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THE MAD BUTCHER

Victor Buono

THE MAD BUTCHER (aka Lo srangoloatore di Vienna aka Meat is Meat/1971). Director: John (Guido) Zurli. 

Butcher Otto Lehman (Victor Buono) is released from a mental institution in Vienna in the care of his rather shrewish wife, Hanna (Karin Field). Otto has no interest in returning to their home, however, but prefers to stay in a room above his butcher shop so he can spy on the naked lady across the way. When he finally loses it and strangles his wife, he decides she might as well serve a purpose -- as Viennese sausages! Others who come afoul of dear Otto wind up in the same condition ... 

Brad Harris and Franca Polesello

Despite the title, Otto dispatches his victims with his hands around their necks, and the butchery that follows is kept off-camera. The Mad Butcher is essentially a grotesque black comedy, with everyone acting a little "off" as they would in a humorous movie. This includes eurospy and peplum hunk Brad Harris as a callous reporter from the Chicago Tribune who is, for unexplained reasons, in Vienna. He begins a relationship with Berta (Franca Polesello), a customer in the shop. The film appears to be a period piece, but from the production design you can't tell exactly which period . There are also precious few shots of the beautiful city of Vienna. The spritely musical score is in direct contrast to the events of the story, but somehow it suits the movie perfectly. As for Buono, he seems to be enjoying himself mightily, but the movie is nothing special.

Verdict: Skip the sausages when in Vienna! **1/2. 
 

THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW

Robert Forster

THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW (2020). Written and directed by Jim Cummins. 

John Marshall (Jim Cummins) of the Sheriff's department of Snow Hollow, Utah, has his hands full. Women are being horribly murdered and mutilated, and while he's convinced the perpetrator is human, his fellow officers think a werewolf is on the loose. His father, Sheriff Hadley (Robert Forster), refuses to retire when his heart condition may possibly kill him. And John's ex-wife and daughter are giving him problems. To make matters worse, he is an alcoholic who has fallen off the wagon, and a self-described "asshole."

Riki Lindhome and Jim Cummins

That is the biggest problem with The Wolf of Snow Hollow. Not only is the "hero" a semi-drunken jackass, he comes off manic, mentally-disturbed, and completely unable to function as a sheriff. To make matters worse, Jim Cummins' performance -- he also wrote and directed the picture -- is so awful and over-the-top that it all but ruins the movie. Cummins should either have cast someone else in the main role, or hired another director who would, hopefully, reign him in. His off-putting style might be appropriate for a Porky's style teen comedy, but not for a horror film, even one that is a bit on the "lighter side." There have been screwed-up sheriffs in thrillers before, but the one in this flick is way too much. 

There's another problem. Some filmmakers have the finesse to handle laughs and scares (as in the Scream movies) with a certain flair, but that is not the case with Cummins. Also, horror films have never been the most "tasteful" genre, but is it necessary for us to learn that the first victim had her vagina carried off (deputies later make a joke about this). This is especially strange as Cummins' script has the sensitivity to have P. J., the first victim's boyfriend (Jimmy Tatro, who should have been the lead), get angry at a minor character saying "faggot" (apparently P.J's brother is gay).  It is also never explained how the killer has the strength to literally tear someone apart. Other notable cast members, besides Forster in his next-to-last role, include Riki Lindhomme as a deputy and Will Madden as Paul Carnury. The shame of it is that the movie has some interesting elements and some well-staged action scenes, but the presence of the hysterical and irritating Cummins just about strips it of major entertainment value.

Verdict: Cummins should never direct Cummins. **1/4. 

DEATH IN A RED JAGUAR

George Nader

DEATH IN A RED JAGUAR (aka Der tod im roten Jaguar/1968). Director: Harald Reinl. 

FBI agent Jerry Cotton (George Nader) is called to San Francisco after a series of murders which point to the same killer -- the same pistol and same silencer were used. Cotton, who drives a sleek red jaguar, works with SF detective Sam Parker (Herbert Stass), partner Phil Decker (Hans Weiss). and Parker's associate, Ria (Daniela Surina) in an effort to pinpoint the murderer. As the bodies pile up, Cotton and the others uncover a kind of "Dial a Death Service" in which hit men are hired to murder unsuspecting innocents, and the hit men themselves are exterminated once their usefulness is over. 

