SCHIZOID

SCHIZOID (1980). Written and directed by David Paulsen. 

Julie (Marianna Hill) writes a Lonely Hearts column for a newspaper, and begins receiving strange, threatening letters employing cut-out letters from magazines. At the same time, other members of her therapy group are being sliced and diced by a scissors-wielding maniac. The suspects are numerous: Julie's husband (Craig Wasson of Body Double) is not happy with the fact that she is divorcing him; Julie's shrink (Klaus Kinski) is an unethical creep who is having sex with at least two of his patients, including Julie; the shrink's daughter, Alison (Donna Wilkes), is a neurotic who hates anyone who takes away her father's attention; and lonely Gilbert (Christopher Lloyd) is not only in the therapy group but also is the maintenance man at the newspaper. Shizoid does manage to work up some suspense as to the identity of the killer, and moves at a good pace. The kill scenes are moderately gruesome and not that inspired. Kinski gives a good performance and is given two sex scenes, which may or may not have been excruciating for the leading ladies. Donna Wilkes is effective as Alison, who enjoys dressing up as if she were in a piece of film noir. Joe Regalbuto, who later wound up on Murphy Brown, plays a cop. Christopher Lloyd is perfectly okay as Gilbert, but you wouldn't have imagined that he'd be in for major success with Taxi and the Back to the Future movies. 

Verdict: Okay slasher flick. **1/2. 

MORBIUS

Jared Leto as Michael Morbius

MORBIUS (2022). Director: Daniel Espinosa.  

Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) was born with a rare blood disease for which he is trying to find a cure. This cure involves vampire bats, and it turns out to be worse than the disease. Morbius turns into a vampire who has to subsist on artificial blood, which he created. But he knows that this fake blood won't sustain him for long. Another problem is that his friend, Milo (Matt Smith), who suffers from the same disease, takes the cure and doesn't care at all that he has to kill human beings to sustain him. Before long the two are in an epic battle in and above New York City. 

Morbius contemplates his future

Morbius was originally a character in Spider-Man comic books (Spidey is not mentioned until a post-credit sequence in which Michael Keaton as the Vulture also appears). Morbius also had his own short-lived series but he worked best as an opponent for Webhead. In the comics Morbius did prey upon innocent people and was always hating himself for it, but he never did the compassionate thing and end his life. This aspect of the character is not explored in this film in which he is basically a good guy (it's uncertain if he was responsible for the deaths of some mercenaries or not). 

Leto as Morbius

The action scenes in the movie, heavily dependent on CGI like most of these pictures, are at times too cluttered to be effective -- the business with alternating slow-motion with freeze frames is also annoying --  but the movie benefits greatly from a fine performance by Leto, with Matt Smith also effective as the rather psychotic Milo. I guess the best thing I could say about the modestly entertaining picture is that if there is a sequel I would watch it, but I couldn't necessarily recommend this to others. 

Verdict: A strong lead performance helps bolster this Marvel movie from Columbia studios. **1/2. 

THE FLESH IS WEAK

Milly Vitale and John Derek

THE FLESH IS WEAK (1957). Director: Don Chaffey. 

Marissa Cooper (Milly Vitale) arrives in London and is almost immediately set up by a slick operator named Tony (John Derek), one of the criminal Giani brothers. Tony wines and dines Marissa, sets her up in her own apartment, promises to marry her, all in an attempt to snare her into prostitution by claiming he'll go to jail if she can't get him some big money in a hurry by turning tricks. Surely this is a very involved and expensive way to traffic women, so right away we have a premise that makes little sense, as I imagine pimps generally don't have such patience in turning their girls into hookers. 

Martin Benson and John Derek

Although tame by today's standards, The Flesh is Weak is pretty frank for a fifties film -- in this period British films tended to be more "adult" than in the U.S. Derek gives a good performance as the loathsome Tony, and he is capably if unexcitingly supported by Martin Benson as brother Angelo, the head of their outfit. William Franklyn plays a reporter who is trying to expose the Gianis and help their women, including Marissa, at the same time. Marissa is too stupid to be that sympathetic -- she still wants to stick up for Tony even after he disfigures a woman who let her stay at her apartment! -- and Italian actress Vitale proves too insufficient a performer in this to do much with the part. Patricia Jessel as Millie is much too old and plain to be playing a successful street walker; 37 at the time, she looks much older. 

Verdict: Distinctly minor British exploitation film. *1/2. 
 

RIVER'S END

RIVER'S END (1940). Director: Ray Enright. 

Sgt Derry Connison (Dennis Morgan) of the mounties takes off after escaped convicted murderer John Keith (also Dennis Morgan), who happens to look quite a bit like him. When the former lies dying of exposure, he suggests that Keith, whom he believes to be innocent, take his place in the Mounties and solve the murder for which he was accused. When Connison's sister (Elizabeth Earl) shows up thinking Keith is her brother, he finds himself falling for her. Talk about a sticky situation! Georgie Tobias is Keith's Pal, Andy, and Steffi Duna is Cheeta, who has an unaccountable yen for him. Victor Jory is wasted as a witness at the trial who comes back into the scene. Although the premise is intriguing, this is not a very good picture. 

Verdict: Two Dennis Morgans for the price of one! **.
 

THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES

THE MAN WITH NINE LIVES (1940). Director: Nick Grinde. 

