with different, moderately interesting characters. Alien Romulus works not because it's original -- which it isn't -- but because it's well-acted, well-directed, has superior FX work, and several thrilling sequences -- the main reason to sit through one of these movies. The climax, which makes use of an alien-human hybrid (which is gross and scary) -- as did Alien: Resurrection -- is a decided highlight. 

Verdict: Entertaining and slick with some excitement and scares. ***.   

KING DINOSAUR

King Dinosaur licks his chops

KING DINOSAUR (1955). Director: Bert I. Gordon.

A new planet named Nova is orbiting around the sun, closer to the Earth than any other planet. A team of four scientists are sent by rocket ship to explore this new world. They are Ralph Martin (William Bryant), his fiancee Pat Bennett (Wanda Curtis), Nora Pierce (Patti Gallagher) and Richard Gordon (Douglas Henderson of Invasion of the Saucer Men). On Nova they discover that the planet is very Earth-like, but as Earth was during the prehistoric era. After encounters with an alligator and a giant ant -- which none of the four even remark upon -- they decide to explore an island and discover it is full of carnivorous monsters! A particularly hungry lizard, referred to improbably as a T-Rex -- hence "King" Dinosaur --  is hell bent on having them for a snack! 

Bryant, Curtis, Gallagher, Henderson

King Dinosaur was the directorial debut for Bert I. Gordon, Mr. BIG, who came out with several movies starring outsized monsters, such as Beginning of the End with its huge grasshoppers. King Dinosaur is not an auspicious debut by any means, but the movie has a certain zero budget charm to it. Although some of the musical score reminds one of a poor man's "Bolero," it whips up some suspense and excitement during the climax on the island. The sound FX are excellent, as they generally are in giant monster flicks. The actions of our heroes are at times inexplicable, and it's also hard to believe that an iguana -- I believe that's what King D actually is -- could beat a crocodile in a fair fight! Both Bryant and Henderson had a long list of credits. Patti Gallagher did only a few films, and Curtis, who was basically a singer, appeared only in this movie. 

     

Verdict: Low-grade monster flick is of interest to Mr. BIG fans. **1/4. 

JAMES BOND AND THE SIXTIES SPY CRAZE

 JAMES BOND AND THE SIXTIES SPY CRAZE. Thom Shubilla. Applause; 2024. 

Author Shubilla presents a no-frills history of spy movies  of the 1960s, beginning with 007, with chapters on Bond, other American agents such as Matt Helm and Derek Flint, spy movies that were not part of a series such as Agent for H.A.R.M., British spy films, eurospy films, Mexican spy films, and finally, TV shows dealing with secret agents, including Man from UNCLE and Mission: Impossible. This is essentially a just-the-facts kind of book -- the only critical notes come from snippets of contemporary reviews -- and it really doesn't say too much about the TV series. There is much more info on some of the individual films. Whatever its flaws the book is a fun read, and one can take notes on unseen movies that the reader may want to investigate. Shubilla only covers a small percentage of the incredible number of eurospy features, which could take up an entire book of its own. An annoying aspect of the book is that instead of using footnotes Shubilla lists his sources right in the text in a very weird fashion, almost as if this were a term paper (which it might have been)! 

Verdict: Entertaining if imperfect look at spy movies of the sixties. **3/4. 

GIRL WITH AN ITCH

 

Kathy Marlowe

GIRL WITH AN ITCH (1958). Director: Ronald V. Ashcroft. 

Hitchhiking Mari Lou Waverley (Kathy Marlowe) is picked up by Jake (Scott Douglas) and taken to a ranch owned by widower Ben Cooper (Robert Armstrong) to pick the crops. But Ben has other plans for Mari Lou and invites her to stay in his house, where they begin a relationship. Mari Lou also continues flirting -- and more -- with Jake, and makes a play for Ben's son, Orrie (Robert Clarke of The Incredible Petrified World), who wants nothing to do with her. Before long Ben is using the payroll to buy expensive clothing for Mari Lou and Orrie is having none of it. Does the scheming blonde have her hooks tight enough in Ben or will his son be a more formidable opponent than she can handle? 