Cotton flips Harry (Frank Nossack) to his side

This is another dubbed German Jerry Cotton movie, and like The Violin Case Murders it is slick, fast-paced and entertaining. As usual in these stories, the authorities don't seem capable of protecting witnesses and more than one gets offed during the running time. Robert Fuller shows up in an exciting prologue as a machine-gun toting bad guy that Cotton pursues into a theatrical establishment, frightening -- but also saving -- a whole bunch of chorus girls. Frank Nossack is cast as Harry, a hit man who is somehow flipped into working with Jerry, and Carl Lange is the sinister Dr. Saunders. The identity of the true mastermind comes as a bit of a surprise. 

Verdict: Jerry Cotton is back! ***. 

OUR MAN IN JAMAICA

Larry Pennell as Agent 001

OUR MAN IN JAMAICA/aka A 001: operazione Giamaica/1965.) Director: Richard Jackson. 

Ken Stewart, aka Agent 001 (Larry Pennell), is sent to Jamaica to investigate the disappearance of Larry Peacock, Agent 009. Once there, Stewart pretends to be an antique dealer, and establishes a friendship with Mrs. Cervantes (Linda Sini), who is also in the business. But Larry develops a more personal relationship with the older woman's secretary, Gloria (Barbara Valentin), and Larry's sister, Jane (Margitta Scherr). Joining forces with Captain Mike Jefferson (Brad Harris), Stewart tries to uncover the true identity of an arms dealer operating out of the island, and winds up in the villain's makeshift electric chair! 

Brad Harris as Captain Jefferson

Clearly modeled after Dr. No -- although with a much less interesting villain -- Our Man in Jamaica is a fair-to-middling Eurospy film that features all of the usual elements, including an American actor in the lead; Pennell is fine as the spy. Brad Harris, also an American, went on to co-star in several more eurospy films in the Kommissar X series. This is a pretty low-tech affair -- a high-frequency recorder seems to be Agent 001's only gadget -- with location filming, and women who are far less beautiful than you usually see in Bond movies. Like Dr. No, the villain in this, played by Wolfgang Kieling, has his own private island, but there isn't much of interest on it. A pop tune that deliberately sounds like music for the Bond films plays over the opening credits.

The film has a hilarious prologue, with both Stewart and a lady friend passed out after a night of lovemaking. The woman says "You can marry me, like you said." To which a hungover Stewart replies: "Who are you?" Unlike a lot of eurospy movies, Our Man in Jamaica manages to hold the attention and proceeds at a relatively swift pace, but it never quite develops into anything that memorable. Italy-West Germany-Spain co-production. 

Verdict: Well-played and smooth but no Dr. No. **1/2. 

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1989)

Sarah Maur Thorp and Frank Stallone

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1989). Director: Alan Birkinshaw. 

Harry Alan Towers had already produced two earlier versions of Agatha Christie's venerable story -- the notable 1965 version and the terrible 1974 version -- when he decided to trot it out a third time and the results are mediocre. In this version, which is faithful to the period, the assorted wrong-doers are invited on an African safari and wind up staying in a very isolated area -- a rope bridge over a chasm is destroyed -- inside large tents. The premise still casts a certain creepy spell, but otherwise this is not very memorable.

The cast of Ten Little Indians 

There are some notable performers in the cast, however: Donald Pleasence [Circus of Horrors] as the judge; Herbert Lom  of Asylum as the general (he played Dr. Armstrong in the 1974 version); Sarah Maur Thorp as Vera; and Warren Berlinger, a pleasant surprise as Mr. Blore. Brenda Vaccaro gives the same fussy performance as she did in her later years. I'm honestly not certain if Frank Stallone can even be considered a genuine actor, so his choice as the male lead is rather strange. One of the characters acknowledges a lesbian affair which was not in the novel but was picked up for a British TV mini-series many years later. The lousy score for the movie only makes matters worse. 