Dr. Leon Kravall (Boris Karloff) was a leader in the field of "frozen therapy" in which cells and people are frozen for allegedly beneficial results, but he disappeared ten years ago. Aha -- it turns out that the good doctor and several others were actually accidentally frozen in a cavern in his basement. Thawed out, the megalomaniacal Kravall insists on doing things his way whether everyone agrees with him or not. Karloff is fun, Jo Ann Sayers is fine as the nurse Judith, and there are some okay ideas and moments in the movie, but overall this doesn't add up to all that much. Still, Karloff is always watchable and so is the film. 

Verdict: Just don't expect too much. **1/2.

 

BACK SOON

Vacation and finishing up some projects took up too much time this month, but B MOVIE NIGHTMARE will be back in a couple of weeks. 

THE INVISIBLE MAN (2020)

Elizabeth Moss

THE INVISIBLE MAN (2020). Written and directed by Leigh Whanell.

Cecelia Kass (Elizabeth Moss) finally manages to get away from her abusive and controlling boyfriend, Adrian Griffin (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), an optics genius, with the help of her sister, Emily (Harriet Dyer) and a cop-friend named James (Aldis Hodge). She relaxes for awhile when she learns that Adrian apparently committed suicide, but then weird things begin to happen which make her think that Adrian is not only alive, but stalking her -- invisibly. Is there any truth to her feelings, or is she losing her mind? Is Adrian still alive, or is someone else sneaking up on her in the night? 

Harriet Dyer with Moss

The Invisible Man has no relation to H. G. Wells' novel or film versions thereof, although the last name of "Griffin" is a nod to the protagonist of that novel. The Invisible Man is a slick, very well-made variation on Wells' classic tale that keeps you in suspense over what is really happening and who, if anyone, is doing what to whom. Director Leigh Whannell -- with the aid of a tense score by Benjamin Wallfisch --  keeps the creepiness factor at high level virtually throughout the movie. Elizabeth Moss offers an outstanding performance as Cecelia, with fine performances from the others named as well as Michael Dorman as Adrian's lawyer-brother and Storm Reid as James' teenage daughter. I might wish that some of the characters were better developed, but the movie is, understandably, mostly interested in tension and chills.

Fantasy or reality?

I believe The Invisible Man was simply meant to be an engaging thriller, but some critics and viewers have subscribed all manner of political motives to the movie. Some wish it was more "me/too," focusing more on the abuse suffered by Cecelia (interestingly her life with Adrian is never really shown) and others invoked that awful WOKE application simply because the hero in the film -- if he even is the hero -- is portrayed by a black actor and a couple of the white male characters are stinkers (in no way do I see this film as being guilty of "white-bashing.") Judge for yourself. I found The Invisible Man to be highly entertaining.

Verdict: The strengths of this film are hardly invisible. ***1/4. 

COBRA WOMAN

Maria Montez and Jon Hall

COBRA WOMAN (1944). Director: Robert Siodmak. 

Ramu (Jon Hall), betrothed to Tollea (Maria Montez), learns that his beloved has been kidnapped off their island home and taken to her birthplace, Cobra Island.  Her grandmother, the queen (Mary Nash), wants Tollea to take the throne from the High Priestess, Naja, who happens to be Tollea's evil twin.  Ramu sails to Cobra Island with his adoring buddy Kado (Sabu), to bring Tollea back, but they have to contend with Naja, who likes to sacrifice her people to a volcano, as well as her nasty associate, Bartok (Edgar Barrier). Ramu does receive some assistance from the mute Hava (Lon Chaney, Jr.), but will it be enough to reunite the lovers? 

Evil High Priestess: Montez

Arabian Nights, starring the trio of Jon Hall, Sabu, and Maria Montez, was so successful that they were reteamed for two other pictures, of which Cobra Woman is the third and last. Mildly entertaining, it was a step downward for the group, being similar to say, a Jungle Jim movie, only in technicolor and with better production values. The best scene is the wild and vivid "Cobra Dance" that is performed with a live cobra! Montez delineates her two different characters in the broadest of strokes, but she is fun spitting commands at her subjects and others. Mary Nash probably makes the best impression, although she has to compete with chimp Koko, who is given her own theme music. Universal recognized the publicity value of Montez' scantily-clad persona, so she is top-billed in this film whereas it was Hall in Arabian Nights. The co-screenwriter for this was Richard Brooks, who went on to write and/or direct some better-known Hollywood films such as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. 

Verdict: Montez' Hollywood career was fast running out. **1/2. 

CORRUPTION

Peter Cushing and Sue Lloyd

CORRUPTION (1968). Director: Robert Hartford-Davis.

"The more you succeed, the more you fear the failures."

Surgeon Sir John Rowan (Peter Cushing) is in love with a greedy young model named Lynn (Sue Lloyd). When Lynn refuses to leave a party given by photographer Mike (Anthony Booth), Rowan tries to force her to come with him, resulting in an arc light falling over and smashing into Lynn's face, disfiguring her. Surgery helps for a time, but Rowan discovers he needs fluid from women's pituitary glands to repair the damage to his lover's face time and again. This leads into a series of gruesome murders and even a beheading on a train. Where will it all end? Rowan thinks he's gotten his latest unwilling donor in Terry (Wendy Varnals), a girl runaway who turns out to have some cretinous friends. This leads into a nerve-wracking laser surgery sequence and a gross climax with an out-of-control laser that is one of the wildest things I've ever seen. 

