I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2021 TV SERIES)

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2021 Amazon Prime Original TV series). Created for television by Sara Goodman. 

After a high school graduation party attended by twins Lennon and Alison (Madison Iseman), one of these two is run over on the highway and the others in the car -- even though this was clearly an accident and the driver wasn't drunk -- decide to cover it up, putting the body in a cave where it will be washed out to sea. A year later Alison -- pretending to be Lennon -- sees the words I Know What You Did Last Summer scrawled across her mirror and freaks out, contacting her friends. Over eight mostly tedious episodes these friends are gruesomely murdered until the big reveal at the end. 

Well ... what can you say about this series? It would be all too easy to dismiss it as simply godawful but it does have some interesting elements to it, such as brain-eating spiders and a cult that hangs out in a cave, and some genuine suspense towards the end. Some of the murder scenes are at least somewhat inventive. It has very, very little relation to the novel by Lois Duncan and even to the film version of that book. But the biggest problem with the series is that the characters are virtually all obnoxious and unlikable and it's hard to sit through long scenes (hit that fast-forward button!) showing these dipshits partying and acting like a-holes. They come off more like slasher movie teens than real teenagers in any case. It makes absolutely no sense that these characters wouldn't go to the police after the first incredibly sick double-murder no matter what trouble they may or may not find themselves in due to the alleged "cover-up." . 

Madison Iseman sees something awful: the rushes or the script?

The series, which takes place in Hawaii, has a number of multi-cultural and LGBT characters, but their sexuality seems dragged in to satisfy the twists of the plot and to show some presumably hot girl-on-girl action -- somehow it just doesn't seem real. In general the scripting for the series is absolutely abysmal, with cringe-worthy dialogue, and the acting for much of the cast isn't much better. Madison Iseman is pretty awful as the twins, and some of the other "teens" are directed to act in a "cutesy" fashion that is incredibly off-putting. And as for that ending!

SPOILER ALERT

I must say that the identity of the psychotic killer came as a complete surprise to me, although on reflection it makes little sense and she has no real motive to commit such fiendish acts upon her supposed friends. What's worse, after the heroine is stabbed by the killer, she tells the police that the villain is a perfectly innocent male friend while she goes off hand in hand with the murderer! Is this progressive or shockingly regressive? (The first victims are a gay male couple.) One has to wonder who's worse: a killer lesbian or a bisexual (if that's what she is) woman who lets this very sick lady get away with murder, including the beheading of the only one in the cast who gives a damn about her. 

If you want to watch a decent slasher TV series I will recommend all seasons of Scream and the first season of Slasher. 

Verdict: Spare yourself nearly eight hours of watching this grisly tripe. **. 

LAST CALL

 LAST CALL: A True Story of Love, Lust, and Murder in Queer New York. Elon Green. Celadon Books; 2021. 

This excellent book looks at a horrifying series of murders of gay men in the 1990's and unfolds almost like a suspense-thriller as the author delves into the lives of the victims, and finally the killer, a male nurse who lived on Staten Island. Although apparently not gay, Green did enough research and interviews to get a sense of the gay bar scene at the time, and views all of the murdered men with compassion; they are not simply dismissed as can happen in other true-crime volumes. Green also looks at the many people investigating the crimes, the extreme homophobia of the period (especially due to AIDS), and the calls for a more intense look at the killings by such as the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and Anti-Violence Project. As the killer refused to do interviews with Green, we are not able to fully understand this monster, but can such people ever be fully understood?

Back in the day I frequented such bars as the Townhouse and the 5 Oaks, where some of the victims were regulars, and one of these poor men was a bar acquaintance that I saw virtually every time I went into the Oaks. I remember coming back from Boston and seeing this man's photo, along with the words serial killer in the paper, and was shocked. At first I thought the article was naming him as a killer, but it was worse -- he was the victim. None of the men who were killed deserved their fates. But at least their murderer was put away for life.