Verdict: Stick with the 1965 version or And Then There Were None. **1/4.  

ANGEL FACE

Jean Simmons

ANGEL FACE (1953). Produced and directed by Otto Preminger. 

Frank Jessup (Robert Mitchum) is an ambulance driver who meets the fascinating Diane Tremayne (Jean Simmons) when her stepmother, Catherine (Barbara O'Neil), has a near-deadly encounter with a gas jet. Although Frank is already involved with Mary (Mona Freeman), Frank can't quite resist seeing Diane and ultimately going to work for her family as a chauffeur. Diane truly hates her stepmother -- she thinks she treats her beloved father (Herbert Marshall) like a lap dog -- but Frank has no interest in her nefarious plans. In spite of his admonitions, there is a very terrible accident, and Frank's life winds up spiraling out of control ... But there are worse things to come. 

Robert Mitchum and Mona Freeman

Angel Face is one of Otto Preminger's best movies, an absorbing and exciting, well-acted exercise in film noir with Jean Simmons wisely underplaying so that the audience is never quite certain what is on her mind. Mitchum plays an essentially decent guy who isn't quite willing to do indecent things for Diane's sake, although one could argue that he isn't terribly nice to his cast-off girlfriend, Mary, who stands by him for awhile. Kenneth Tobey [It Came from Beneath the Sea] is Mary's admirer and Frank's former associate, Leon Ames is a defense lawyer, and Jim Backus plays the prosecutor; all are fine. There are twists and turns to the plot and a ferociously horrifying climax. (Those who suggest that  Frank's actions at the end are unrealistic forget that he was never the brightest bulb in the chandelier.) Angel Face contains elements of everything from Double Indemnity to Leave Her to Heaven but has a mystique all of its own. 

Verdict: Some people you should never get into cars with. ***1/4. 

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1974)

Lom, Frobe, Attenborough, Reed and Sommer

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1974). Director: Peter Collinson. 

Several people receive invitations to an empty luxury hotel built in the Iranian desert near some ruins. While there they learn that their unknown host has assembled them for past misdeeds and an unseen killer strikes at them one by one, the murders related in some way to a nursery rhyme. Eventually the rapidly-dwindling group comes to realize that the murderer is one of their own. Paranoia sets in as the deaths continue and everyone falls under suspicion. 

Unlikely lovers: Elke Sommer and Oliver Reed

This is the second of three versions of Agatha Christie's venerable story that was produced by Harry Alan Towers, who would seemingly produce any piece of shit if he thought he could turn a profit. At least he has assembled an interesting cast in this misfire: Richard Attenborough as the judge; Elke Sommer and Oliver Reed [The Shuttered Room] as the unlikeliest pair of young lovers ever; Stephane Audran as the actress who may have murdered her husband; two Bond villains -- Gert Frobe of Goldfinger and Adolfo Celi of Thunderball -- as, respectively, a detective and a general; French entertainer Charles Aznavour as the drunken first victim; Herbert Lom [Mysterious Island] as Dr. Armstrong, and no less than Orson Welles as the voice of the host. 

The most notable things about this production are the settings and the cinematography of Fernando Arribas. The musical score is atrocious, and the clumsily-directed film -- there are way too many long shots and the murder scenes are devoid of elan -- has virtually no tension or suspense. The acting is generally good, with Attenborough coming off the best. Towers had one more version of the story to go. 

Verdict: Another tax write-off for Towers. **. 

THE INVADERS Book

THE INVADERS. James Rosin. Autumn Road; 2012.

This book takes a look back at the TV series The Invaders that ran for two seasons on ABC in the sixties. I was hoping for a detailed, in-depth look at the show and all of its episodes a la the book on the Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea TV series, but while comparisons may be odious, one can't help but feel cheated by this slender and insufficient volume. There are a lot of pictures, as well as brief quotes from star Roy Thinnes and other people involved in the production of the show, but also a lot of padding, with biographies of not only everyone connected to the show but every actor who ever appeared as a guest-star! If the book serves any purpose at all, it may be to whet your appetite for viewing or re-viewing this very interesting series, but although all he offers in his notes of individual episodes are synopses, the author still manages to give away important plot points throughout the book. 