In addition to its delightfully lurid plot, what Corruption has going for it is two excellent lead performances from Cushing and Lloyd. Kate O'Mara also scores as Lynn's sister, Val, as does Noel Trevarthen as Dr. Steve Harris; a friend and colleague of Rowan's. After the climax, the best scene is the grisly train murder with an especially intense and determined Cushing doing his best to achieve his horrible objective. The one element of the film that not only doesn't work but almost works against it is the jazzy, inappropriate score by Bill McGuffie. An advertising campaign (see photo) suggested that no woman would be admitted to the film without an escort!

Verdict: Lurid and tasteless as hell but a lot of wicked fun! ***1/4. 

THE VIOLENT YEARS

THE VIOLENT YEARS (1956).  Director: William Morgan. Written by Ed Wood.

Paula Parkins (Jean Moorhead) comes from a good family but is neglected by her parents. It is still quite inexplicable that she decides to form a gang of teenage girls and commit numerous jobs, mostly at gas stations. At one point Paula and her gals force a man into the woods and apparently have their way with him, although this is never shown. A "pajama party" that Paula throws for her friends includes both boys and girls, all in pajamas, for heavy petting sessions. Paula's fence is a hard-boiled dame named Sheila (Lee Constant), but if she thinks she can order Paula around she's got another think coming. Paula does decide to do some work for Sheila, which includes wrecking the high school, an act which brings in the police for a shoot out. Will the authorities finally catch up with Paula before she has many deaths to her credit?

Written by the infamous Ed Wood, The Violent Years is passable enough until the final quarter, when a tiresome judge (I. Stanford Jolley) goes on -- and on and on -- about Paula's case and juvenile delinquency in general. This tedious verbosity was a hallmark of Wood's screenplays, unfortunately. 

Paula gets her man!

The actors can best be described as modestly talented amateurs. Moorhead was actually 21 at the time of shooting, and was a Playboy playmate; she managed to amass 38 credits. Reporter Barney Stetson is played by Glen Corbett, but he is not to be confused with Glenn Corbett of Route 66 and Homicidal. Timothy Farrell is Lt. Holmes. Lee Constant offers the most vivid performance in this. but this was her only film. The movie seems to suggest that the parents are always entirely to blame for juvenile delinquency, but that doesn't stop the judge from giving Paula a pretty stiff sentence.

Verdict: Shut off before the last fifteen minutes. **1/4. 

DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE

Bennett, Sharpe and Quigley

DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE (1939/12-chapter  Republic serial). Directors: John English; William Witney. NOTE: This is a colorized version. 

Harry Crowel (Charles Middleton) has escaped from prison and disguised himself as industrialist Horace Granville (Miles Mander), who is kept prisoner in a cell in his own basement. Opposing Crowel are the three circus daredevils Tiny Dawson (Bruce Bennett of Mystery Street), Burt Knowles (David Sharpe) and Gene Townley (Charles Quigley of The Crimson Ghost). The fellows get involved when Gene's little brother Sammy, (Robert Winkler), is killed in a fire at an amusement pier started by Crowel's henchmen. With the assistance of Granville's granddaughter Blanche (Carole Landis), the Daredevils do their best to stop the nefarious plans of the sinister Crowel. 

Daredevils of the Red Circle is a good and exciting serial, even if the fisticuffs in this are perhaps not as lively as in other Republic cliffhangers. Still there are good sequences: a raging flood in a tunnel; a factory pool that catches fire; and especially a locked garage that fills with gas. As expected Charles Middleton offers the best performance as Crowel. 

Verdict: Some thrilling fun -- in color! ***. 

THE ANGRY RED PLANET

THE ANGRY RED PLANET (1959). Director: Ib Melchior. 

"Women don't have a monopoly on fear."

Dr. Iris Ryan (Nora Hayden) is one of two surviving members of an expedition to Mars, the other being Colonel O'Bannion (Gerald Mohr of Jungle Girl). O'Bannion is unconscious, his arm being digested by an inexplicable material engulfing it. Drugs are used to stimulate the traumatized Iris' memory, leading to flashbacks that show us what happened on the Red Planet Mars. The astronauts -- who also include Professor Gettell (Les Tremayne of The Monster of Piedras Blancas) and technician Sam Jacobs (Jack Kruschen of Reform School Girl) -- discover a strange airless world where nothing seems to move unless it is directed to. Iris is nearly snared by a gigantic, tentacled carnivorous plant; the whole group battles a humungous bad-rat-spider monster with legs that resemble tree trunks; and after spotting a distant city across a lake full of viscous liquid encounter an enormous amoeba that ingests one of them and starts eating away at O'Bannion's arm. The landscape is depicted in "cinemagic," which bathes everything in a reddish tint. 

Iris )Nora Hayden) sees a Martian

For some reason Amazon Prime Video has two versions of this movie. This is supposed to be the "original" version but scene for scene it is exactly like the other version Amazon offers -- there are no differences at all. Angry Red Planet is talky and slow at first, but once it gets going it is quite entertaining and the various monsters are a lot of fun. The story is actually pretty good but it needed a much better director. Former hoofer Mohr comes off, as usual, like an aging make-out man and his presumptuousness as regards to Iris -- whom he calls "Irish" -- is amazing. Reportedly Hayden thought Mohr was "quite arrogant and nasty." Hayden largely appeared on television, and attempted a comeback in her final 1969 film The Perils of P.K. where she played a stripper hoping to snare a name actor to appear with her in a film. Hayden did get the likes of Sammy Davis Jr., Joey Heatherton, Louise Lasser and others to appear with her, but one viewer described the film as making "Glen or Glenda seem like Citizen Kane."  