In the book the author wonders why these series of terrible murders have been virtually forgotten. I think the answer is that there have, unfortunately, been so many other serial killers since then who have captured the public's imagination. That the victims were gay men may also have played a part. Plus all the other things that have happened since the period captured in the tome. When you read books like this you realize that all of those movies about mad psychotics slaughtering people are in incredibly bad taste.

Verdict: Outstanding true crime story. ***1/2. 

MISSION BLOODY MARY

Dick Malloy (Ken Clark) works at his favorite occupation

MISSION BLOODY MARY (aka Agente 077 missione Bloody Mary/1965). Director: Sergio Grieco. 

"Bloody Mary" is the code name for a  new nuclear bomb called B-32. When the bomb is stolen from the wreckage of a plane that crashed in France, CIA agent 077, Dick Malloy (Ken Clark), is sent into action, taking time away from the women he loves to romance and bed. He has a stocky assistant named Lester (Antonio Gradoli) and also hooks up with a friendly taxi driver (Andrea Scotti) after escaping from a yacht. But his main contact is Dr. Elsa Freeman (Helga Line). Dick finds the bomb inside a block of stone inside a factory but then he has to do his best to keep enemy agents from getting their hands on it.

Ken Clark and Helga Line

Mission Bloody Mary is the second of three Dick Malloy films starring Ken Clark, best-known for the schlock classic Attack of the Giant Leeches. He's given a weird dubbed voice in this one, and his performance is hard to judge, but with a physique that puts Sean Connery's to shame, and an ability to love up the women and rough up the guys in more than adequate fashion, it's easy to see why he was cast in these Eurospy films, co-productions of France, Italy and Spain. 

Dick Malloy with colleague

At one point Malloy has to audaciously confirm Elsa's identity by looking at her naked breasts, which she, of course, allows him to do as the camera swings discreetly away. A bad guy who calls himself the "Black Lily" turns a room into a makeshift crematorium to get rid of a difficult colleague. There's a helpful cab driver, both Russian and Chinese agents, and some duplicitous individuals -- as well as the usual interesting locations, with a climax in Athens. This moves at a fast enough pace to keep you watching although it gets a little wearisome towards the end. The pop tune "Bloody Mary," composed by Ennio Morricone, plays over the title credits.

Verdict: Acceptable Eurospy fare. **1/4. 

NEARLY EIGHTEEN

NEARLY EIGHTEEN (1943). Director: Arthur Dreifuss. 

Gale Storm, who later went on to fame as the star of My Little Margie, was 21 when she made this Monogram cheapie musical. 17-year-old Jane Stanton (Storm) comes to New York to find work as a singer. She's almost hired by one saloon, until the owner discovers she's still a minor. Then a handsome manager (who's really a bookie), Tony (Rick Vallin), sends her over to a talent school run by Jack Leonard (William Henry). Unfortunately, the school doesn't take anyone over the age of 14, so Jane is forced to masquerade as a child. There were certainly exploitable and amusing elements in this picture, but none of them are developed in such a fashion as to provide meaty laughs. Storm, however, is poised, very attractive, and already shows signs of the talent for comedy that she'd display years later in two successful sitcoms. The scenes when Jack comes close to nearly kissing a girl he thinks is only 14 are kind of creepy. The best thing about the picture are the snappy musical numbers, such as "The Little Bell Rang," which are more-than-competently delivered by Storm, who sold a few successful records later in her career. 

Verdict: A passing storm on the way to better things. Nice songs, though, and Storm and her leading men are easy on the eyes. **.

LADY OF VENGEANCE

LADY OF VENGEANCE (1957). Director: Burt Balaban. 