Scott Douglas, Kathy Marlowe, Robert Armstrong

Kathy Marlowe was an eternal starlet with mostly uncredited bits and this was her one big, starring role, and she delivers. Unfortunately, not enough people probably saw the film to make much of a difference. Robert Armstrong of King Kong fame and Gang Busters gives a solid performance, as does Clarke as his concerned, angry son. Patti Gallagher of King Dinosaur plays Jake's girlfriend, Emma, and gets into a watery catfight with her at one point. Scott Douglas certainly makes an impression as Jake, although most of his credits were for TV shows. He was also a professional dancer and the long-time companion of a well-known male choreographer. While none of the characters are as well-developed as they should have been, Girl with an Itch is well-acted and absorbing.

Verdict: Entertaining minor melodrama with good performances. **3/4.  

DEAD BODY ON BROADWAY

George Nader and Heinz Weiss

DEAD BODY ON BROADWAY (aka Broadways Deadly Gold aka Todesschusse am Broadway/1969.) Director: Harald Reinl. 

FBL agent Johnny Peters (Hans Heyde) infiltrates a gang run by Joe Costello (Miha Baloh), but manages to hide the three million in gold they stole before he is murdered. Costello has his face altered, kills off the surgeons, and tries to get ahold of Peters' girlfriend, Cindy (Heidy Bohlen), thinking she knows where the loot is hidden. Having always suspected that her Johnny was on the side of the angels, she bravely decides to work with Jerry Cotton (George Nader) and Phil Decker (Heinz Weiss) as a decoy. Another player is wealthy Woody Davis (Horst Naumann), who runs his own gang and is also out to find Cindy -- and the loot. His niece, Alice (Michaela May), is innocently embroiled in the intrigue. 

Miha Baloh

This is the eighth and last in the West German Jerry Cotton film series starring George Nader as Cotton. As usual, it has a fast pace, a lot of running around, lots of fist fights and gun shots, and some exciting sequences, although it isn't the best of the series. Joe Costello is such an utterly loathsome villain that at one point he kidnaps a young boy, then later hands him a loaded grenade hoping to blow the child up -- fortunately Jerry saves the boy's life. Costello gets his just desserts but his death isn't nearly horrible enough. The flick, shot in West Germany, features second unit work in New York and Las Vegas, where Jerry takes a brief detour. Locations of shattered ruins, garbage-strewn back alleys, and dank tunnels add much to the atmosphere. Two times during the film Cindy sings one of the most dreadful pop numbers I've ever heard, "See You Later, Alligator." 

Apparently Nader was dubbed for these German productions, but fortunately his real voice is used for the English-dubbed versions. His performances as Cotton are always on the money, adding a soupcon of humor and style to his square-jawed characterization. German actor Weiss is never given as much to do, but is also effective. 

Verdict: The last of the sixties Cotton movies. **3/4. 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2024.

HAVE A GREAT DAY (AND DON'T EAT TOO MUCH) !

B MOVIE NIGHTMARE WILL RETURN IN TWO WEEKS WITH MORE NEW REVIEWS! 

LONGLEGS

Dakota Daulby and Maika Monroe

LONGLEGS (2024). Written and directed by Osgood Perkins.

FBI agent Lee Harker (Maika Monroe) is assigned to the case of a weirdo named Longlegs (Nicolas Cage) who somehow gets men to murder their families and then off themselves. As Lee and her boss, Carter (Blair Underwood), investigate further, Lee discovers that Longlegs' accomplice may be much closer to home than she realized. And what about that strange lifelike doll that's found under the floorboards in an abandoned home?