Verdict: The wonderful bat-rat-spider -- which once had its own model kit -- is alone worth the price of admission. ***.  

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE POISON PEN

Raymond Burr as Perry Mason

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE POISON PEN (1990 telefilm). Director: Christian I. Nyby II.

Bradley Thompson (David Warner) is a slightly obnoxious bestselling author whose most recent work is a non-fiction study of a murder case that Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) worked on, successfully defending the accused. Thompson named a different suspect in his book, which led to the man's suicide. When Thompson is poisoned at a literary conference, there are numerous suspects, one of whom is arrested: ex-wife Martha (Barbara Babcock); author Rita Sue Bliss (Cindy Williams); former protege Michael Garcia (Tony Lo Bianco); assistant Rebecca (Katherine Moffat); bartender Chris Fulmer (Don Reilly); and others. Most of these suspects have secrets, and most of Thompson's output may well have been written by others. 

William R. Moses as Ken Malansky

The Case of the Poisoned Pen is decidedly one of the better Perry Mason movies, with a strong hook, a good plot, and lots of motives. Burr is as excellent as usual as the defense lawyer, and there are especially good performances from Warner, Babcock, and Williams. Theater actor Don Reilly also makes a positive impression. The ever-likable William R. Moses plays private detective Ken Malansky, but he never seems quite as solid as Paul Drake, literally or figuratively -- Bill Hopper had those football-type shoulders after all! However, Moses is good and is still a busy actor today. 

Verdict: Quite entertaining and well-acted. ***. 
 

BARE BONES No. 9 Winter 2021 No. 10 Spring 2022

 

BARE BONES 9. Winter 2021.

BARE BONES 10. Spring 2022. 

Here are the latest two issues of that wonderful publication Bare Bones. Co-edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri, Bare Bones "unearths vintage, forgotten and overlooked horror, mystery, sci-fi, western" and just plain weird material.  

Issue 9 covers A. E. van Vogt's classic story Black Destroyer; the film Hickey and Boggs; my piece on Eurospy films of the sixties; Peter Enfantino's look at Sure -Fire Detective Stories; John Scoleri's review of Boxoffice for 1974; and lots more.

Issue 10 has Matthew R. Bradley's piece on Henry Farrell; a look at Nightmare Alley; Marvel Comics' Monsters Unleashed magazine; my piece on sixties TV show comic book tie-ins; John Scoleri's interview with Chris Matheson; Peter Enfantino's Sleaze Alley column; and David J. Schow's piece on King Kong, and more!

What are you waiting for? These are available on amazon in trade paperback format -- click on the links above. Packed with interesting features, these are both scholarly and fun! 

THE UNTOUCHABLES Season One

Robert Stack as Eliot Ness

THE UNTOUCHABLES Season One. 1959 ABC television series. 

I think I may have watched one episode or so of The Untouchables when I was a kid. It was adult material, not for children, and held little interest for me. Even today I find many of the episodes -- one in particular -- disturbing and depressing, although I think it is a good and classic show. Inspired by the memoirs of the late Eliot Ness, who went after prohibition-era gangsters like Al Capone but who ironically wound up a forgotten  alcoholic years later (until the posthumous memoir made him famous again), The Untouchables bounces around in time from the late 20's to the 30's when prohibition ended and bad guys moved in on everything from narcotics to milk!

Stack with Fernandez and Paris; J. Carroll Naish in foreground 

The amazing thing about The Untouchables is how hard-hitting it still is after sixty years, how brutal, with horrible things happening to the innocent as well as the guilty. No, it isn't gore-graphic as the stuff you now see on cable, but it is tough and uncompromising, much like the lead character, Eliot Ness, very well-played by Robert Stack. There is a squad of "untouchables" -- including Jerry Paris, Abel Fernandez, Nicolas Georgiade -- but they are petty much shunted aside in favor or Stack, given less screen time than the gangsters and assorted victims. Anthony George of Checkmate was nearly forty when he joined the series in the first season but was constantly referred to as "the kid" -- he was later killed off. 

White Slavers: Jeremy Brett, Kellin, Paul Langton

The Untouchables received criticism for its depiction of Italian-Americans and for its violence, although many argued that it would be wrong not to show exactly how vicious these gangsters could be. In "The White Slavers" several pretty young Mexican girls who think they are being transported to the U.S. for careers as models (but who are really destined for drug addiction and forced prostitution) are machine -gunned to death -- even up to the last minute you can't believe they won't be saved by Ness or his associates. The scene doesn't occur off-camera, and although you don't see bullets hitting the bodies etc., it is still pretty raw. Later a group of prostitutes begin to tear apart the man (Mike Kellin) who ordered the murders  and the miserable bastard shoots himself in the head. 