William Marshall (Dennis O'Keefe), a tough American publisher in England, importunes a criminal mastermind, Karnak (Anton Diffring of Circus of Horrors), to plan the execution of the man he holds responsible for his pretty young ward, Melissa's, suicide-by-train. Obviously there are assorted complications. This movie is on the level of a TV production, with lots of unanswered questions, and a twist that sharp viewers will probably see coming. O'Keefe is well cast, even if he isn't quite up to his more emotional scenes. Ann Sears is lovely as the secretary who has long been in love with him. Anton Diffring is as sneeringly effective as ever as the ever-superior, stamp-collecting Karnak. Vernon Greeves is properly oily as the make-out artist and musician who dallies with Melissa. This isn't terrible, just not much to rave about. 

Verdict: Flaccid suspenser. **.

THE DOLL OF SATAN

Erna Schurer and Roland Carey

THE DOLL OF SATAN (aka La bambola di Satana/1969). Written and directed by Ferruccio Casapinta. 

Elizabeth (Erna Schurer) comes with her fiance, a writer named Jack (Roland Carey), to her wealthy late uncle's castle for the reading of his will. A mysterious hooded figure in black strangles the laywer Shinton (Domenico Ravenna) and hides his body. A neighbor, Paul (Ettore Ribotta), makes an offer for the castle while the governess, Carole (Lucia Bomez), acts all spooky and tells the others that her dead employer's crazy secretary, who survived an accident, is hidden away in the castle. What could go wrong?

Well, just about everything could go wrong with The Doll of Satan, which despite its pointless title and three bloodless murders is more of a mystery-suspense film than a horror giallo. Aside from a couple of decent fight scenes, especially at the climax, Doll is badly directed and edited and sort of clumps from scene to scene with no style, atmosphere, or energy. There is a no-name international cast that is probably perfectly adept if unlikely to win the Italian equivalent of an Oscar. Poorly photographed as well. This really could have used a few juicy murder scenes. Writer-director Casapinta never made another movie.

Verdict: Somehow holds the attention without ever amounting to much. **1/4. 
 

SECRET AGENT FIREBALL

Richard Harrison as agent Bob Fleming

SECRET AGENT FIREBALL (aka Le spie uccidono a Beirut/1965).  Director: Luciano Martino (Martin Donan)

American agent Bob Fleming (Richard Harrison) is assigned to locate a missing scientist before the Russians do. His boss gives him "unlimited expenses and permission to kill." When the scientist is murdered, Fleming must find a piece of microfilm that has a formula for the H bomb on it, and goes after the dead man's niece, Liz (Dominique Boschero), to see if she knows anything. Unfortunately, sinister Soviet agents have the same idea, and Fleming is forced to rescue the young lady more than once. 

Harrison and Dominique Boschero

This Italian Eurospy movie is typical of the genre, with a horny and ruthless hero, sadistic spies, a femme fatale, and a variety of colorful locations. Fleming is certainly not chivalrous, however. When he and another, older woman are kidnapped at one point, he escapes from the car they are in and just leaves her behind to be murdered! Although there is some globe-hopping, most of the action takes place in Beirut.

Richard Harrison

One spy uses a pipe that contains a lethal dart, used to kill the aforementioned scientist and others. A police car that suddenly turns into a boat reminds one of a sequence in the later Moonraker. There is a knife fight with the two participants tied together with a rope, and two lady wrestlers are the entertainment in a nightclub. Fleming is assisted by Lepetit (Alcide Borik), an alleged taxi driver who has a lot of tricks up his sleeve. Harrison makes a good-looking super-spy and handles both love scenes and fist fights with aplomb. He played Bob Fleming in a later film as well. 

Verdict: Not to be confused with a classy James Bond flick. **1/4. 

INCONCEIVABLE

Gina Gershon and Nicolas Cage

INCONCEIVABLE (2017). Director: Jonathan Baker. 