Nicolas Cage in another bad movie

The vastly overpraised and illogical Longlegs is almost like a travesty of a serial killer movie. It's hard to imagine that someone as nervous and neurotic as Lee Harker would ever have been made an FBI agent. Even if one accepts that Lee is a strange, moody person, it doesn't excuse the wretched and dull performance given by Ms. Monroe. Nicolas Cage -- yes, this is yet another lousy movie that the actor is in -- offers a perfectly okay stunt performance aided by tons of spooky make up. 

How did I get in this crap? Alicia Witt 

Alicia Witt, who once starred in slasher films like Urban Legend, is also okay as Lee's weird mother.  Although Blair Underwood from L.A. Law is now middle-aged, he still seems cute and baby-faced, but his performance is -- again -- okay. There are so many holes and implausible moments in the story that it's almost laughable, and the movie isn't good enough to enable the viewer to suspend disbelief. Osgood Perkins, the son of Anthony Psycho Perkins, does not betray much skill as either a writer or a director: the movie has no energy. The film's only saving grace is the atmospheric cinematography by Andres Arochi. Elvis Perkins' score has its moments as well. 

Verdict: For heaven's sake if Nicolas Cage is in the cast find another movie! *1/2. 

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

Godzilla

GODZILLA MINUS ONE (2024). Director: Takashi Yamasaki. 

At the very end of WW2 Koichi Shikishima (Ryunosuke Kamiki) is a Japanese kamikaze pilot who hasn't quite got the stuff. Landing on Odo Island where there is a regiment of mechanics, he and the others encounter Godzilla. Koichi is too scared to use his plane's arms to fire at the monster, and everyone but him and engineer Sosaku (Munetaka Aoki) dies. Returning to civilization and a shattered Japan, he hooks up with a young woman, Noriko (Minami Hamabe), who has rescued a little orphaned baby. Wracked with guilt over his cowardice, Koichi resists having a real relationship with Noriko, but they have much bigger problems when Godzilla -- now grown even larger and with an atomic-irradiated body that can shoot out devasting heat beams -- stomps through Tokyo. With no aid coming from any other country and a shattered government, survivors band together to come up with a way to destroy the monster, a plan in which Koichi will play a major role. 

Ryunosuke Kamiki

The original Godzilla film -- the 1954 Gojira -- was much more serious than the almost comical films featuring the monster that followed. This film follows in that tradition, and creates a host of interesting and generally well-developed characters for the viewer to get involved with. The film is too long, unfortunately, and the scenes with these characters may make some people impatient to see Godzilla in action. There aren't enough sequences starring the big guy but they are fairly exciting. This movie uses some of the martial music from the original film as well as Godzilla's classic metallic roar. 

Godzilla on the move!

Godzilla Minus One isn't campy like the American Godzilla with Matthew Broderick, but that film, despite its many flaws, was more entertaining and thrilling, with better FX work. (The FX for Godzilla Minus One won an Oscar!) Godzilla himself looks a little lumpy at times. Still, I have to agree that this flick is probably the best Godzilla film in years and is a vast improvement over a more recent American version and the dreadful Shin Godzilla. The movie also tackles Japanese attitudes towards death and dying. Oddly, the ending when certain principals are reunited may leave a lump in your throat!

Verdict: By reimagining the original Gojira, they have come up with something different. **3/4.  

TOO MUCH BEEF

Rex Bell

TOO MUCH BEEF (1936). Director: Robert F. Hill.

Rocky Brown (Forrest Taylor) owns the Wagon Wheels ranch and lives with his sister, Ruth (Constance Bergen). He realizes that steers which aren't part of his herd are being branded and placed with his own cattle. As Rocky was once falsely jailed for rustling, he is anxious to get to the bottom of this. To that end comes Johnny Argyle (Rex Bell) calling himself "Tucson Smith" as he investigates. Johnny romances Ruth as he interviews Rocky's gal pal Sheila (Marjorie O'Connell), drunk Tracy Paine (George Ball), Rocky's foreman Shorty (Jimmy Aubrey), railroad man George Thompson (John Cowell), and others. When a fellow named Dynamite (Lloyd Ingraham) is murdered, Rocky is framed for it -- Johnny goes into action and saves the day!