Martin Landau guest-stars with Paris and Stack

Other especially memorable first season episodes include: "Ma Barker and Her Boys," with Claire Trevor as the notorious supposed gang leader; "The Jake Lingle Killing" with a shady character (Jack Lord) wanting reward money but Ness isn't certain of his credibility; "Ain't We Got Fun" with Cameron Mitchell as a stand up comic that "Big Jim" (Ted De Corsia) takes a liking to; "The Underground Railway," starring Cliff Robertson in one of his best performances as a disfigured prison escapee who gets a girlfriend (Virginia Vincent) and plastic surgery; the two-part "Unhired Assassin" featuring plots on both the Chicago mayor and President-elect Roosevelt; and "The Frank Nitti Story," in which both Nitti (Bruce Gordon) and Untouchable Cam Allison (the aforementioned Anthony George) go to their final rewards. (Gordon would reappear as Nitti in flashback episodes.) Jerry Paris [Man on the Prowl] also left the series to go on to Michael Shayne where he had more to do. Nelson Riddle's intense theme music grows on you, and Walter Winchell's narration adds immediacy. The Untouchables began life as a two-part episode of Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse which was released to theaters as The Scarface Mob. 

Verdict: Pretty raw at times and quite well-acted by various guest-stars. ***1/4. 

PRIVATE CRIMES

PRIVATE CRIMES. An Arthur Crimes Mystery. William Schoell and Christian Grimm. 2022. 

My new "cozie" mystery novel, PRIVATE CRIMES.

From Amazon:

Arthur Crimes is a small-town publisher who discovers the dead body of an elderly millionaire near an isolated swimming hole. Having once worked with his uncle, a private investigator, Arthur decides to try and find the murderer with the help of his good friend, Eve, a true crime author who is, frankly, hoping to get another book deal. But as they weed through a surprising number of suspects, is someone else observing everything they do, waiting for the right moment to strike ...?

WILLIAM SCHOELL is the prolific author of many novels, biographies, books on the performing arts and pop culture. As CHRISTIAN GRIMM and ENRCIO ARRIVEDERCI he has written two light-hearted cozy mysteries: THE ABSOLUTELY APPALLING OPERA MURDERS and PRIVATE CRIMES.

End of shameless plug!

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME

Tobey McGuire, Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield

SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021). Director: Jon Watts.  

After the events of Spider-Man: Far From Home, the world now knows that Spider-Man and Peter Parker (Tom Holland) are one and the same. Peter goes to see Dr. Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), who casts a spell that will make the world forget this inconvenient fact, but Peter fiddles around too much -- there are some people whom he wants to remember his dual identity, such as close buddy Ned (Jacob Batalon) and his girlfriend, MJ (Zendaya) -- with the result that things go awry. Now other people who know the dual identity secret are popping up from other universes (the "multi-verse") -- Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina from Spider-Man 2), Electro (Jamie Foxx), the Lizard, the Sandman, and Norman Osborn (Willem Dafoe) -- and causing major problems. But Peter also gets help from other-dimensional Spider-Men ... 

Jamie Foxx as Electro

Actually the most interesting aspect of this production is that the two actors who played Spider-Man first (in big-screen movies, that is) -- Toby Maguire from the first three Spider-Man films and Andrew Garfield from the two subsequent Amazing Spider-Man films -- reprise their roles. It is also a plus for the film that Molina and Dafoe also reprise their roles, although Jamie Foxx is a rather disappointing new take on Electro. Although this was released by Columbia, it has the feel of a Disney film. There is way, way too much of Ned and MJ, who -- when you compare them to the original Ned Leeds and Mary Jane Watson -- are not terribly interesting characters. Of course this reboot of the franchise takes Peter Parker back to his high school days and reinvents everything, not always wisely. 

Alone: Tom Holland

There are some notable things about No Way Home -- some excellent FX work, good acting, a score that works on gullible emotions -- but the film is too long, there are dull stretches, there is only one fairly good sequence with Doc Ock attacking a bridge -- and not nearly enough suspense or excitement. Peter's actions are on occasion foolish. Apparently this writes finis to Holland's portrayal of the character as the contrived ending has everyone forgetting he ever existed (although apparently he will carry on as Spidey). It tries  hard to wrench out that pathos -- and the acting and the music help much in this regard -- but there's no real depth to it. 

Verdict: Although many Marvel-maniacs loved it, this is pretty much only for non-discriminating super-hero fans. **1/4. 

THE HOWLING

Watch out for those fangs!

THE HOWLING (1981). Director: Joe Dante.  

"You can't tame what's meant to be wild." 

Television reporter Karen White (Dee Wallace) has an unpleasant encounter with serial killer Eddie Quint (Robert Picardo) in a porn bookstore, but she doesn't remember exactly what happened. Eddie is killed in a hail of bullets but later his body disappears from the morgue. Shaken by her ordeal, Karen is advised by her psychiatrist, Dr. Waggner (Patrick Macnee), to go to his coastline retreat called the Colony. There Karen discovers that there might be worse things walking the earth than serial killers. 

Dee Wallace

The Howling was one of the first big "modern-day" werewolf thrillers and it was so popular at the time of its release that it engendered several, mostly terrible, sequels. Although it's still an entertaining movie, it's gone down in my estimation, primarily because director Joe Dante's staging of some sequences is clumsy to say the least. We're asked to believe that one character can be in an office without ever being aware that an eight foot tall werewolf is in the room with her, and we're also supposed to believe that Karen would simply stand there and watch as Eddie transforms into a wolfman in front of her when the exit is just behind her. True, one can be quite mesmerized by this transformation scene -- which is very well done in the FX sense -- but still ...! Also Dante, whose specialty is black comedies, can't seem to avoid turning the film at times into a blatant and silly parody.