Brian (Nicolas Cage) and his wife Angela (Gina Gershon) encounter a troubled young woman named Katie (Nicky Whelan) who also has a young daughter. The two woman decide they can help each other out by letting Katie and her child move in, where she can act as nanny to Angela's little girl. Angela is okay with Katie having a girlfriend, who is eventually murdered. Later it is decided that Katie will be a surrogate for the couple's next child, but problems quickly begin to develop and things begin spiraling out of control. Katie not only lays claim to the child she's carrying, but to Angela and Brian's daughter as well, and the couple are shocked to find out why. Eventually things escalate into violence ... 

Faye Dunaway

Why anyone conceived that Inconceivable was a good idea is beyond me. It's all been done before -- and done better -- in movies such as The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Is the picture trying to be hip -- or regressive -- in employing a psychotic lesbian/bisexual as a character?  By now it should be apparent that Nicolas Cage will attach himself  to virtually any crappy project and can no longer be taken seriously as an "A" list actor. It's a question of who looks worse, Cage, or Faye Dunaway, with her collagen lips. In any case, the performances in this are good with Dunaway and a sympathetic Gershon coming off best. 

Verdict: A mediocre Lifetime  movie with bigger names. **. 

MURDER WITH MIRRORS

Helen Hayes and Bette Davis

MURDER WITH MIRRORS (1985 telefilm). Director: Dick Lowry. 

Told that there's something off about her old friend, Carrie Louise (Bette Davis), Miss Jane Marple comes to stay at her estate for a few days to investigate. Carrie's husband, Lewis (John Mills), is in charge of a home for juvenile delinquents, which adjoins the estate. One evening, while Lewis is arguing with a troubled young man, Edgar (Tim Roth), who insists he is Lewis' biological son, family lawyer Christian Gilbranson (John Woodwine) is shot in the study. Then it turns out that someone is apparently trying to poison Carrie Louise. Suspects include granddaughter Gina (Liane Langland), her husband Wally (John Laughlin), her Aunt Mildred (Dorothy Tutin), Steven Restarick (James Coombs), who has a hankering for Gina, and others. 

Dorothy Tutin as Mildred

Murder with Mirrors is based on a fairly clever Agatha Christie novel, and this is a fair-to-middling adaptation. Although Hayes is by no means perfect casting as the very British Miss Marple -- she doesn't even try to affect an accent -- she is a strong enough actress to pull it off in spite of it. Although clearly affected by her recent stroke (it is explained that she is getting over the flu!), Davis is also better than expected. Leo McKern scores as Inspector Curry, and Mills is fine as well. The others are all professional, with Roth and Tutin giving especially notable performances. Langland is perhaps too irrepressible as the very outgoing Gina. The changes made to the story aren't necessary. 

Verdict: Minor-league but entertaining-enough Christie adaptation. **1/4. 

 

THOSE (MOSTLY) FORGOTTEN OLD COP SHOWS # 1

Lee Marvin of M Squad

THOSE (MOSTLY) FORGOTTEN OLD COP SHOWS # 1.

M Squad (1957 - 1960). In this series, which lasted three seasons, Chicago cop Detective Lt. Frank Ballinger (Lee Marvin) works to solve cases of homicide and so on in the Windy City. In "Pete Loves Mary" a murderer (Mike Connors of Voodoo Woman) breaks out of jail, but the main character is his adoring -- and ultimately disillusioned -- younger brother, played by Bobby Driscoll. In "Lover's Lane Killing," a rich gal's fiance is found dead, with Ruta Lee as guest-star. "The Fight" features Charles Bronson as a boxer who "killed" an opponent and now is facing attempts on his own life. Lee Marvin is terrific and convincing as the cop, and based on the very few episodes I've seen, M Squad looks like a pretty good show. The entire series is now on DVD.