Constance Bergen and Forrest Taylor

In his day Rex Bell was a big western movie star, but he was probably more famous for being the husband of "It" girl Clara Bow. He is good-looking, with some charm, and a bare minimum of acting ability, at least in this very standard oater. The other cast members are a little more impressive, but the direction for this is slow, and except for one fist fight and some gun shots in the climactic courtroom scene, this is not too memorable a picture. Bell appeared in forty-three films, wrapping up his career with an uncredited bit in The Misfits in 1961. He and Bow were married for over thirty years until his death, which occurred when he was running for governor of Nevada. Forrest Taylor appeared in several serials, including the wonderful Manhunt of Mystery Island.     

Verdict: Rex is appealing in his way but the movie doesn't amount to much. *1/2. 

TOMORROW WE LIVE

Jean Parker, Rose Anne Stevens, Emmett Lynn

TOMORROW WE LIVE (1942). Director: Edgar G. Ulmer. 

Julie Bronson (Jean Parker of Lady in the Death House) comes home to her father, "Pop" Bronson (Emmett Lynn), who runs a cafe but is actually working for a gangster known as The Ghost (Ricardo Cortez). When the Ghost meets Julie he instantly decides that he must have her, but although she gets a little weak in the knees, she is in love with handsome Lieutenant Bob Lord (William Marshall), who has just enlisted. Besides dealing with competition for Julie's affections, the Ghost -- so-called because he's managed to cheat death more than once -- also must contend with a rival, Big Charlie, who we never actually see because he sends his henchmen to do his dirty work. Bob proposes to Julie, but there's a hiccup when she learns that the Ghost has something on her father that could send him back to prison.

William Marshall

Although released in 1942, Tomorrow We Live comes off like a movie made ten years earlier. It's not just that it's a cheap PRC production that was probably shot in two days with a budget of 10 cents, but that its script is creaky and the musical score hokey as hell. Aside from Parker and Rose Anne Stevens as waitress Melba, the acting is so perfunctory that it's as if the performers were handed their scripts right before they stood in front of the cameras. Both Cortez and Marshall have given much better accounts of themselves, such as in the film they teamed for five years later, Blackmail. Director Edgar G. Ulmer, who has also done much better work, films a lengthy fist fight entirely in long shot! Ultimately this is pretty dull.

Verdict: One of Ulmer's worst movies. *.  

THE STRANGE COUNTESS

Brigitte Grothum, Lil Dagover, and Eddi Arent

THE STRANGE COUNTESS (aka Sie seltsame Grafin/1961). Directors: Josef von Baky; Jurgen Roland; Ottokar Runze.

Margaret (Brigitte Grothum) receives menacing phone calls from a strange man (Klaus Kinski), is nearly killed on more than one occasion, and decides to accept a job offer from Countess Luana Moran (Lil Dagover) to become her new secretary. Margaret had previously worked for the countess' lawyer, Shaddle (Fritz Rasp), who importunes Inspector Dorn (Joachim Fuchsberger) to watch out for her as he feels she's in danger. This proves true even when Margaret arrives at the countess' imposing castle, and meets her son, Selwyn (Eddi Arent), the strange Dr. Tappan (Rudolf Fernau), and the oily Chesney Praye (Richard Haussler), among others. If a near-death incident on a collapsing balcony weren't enough, Margaret learns that Mary Pinder (Marianne Hoppe), a woman who served twenty years for poisoning someone, is her biological mother and is coming to work at the castle! Time to seek new employment, perhaps? 