Elisabeth Brooks and Patrick Macnee

As the heroine of the film, Dee Wallace [Love's Deadly Triangle] is acceptable, although I far more enjoyed the very likable Belinda Balaski [The Food of the Gods] as one of Karen's colleagues who comes to a bad end. Ditto for Patrick Macnee [King Solomon's Treasure] of The Avengers TV series who plays a somewhat sympathetic part. Wallace's husband Christopher Stone plays Karen's boyfriend, Bill, and Elisabeth Brooks is introduced as sensual Marsha, who has an affair with Bill. She's not much of an actress and had only a few credits. (Wallace had a ton of credits and is still acting today.) There are fun cameos by John Carradine, Kenneth Tobey, Slim Pickens (as a werewolf sheriff!), and Dick Miller. While admittedly they are rather busy at the time, neither Karen nor another colleague, Chris (Dennis Dugan), have much of a reaction when they learn of the deaths of their respective lovers. Robert Picardo and Don McLeod both make an impression as highly sinister werewolves. Old pro Kevin McCarthy plays Karen's boss. 

Verdict: Has some teeth to it but disappointing in some regards. **3/4. 

A DEADLY HABIT Simon Brett

A DEADLY HABIT. Simon Brett. Severn House; 2018. A Charles Paris Mystery. 

British author Simon Brett has written a whole slew of mystery novels, some of which were stand-alone books, and others belonged to different series. Most of these are light-hearted "cozies." I think the best of Brett's series is the Charles Paris novels. Paris is a likable fellow in many ways -- an alcoholic actor who has had modest success but is unemployed more often than not -- but some of his qualities are not so admirable. Although still married, he is separated from his wife, essentially neglects both her and their daughter, and seems much more interested in acting, drinking, and being an amateur sleuth than anything else. Brett has written over a dozen books in this series, and in this, the latest, Paris is trying to reconcile with his wife and move in with her but the stipulation is that he stop drinking, and he does make a serious effort. (One suspects he wants to be back with his wife because he feels he is a bit "past it" for his frequent marital indiscretions.) He has gotten a small role in a West End production of a weird play about monks -- the star is a famous movie actor that he worked with back in the day -- and naturally there is a murder. Paris not only gets no help from the police, he doesn't cooperate with them at all, and even holds back important information from them, making him rather irresponsible along with everything else. But the book is both amusing and suspenseful as he carries out his investigation (although one might wonder why he bothers) and eventually stumbles into a solution. One wants to root for Paris' sobriety, although frankly the character is more fun when he's drinking. But the ending of this hints that Paris' love for a "Large Bells" (whiskey) is not something so easily overcome. For my money the very best Charles Paris novel is Murder Unprompted, but this one is good. 

Verdict: Paris' swan song? ***. 

MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD

Family portrait

MA BARKER'S KILLER BROOD (1960). Director: Bill Karn. 

Ma Barker (Lurene Tuttle) is a no-nonsense, vulgar, cop-hating termagant who wants the best for her boys -- and for herself. Against her weaker husband's wishes, she encourages her boys to go out and commit jobs at an early age. She has no patience with young Herman (Don Grady), who would prefer to play his fiddle like a "sissy." Herman is the first of the gang to come to a bad end. Before long, Ma is involved with the likes of Machine Gun Kelly, Pretty Boy Floyd, and John Dillinger. After robberies, murders and kidnappings, she holds off the Feds in an hours-long battle at her farmhouse, but crime does not pay ... 

Tuttle with Ron Foster

This low-budget film probably came about because of the success of the TV show The Untouchables, which in its first season had an episode on Ma Barker played by Claire Trevor. Tuttle is just as good and as tough as Trevor, but Killer Brood is not as good as that TV episode, although both vehicles are similarly brutal. Nowadays people claim that Ma Barker was at worst an accessory, that she knew her boys were criminals but took no part in their crimes and certainly didn't plan them. Whatever the case, she has entered folklore as "the most murderous mother of them all." (Shelley Winters also played the part in Bloody Mama.) Other cast members include Ron Foster as handsome son "Doc," and Byron Foulger as a crooked physician who comes afoul of nasty Ma. Tristram Coffin has a good if small role as Barker's second husband, and he is given a notable death scene. The film follows the basic facts along with much embellishing, and has an exciting enough climax. 

Verdict: Lurid, low-budget, and really not very good despite an effective turn by Tuttle. **. 

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM

TOO SCARED TO SCREAM (1984). Director: Tony Lo Bianco. Produced by Mike Connors.

Lt. Alex Dinardo (Mike Connors), his partner Frank (Leon Isaac Kennedy), and undercover policewoman Kate Bridges (Anne Archer of Fatal Attraction) investigate a series of gruesome murders at the tony Royal Arms high rise apartment house in Manhattan. Their one and only suspect is doorman Vincent (Ian McShane), who is decidedly strange, was there at the time of all of the killings, and lives with his crippled mother (Maureen O'Sullivan in a silent role). But could someone else be responsible for these slayings?

Too Late to Scream isn't quite what you could call a slasher film, because the murders are as tasteful as anything on television, and despite the use of a knife and mentions of dismemberment in one of the killings, nothing distasteful is ever shown. With a scarcity of suspects the film only begins to work up real suspense in the final few minutes when the killer and the motive behind the murders are  finally revealed. Mike Connors, who also produced the film, offers an acceptable if listless performance, Archer is better, there are some good character actors in vignettes, and Ian McShane basically walks off with the movie. The main problem with the flick is that the screenplay betrays little real knowledge of police methods and everything just seems rather perfunctory. Working as director, Tony Lo Bianco offers a workmanlike, if uninspired, job, although some of the very brief murder sequences aren't badly handled. One could argue that the motive and solution to this is borderline homophobic.