John Compton

The D.A.'s Man (1959) stars Ralph Manza as Assistant District Attorney Al Bonacorsi and John Compton as Shannon, a handsome special investigator. (Not to be confused with the show, Shannon, in which George Nader played an investigator.) I've seen only two episodes of this show, which lasted one season. "Girl's Best Friend" is a mediocre entry about a group of jewel thieves, and the excellent "Witness" has a little boy seeing his (literal) godfather murder a mob rival in his home. This episode has a teleplay by Bruce Geller of Mission: Impossible fame and Jack Webb of Dragnet. Both Manza and Compton are effective in their roles, with Shannon getting beaten up as Bonacorsi shows up to wrap things up neatly at the end. I hope more of these will become available. The show has an interesting theme by Frank Comstock.

Verdict: M Squad: ***. D.A.'s Man: **3/4. 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2021. 

If you can do without the Covid crowds just stay home on Halloween and watch some good -- or so bad they're good -- horror movies. This week we've got a fresh crop of films to watch and books to read on both this blog -- and in a few days -- Great Old Movies as well. 

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS

WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (2006). Director: Simon West. 

Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) is hired by a doctor and his wife to babysit their two young children, who are asleep upstairs in their luxurious estate complete with aviary and goldfish pond. Jill begins to receive strange phone calls in which she hears someone breathing, and then a sinister and threatening voice. She gets a shock when she discovers exactly where the calls are coming from and engages in a fight for survival for her and her two charges against a maniacal intruder. 

When a Stranger Calls is loosely based on the original film of the same name, which in turn was based on a film short by Fred Walton. Instead of merely remaking the first movie, which had three acts (much of which had little to do with a terrified babysitter), Stranger manages the admirable feat of expanding the short into a full-length feature of just one setting and one act (aside from a brief prologue). What is even more amazing is that the film is able to sustain  tension and suspense over an hour and a half, building inexorably to an exciting and frightening climax.

When a Stranger Calls is not a slasher film and gore geeks will be disappointed, but the film is well-made enough that it doesn't need the lopped-off limbs and spurting blood so frequently seen in modern-day horror films. Camilla Belle's performance is at times on the amateurish side, but even that doesn't harm the movie too badly. With slick direction from Simon West, high-class cinematography by Peter Menzies, Jr., and an effective score by Jim Dooley, this one is a winner all the way. 

Verdict: Well-made, creepy and absorbing thriller. ***.  

POPULATION /436

POPULATION /436 (2006). Director: Michelle MacLaren. 

Census taker Steve Kady (Jeremy Sisto of Law and Order) shows up in the bucolic small town of Rockwell Falls, where he discovers that year after year the population remains exactly the same: 436 people. As Steve leisurely interviews the assorted townspeople, he finds himself falling for a pretty young lady, Courtney (Charlotte Sullivan), who happens to be keeping company with the friendly Deputy Caine (Fred Durst). Steve discovers that odd things are happening in Rockwell Falls and an act of sudden and shocking violence makes clear to him why the population always stays the same. The question is: can he and Courtney ever get out of the place? 

Jeremy Sisto

Population 436 borrows from numerous sources -- The Lottery, Harvest Home, The Stepford Wives, The Wicker Man and even Brigadoon -- but on its own terms it's a suspenseful story, bolstered by some good photography (Thomas Burstyn), music (Glenn Buhr), and good performances from Sisto and Durst (who is especially notable) and several members of the supporting cast. Maybe it's the overfamiliarity of the plot -- another "small town with a dread secret" -- or a lack of true intensity, a kind of TV movie feel, that keeps this from being more memorable, although it is nevertheless compelling for most of its length.

Verdict: Perhaps not quite top-notch but worth a look. **3/4.   

THE SCHOELLECTION

THE SCHOELLECTION. 2021. Encyclopocalypse publishers. 

Will the horror never end?

Yes, all of my eight vintage horror-suspense novels have been re-published in paperback editions. The titles -- Things that Go Bump in the Night, Shivers, Late at Night, Vicious, Saurian, Dragon, The Pact, Fatal Beauty -- can be bought separately as trade paperbacks, or combined into one mass market paperback, with two books in each volume:

The Schoellection (I love it!) 