Grothum with Joachim Fuchsberger

This is another West German thriller based on a novel by Edgar Wallace. With mysterious countesses and castles, sinister psychiatric clinics, and a hero who doesn't clue the heroine in as to what's going on and therefore manages to frighten her as much as the bad guys, Strange Countess betrays its thirties origins. While you may develop some interest as to why Margaret is on somebody's hit list, the movie never becomes gripping, although the actors are certainly game. Lil Dagover was a German actress who had a very long career and who appeared in the original silent Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. 

Verdict: Despite a dozen or so people running around in all directions this never becomes that interesting. **. 

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER

Mark Damon, Vincent Price, Myrna Fahey

THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER (aka House of Usher/1960). Produced and directed by Roger Corman. Screenplay by Richard Matheson. 

"It's just that he's highly overwrought, sir." -- Bristol. 

Philip Winthrop (Mark Damon of Naked You Die) follows his fiancee, Madeline (Myrna Fahey), back to her ancestral home where she lives with her strange, affected brother, Roderick Usher (Vincent Price of Twice-Told Tales) in a crumbling estate on a moldering, foggy acreage. Roderick suffers from an abundance of sensitivities, such as to noise and light, while Madeline is becoming unhinged, convinced she is on the verge of death. There is a great fear she will be buried alive, while the house crackles and a fissure in the wall grows ever wider and manservant Bristol (Harry Ellerbe) rubs his hands and worries ... 

The eerie Usher estate

Loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe's study of a highly dysfunctional family, Roger Corman's Usher is attractively produced, well-acted, and entertaining, albeit imperfect. Although the picture has a creepy atmosphere, it never quite develops into anything that would give it truly classic status. Price is good, and plays it in the way you would expect, while Damon is even better as Philip, playing a difficult role in just the right note. Les Baxter has written some good theme music -- which plays for several minutes on a black background with no visuals before the credit sequence -- but the chorus is rather hokey. Neurotic Roderick's paintings are quite well-done. In Poe's story the protagonist is an old friend of Roderick's and is not engaged to his sister, whom he has never actually met. Richard Matheson's script is faithful to the spirit of Poe's story if not the letter.  

Verdict: Fun and absorbing, but just misses being a real classic. **3/4. 

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS

Carnivorous rabbit on the rampage!

NIGHT OF THE LEPUS (1972). Director: William F. Claxton. 

Husband and wife scientist team Roy (Stuart Whitman of Tender Flesh) and Gerry (Janet Leigh) Bennett are called in to see what they can do about the population explosion of hungry rabbits that are destroying crops in Arizona. Rancher Cole Hillman (Rory Calhoun of Thunder in Carolina) is hoping the couple can come up with something that is ecologically sound. A test bunny escapes from the lab and before you know it there is a new breed of outsized, carnivorous, vicious and very hungry rabbits munching down on horses, cattle -- and people. Oops!

Inept scientists? Leigh and Whitman

Night of the Lepus is played perfectly straight, which is why I've always found it rather charming. There is no attempt to turn the rabbits into monstrously mutated horrors with gigantic fangs and claws -- they just look like bunnies -- but in spite of that the clever editing, close-up photography, and especially the eerie sound FX with squeals and the thumps of heavy footfalls give the rabbits a genuinely menacing aura at times and there are some creepy and suspenseful sequences. There are also hilarious scenes, such as when a cop tells a crowd at a drive-in theater that "there is a herd of killer rabbits heading your way."

Really big bunnies take after pitiful victim

The rabbits are described as being the size of wolves, but in most process shots they appear to be much bigger, at least man-sized, and more often as big as horses or even baby elephants. There are also a lot of shots employing miniature buildings, cars and trucks for the little darlings to play around in. DeForest Kelley of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country plays a friend of the Bennetts. Jimmie Haskell's score is spookily effective. While I can well understand why many people feel this is a terrible movie, I have to say I've always gotten a kick out of it! William F. Claxton also directed Rockabilly Baby.

Verdict: Bugs Bunny's least favorite movie. ***.