Verdict: Interesting cast and situations, an exciting climax, but there's something missing here. **1/2.

NEW PROJECTS

Polishing up some exciting new projects. B MOVIE NIGHTMARE will return in July, if not sooner! 

SCREAM (2022)

SCREAM (2022). Directors: Matt Bettinelli- Olpin and Tyler Gillett. 

Well, a killer wearing a ghostface mask is again on the loose in Woodsboro, 25 years after the events in Scream, and again killing teens and others. Eventually the original participants -- Sidney (Neve Campbell), Dewey (David Arquette) and Gail Weathers (Courteney Cox), all of whom look great -- get involved in trying to find out who's responsible. The trouble with 2022's Scream -- which is basically Scream 5 whether it's called that or not -- is its sheer over-familiarity, In the first "kill" -- as gore geeks refer to the murder scenes -- the victim looks more like a child than a teen, and the word "overkill" occurs for some of the slasher sequences. The move is well-acted by the large cast -- very talented Jenna Ortega is a stand-out -- but not that well-helmed by two -- count 'em -- two directors. Basically this is just a retread of Scream 4, which was better and cleverer. 

Verdict: By no means terrible, but I think we've all had enough screaming. **3/4. 

GIRL ON THE RUN

Richard Coogan and Rosemary Pettit

GIRL ON THE RUN (1953), Directed by Arthur J. Beckhard and Joseph Lee. 

Bill Martin (Richard Coogan) is a investigative reporter who has been framed for the murder of his editor. With his girlfriend Janet (Rosemary Pettit) in tow, Bill hides out at a carnival where Hank (Frank Albertson) is the barker. The carnival is run by Blake (Charles Bolender), who happens to be a handsome midget. The dancing girls in the carnival are lorded over by hefty Lil (Edith King), a takes-no-nonsense type who has no love for the police. Speaking of which, a cop named Clay Reeves (Harry Bannister) is busy searching the carnival for Bill and Janet, who have taken jobs there, Bill as a boxer and Janet as one of the scantily-clad dancing gals. A sergeant named Marty (Joseph Sullivan) works with the two to finally take down the utterly corrupt Reeves. 

Charles Bolender and Harry Bannister

Girl on the Run is an interesting cheapie from Astor Studios with only one well-known actor, Albertson, in the cast. The short film seems to begin in the middle, as key elements are kept from the viewer until nearly the end. Instead of building suspense, it has the opposite effect, but the carnival background has its intriguing aspects, and the cast is game. This was probably the only time Richard Coogan was the star of a theatrical film, although he appeared in a few other movies and on television, most famously as Captain Video. Good-looking and adept, he could have made a living playing private detectives. Rosemary Pettit made only one more film after this. Renee De Milo, who plays Gigi, was introduced in this film but never appeared in another, despite a long-stops-the-movie-dead pseudo-striptease sequence. Joseph Sullivan had the longest career, although Edith King probably makes the biggest impression, no pun intended, as hardboiled if lovable Lil. Steve McQueen is supposed to have a bit part in this but I never spotted him!

Verdict: This needed at least another half hour of development to make it work. **1/4. 

PHOBIA

Paul Michael Glaser

PHOBIA (1980). Director: John Huston.

Dr. Peter Ross (Paul Michael Glaser) is giving unconventional therapy to a group of patients on parole. He uses videos to expose his patients to their various phobias, everything from snakes to high heights. When a bomb goes off in his townhouse and one of those patients is killed, the police eventually figure that he was the target. Ross not only seems unconcerned with that, but with the fact that more of his patients are getting knocked off. Inspector Barnes (John Colicos) zeroes in on one of the patients with a violent history, but the killer could be anyone.

Glaser with Patricia Collins

Phobia is not badly done on some levels, but it is sadly forgettable. Even when one considers that Glaser is playing a self-absorbed, egotistical, and unlikable psychiatrist, his performance is still pretty awful. Other cast members make a better impression: Susan Hogan as Ross' gal pal Jenny; Patricia Collins as his associate Dr. Toland; and especially Robert O'Ree as patient Bubba King. Andre Gagnon's score is also helpful. This is the type of twisty psychological plot that would have worked much better as a Dario Argento-type giallo film, with more violence and more elan to the murder sequences. Huston is simply the wrong director for this type of movie.

Verdict: Watch out for those headshrinkers! **1/2.

THE SUCCESSOR

THE SUCCESSOR. Burt Schiller. Originally published in 1966. Aardvark Press Edition; 2022. 

Back in the day when I was a teen and The Man from UNCLE was my favorite TV show, I picked up a paperback in my local stationary store called The Successor because the plot made it almost sound like an episode of that show. The hero, Benjamin Seeker, inherits almost everything from his father, not knowing that his father was the founder and head of a criminal cartel called Unicorn (which reminded me of THRUSH, Uncle's nemesis). Seeker is pretty much told that he either takes over the organization or he'll die because he knows too much. For most of the book he tries to dodge or get away from Unicorn operatives with homicidal intent while trying to make up his mind what to do. 