Volume One: Things that Go Bump in the Night and Shivers.

Volume Two: Late at Night and Vicious. 

Volume Three: Saurian and The Pact. 

Volume Four: Dragon and Fatal Beauty. 

Each title is also available as an e-book from Cemetery Dance publishers. 

You can see all the editions of my books on Amazon. 

NOTE: My most recent novel, Monster World, is also available on Anazon for Kindle. (Paperback coming soon!)

I'LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

Brooke Nevin and David Paetkau

I'LL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (2006). Director: Sylvain White. 

At a 4th of July celebration in a small town in Colorado, a prank that revolves around a series of slayings years ago turns into a tragedy and a resulting cover-up.  A year later Amber (Brooke Nevin), her boyfriend, Colby (David Paetkau) and their friends receive "I Know What You Did" text messages and eventually find themselves stalked and murdered by the fisherman-with-a-hook killer of the first two films in this series. 

The cast discover a corpse

I'll Always Know is, surprisingly, not a remake of I Know What You Did Last Summer, but the second sequel to the film, and it refers to events in the first two movies. The fisherman killer has been turned into a kind of supernatural force -- a la Freddie, Jason and Michael Myers -- which may explain the character's ability to cheat death but is most likely an attempt to create a new horror franchise. This is unlikely, given that the film is mediocre, has an off-putting lack of style, as well as a lack of energy and thrills, and is poorly directed and edited. Horror fanatics may watch it until the end -- and it does hold the attention for the most part -- but it's not a memorable entry in the slasher sweepstakes. 

Verdict: One summer you don't need to revisit. **. 

A QUIET PLACE

Emily Blunt

A QUIET PLACE (2018). Director: John Krasinski. 

In the near-future the world seems to have been virtually wiped out by strange, fast-moving creatures that are attracted by sound. Evelyn Abbott (Emily Blunt of Irresistible) and her family -- husband Lee (John Krasinksi, who also directed), daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds), and son Marcus (Noah Jupe) -- periodically leave their isolated home for food raids in the nearby town, but one afternoon their little boy (Cade Woodward) is snatched and never seen again. Evelyn is pregnant, and the family -- while remaining as quiet as possible -- must figure out a way to keep the screams of an infant from attracting the monsters when the baby  arrives ... 

In the grain bin

A Quiet Place has an interesting premise and other notable attributes. The film is well-cast with actors who not only have talent but great expressive faces, which along with the script help add a strong emotional component to the movie, something missing from most monster flicks. At times there's a Perils of Pauline quality to the movie, with one desperate incident piled on top of one another, and memorable scenes include the grisly sacrifice of one major character, a harrowing sequence set in a grain bin, the birth of the baby, among others. The film also boasts striking cinematography by Charlotte Bruus Christensen.

However, there's no getting around the fact that the film features contrived situations made to maximize the suspense and tension, so the moody film won't work for everyone, but in general it's a worthwhile thriller with several good sequences. I was hoping that the sequel would go in a different direction and offer some explanation for the creatures' existence, but instead I hear that this is simply a continuation of the first film. In other words, more of the same. 

Verdict: Sort of like a high-class Roger Corman movie. ***. 

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)

Dana Wynter and Kevin McCarthy

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956). Director: Don Siegel. 

In the small town of Santa Mira, the recently divorced Dr. Miles Bennell (Kevin McCarthy) rekindles a romance with the also recently divorced Becky Driscoll (Dana Wynter). However, their relationship has to take a back seat when there seems to be an epidemic of people insisting that their loved ones are not their loved ones. Miles believes this may be a form of mass hysteria, until his friends Jack and Theodora Belicec (King Donovan and Carolyn Jones) call him after they discover what appears to be a weird corpse on their pool table, a corpse that resembles a not-fully-formed version of Jack. Then they discover huge seed pods inside which duplicates of the townspeople are growing ... 