Verdict: Watch the series and forget about this. **. 

MISSION TO CARACAS

Roland Carey as agent Gil Becker

MISSION TO CARACAS/Mission speciale a Caracas/1965. Director: Raoul Andre. 

In Caracas Special agent Gil Becker (Roland Carey using the name "Rod Carter") is after a self-described evil Frenchman named Vasson (Saro Urzi). Vasson works with Madame de Lainville (Louise Carletti), the directress of an institution for underprivileged young girls, but she has no intention of being underprivileged herself. 

Agent Becker with femme fatale

Vasson exchanges a formula for a deadly neurotoxin, PK 23, for a bunch of diamonds from a consortium, which he passes off to Madame. On a cruise ship some of Madame's female associates try their damnedest to get the briefcase containing the diamonds away from the directress, with the result that she is thrown overboard and, later, six or seven of the gals engage in a protracted "cat fight." Meanwhile there are assorted spies who don't want the diamonds, but rather the briefcase, which contains special secret documents irradiated in such a way that the writing will eventually vanish. Dodging assorted spies and weapons, including a camera that doubles as a weapon, Becker does his best to outwit everyone. 

Paul Demange and Carey

Mission to Caracas is a pretty bad eurospy film. Believe me, it wasn't easy coming up with a coherent synopsis of the plot as there are so many characters working at cross purposes you need a scorecard. French-Swiss actor Carey makes a perfectly acceptable super-spy, but he appeared mostly in "peplum" movies; this was his only appearance as Gil Becker. Even dubbed, Urzi makes an impression as the slimy but charming Vasson. The movie is all but ruined by a horrible jazzy headache-inducing score that never matches up with the action on screen, and many of the action sequences are clumsily staged. A Spanish-Italian-French co-production.

Verdict: Try and follow it if you dare! *1/2. 

MURDER IN PEYTON PLACE

Stella Stevens

MURDER IN PEYTON PLACE (1977 telefilm). Director: Bruce Kessler. 

"I want to destroy Peyton Place." -- Stella Chernak

After two theatrical films and two TV series-- nighttime in 1969 and daytime in 1972 -- this TV movie returns to the lusty town of Peyton Place where Stella Chernak (Stella Stevens), a disgruntled former resident, is out for payback against real and imagined enemies. As Ryan O'Neal and Mia Farrow, who played lovers Rodney Harrington and Allison MacKenzie in the original series, had gone on to greener pastures -- Farrow only appears in a flashback -- they are (apparently) killed off in this sequel. Dorothy Malone and Tim O'Connor return as Allison's parents, as does Christopher Connelly as Rodney's brother, Norman and Ed Nelson [Attack of the Crab Monsters] as Dr. Rossi. The cast, characters and storylines of the afternoon soap Return to Peyton Place are ignored. 

Priscilla Morrill, Hedison, Nelson, Connolly

While the notion of a vengeful woman wanting to destroy an entire town sounds like it might at least be good television, this is not exactly The Visit. Murder in Peyton Place is, frankly dull, and while I was never a fan of the original series I can't imagine that those who were would be that pleased with this production. We know who the culprit is almost from the start, and Stella Stevens is surprisingly perfunctory as the villainess. Not even the presence of a boy toy (a creditable Robert Deman) and his mean-spirited Dobermans can help. The acting is of the soap opera variety, which means everyone is professional but no one exactly puts themselves out. Janet Margolin has replaced Barbara Parkins as Betty Anderson -- they look alike -- and David Hedison takes over from James Douglas as Steven Cord. Linda Gray plays Cord's wife. Marj Dusay is fine as Ellen Considine and Jonathan Goldsmith makes an impression as sexy bad boy Stan, who is married to one of Allison's sisters and fiddles with yet another.

Verdict: Things have never been more boring in Peyton Place! *1/2.