I knew The Man from UNCLE could be weird -- it eventually degenerated into a foolish out and out comedy before getting back on track, too late, for the fourth season -- but The Successor even out-weirded that show. I mean in one of the early chapters Ben is kidnapped by two Unicorn operatives nicknamed "Ma and Pa Kettle." Ben is put into a bathtub where the mentally-defective "Pa" -- thinking Ben is a baby -- objects when "Ma" starts man-handling Ben in a way that no one should ever touch a baby. Definitely not ready for prime time! And that's only the start!

The wildest chapter is entitled "Killer Nuns," in which a group of women, who may or may not be actual nuns, force Ben to make love to them in order for them to release him and two other captives. Typical of sixties "spy"-types, although Seeker is not really a spy, Ben is absolutely irresistible to all women and horny for all of them as well. (The back cover copy reads "women want to smother him with kisses. Men want to riddle him with bullets," carried over from the old paperback edition.) One of the Unicorn operatives is Father Dunn, who leads the "nuns." Another is called Gorgon, who weighs 300 pounds and runs around in his underpants!

Okay, The Successor is obviously not a work of serious intent, and it is by no means politically correct, although I always thought it had a very good basic premise. However, it is so bizarre and amusing at times that I can see why a small press has brought out a new edition of the novel, written by an ad man named Burt Schiller (as far as I know this was his only book).

Verdict: This is by no means everyone's cup of java -- its weirdness both works for and against it -- but you gotta love any book that has killer nuns in it! **3/4. 

MOONFALL

John Bradley and Halle Berry

MOONFALL (2022). Director: Roland Emmerich. 

When after millions of years the moon begins to fall out of its orbit, there is panic and devastation on earth. The military wants to blast the moon out of existence, but the Acting Director of NASA, Jocina Fowler (Halle Berry), thinks there may be another way of preventing the apocalypse. A genius nerd named KC (John Bradley) theorizes that there is some kind of artificial, alien construct inside the moon, as well as a malevolent and dangerous force. These two, along with disgraced former astronaut Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson), wind up blasting off for the moon on a daring and desperate mission to save the earth. 

Patrick Wilson 

Let's make it clear that Moonfall is a popcorn or comic book movie and is perfectly okay on that level only. I viewed the film with some trepidation as I feared director Emmerich would go for his usual camp approach, and while the tone is light (considering the events occurring), it never quite descends into absolute silliness. There are even some moving bits of humanism, especially concerning the loved ones of the trio and their tribulations on earth, and the unlikely heroism of KC.  

However, the movie keeps bouncing back and forth from the space mission to the earth cataclysms, causing the viewer to be distracted. It would have been better to get all the perils of Pauline stuff for the folks on earth out of the way so we could concentrate solely on the moon in the film's second half. Whatever the film's flaws, however, it has some excellent special effects, an exciting score, a few genuinely thrilling moments, and is very well-acted by the entire cast. The ever-reliable Patrick Wilson makes a strong leading man and once you get used to an oddly-cast Halle Berry she delivers. John Bradley is the most appealing of the three as the lovable science geek. This is a "feel good" movie which sort of glosses over the hundreds of thousands of deaths that must have occurred.

Verdict: Okay, this is fast and entertaining, unoriginal, nothing major, like a colorful CGI comic book. **3/4. 

THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X

Gaby Andre caught in a spider's web with another bug

THE STRANGE WORLD OF PLANET X (aka The Cosmic Monsters/1958). Director: Gilbert Gunn. 

In a small British village, a crazy scientist named Dr. Laird (Alec Mango) is doing experiments in which his apparatus builds up a magnetic field that causes certain problems, the least of which is interference with TV reception. Laird hires two assistants,  the American Gil Graham (Forrest Tucker of The Trollenberg Terror) and the pretty French lady Michele Dupont (Gaby Andre). Naturally there's the usual silliness about how someone so beautiful can't be a scientist and all that. Gil and Michelle have an undeniable attraction towards one another, but they are also concerned that Laird's field may be expanding, and causing deadly complications.

Gaby Andre and Forrest Tucker

On this they are right, as Laird's device has broken through some type of barrier and inexplicably is causing gigantism in insects! In the film's most memorable sequence, Michelle goes into the woods to reach the school house and warn the new teacher to get the hell out of there. Unfortunately, Miss Forsyth (Patricia Sinclair) has already been cornered in the building by crunching, noisy bugs trying to get at her through the windows and doors, and then Michelle herself, beating a hasty and intelligent retreat, winds up stepping into a giant spider's web and waiting her turn as it advances on some kind of beetle already caught in its net. 

Martin Benson as the Visitor

The most notorious scene in the movie, one generally cut for TV in the old days, shows a big bug eating off the face of one poor soldier, and after all these years and multiple viewings I'm still not sure how this was done, as the bug is real and the doll or whatever would have to have been incredibly tiny. Anyway, it's so gross who wants to watch it over and over again? Martin Benson [The 3 Worlds of Gulliver] plays "Smith," a benevolent visitor from another world (according to him the "Planet X" of the title is actually our dear Earth) who comes here to monitor our dangerous experiments, such as that idiot Laird's, that may endanger the entire universe. Reportedly Gaby Andre was dubbed and has a British accent in the film, but her accent is clearly French and I don't believe the actress is dubbed at all. The performances in the movie are good, the sound and visual FX are generally well-done, and there's an eerie score by Robert Sharples. This was loosely based on a 1958 British TV serial of the same name. 

Verdict: Once those bugs start chompin', watch out! ***.