Something frightful on the pool table

This classic horror science-fiction movie has gotten even better with age. It packs a lot into an economical 80 minutes, and is beautifully paced and directed. McCarthy gives an especially passionate performance as a desperate man trying to not only save the woman he has always loved but the town and indeed the world as well. Wynter also gives a fine performance, along with Donovan and many others; Jones is particularly notable. Indeed the film is packed with interesting fifties performers, including Jean Willes as Miles' nurse, Sally; Virginia Christine as Becky's cousin, Wilma; Dabbs Greer, Larry Gates and others. Whit Bissell and Richard Deacon feature in the film's framing sequences, which were omitted in re-release.

Paranoid? Kevin McCarthy

Credit must be given to Daniel Mainwaring's script, Carmen Dragon's evocative score, and especially Ellsworth Fredericks' superb cinematography in "Super Scope." Although he did turn in fine directorial jobs on other films, this remains the high-water mark in the career of Don Siegel. The greenhouse sequence when all the pods are discovered with its off-kilter angles is only one of several notable sequences. The film's one great flaw is the utter illogic of Becky's "conversion" and one wishes the filmmakers had handled it much differently, but by no means does it strip the film of impact and enjoyment. 

Verdict: This is a real creepy treat. This is as much a well-crafted suspense thriller as it is a classic horror sci-fi film. ***1/2. 

LAW AND ORDER UK

Bradley Walsh and Jamie Berber

LAW AND ORDER UK British television series; 53 episodes. 2009. 

The American series Law and Order had just about wrapped up its twenty-year run, when producer Dick Wolf came out with this British version which ran for five seasons and 53 episodes. The series reused storylines from the American show but the scripts were re-written, with occasional changes in plot or outcome, and of course the characters of the cops and prosecutors were all different, making this essentially a completely different series despite the utilization of some familiar premises. A mainstay throughout the entire series was Bradley Walsh who superbly played detective Ronnie Brooks in every single episode. Like Lennie Briscoe in the American version, he was a reformed alcoholic, but there the resemblance ended. Ronnie had more compassion than Briscoe and he never made quips over dead bodies like Briscoe did. Jamie Berber was also outstanding as Ronnie's first partner, Matt Devlin. 

Daniels, Agyeman, Paterson

The original prosecuting team consisted of Ben Daniels as James Steel, Freema Agyeman as Alesha Phillips, and Bill Paterson as George Castle. (Like Jack McCoy on the original L & O, Steel had affairs with numerous co-workers, and left the series after being put on trial for misconduct.) Other fine actors appeared as replacements for both cops and ADAs over the years, but the original team was arguably the best. As good as the acting could be on the American version, these British actors had them beat. 

Among the more notable episodes were: "Vice," in which a cop is found dead in his car and in a compromising position; "Unsafe," in which Steel grabbles with a sociopath brilliantly played by Iain Glen; "Buried," in which a woman has memories of her father murdering a childhood friend; "Alesha," in which the prosecutor is raped by a gynecologist; "Shaken," which poses the question of which person shook a little baby to death. In "Crush" a prostitute's client is accused of her murder. "Intent" asks if a man murdered a couple at his parents' old house when he was drunk. "Survivor's Guilt" has the murderer of a major character  put on trial. In "Paternal" a deadbeat dad  is shot in his hotel room. "Hard Stop" examines the murders of a mob boss and several witnesses. "Haunted" poses an interesting dilemma: a man offers up a deathbed confession, but another suspect has already been convicted of the crime. Every episode of the series is available on Amazon Prime. 

Verdict: Possibly a bit better than the original series, with some great acting and stories (even if recycled). ***. 

THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW A. J. Finn

THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW. A J. Finn. William Morrow;2018.

Anna Fox suffers from agoraphobia and lives by herself in an East Harlem townhouse. Her husband left her and took their daughter with him, but Anna stays in communication with them. She spends her time -- in addition to heavy drinking and pill popping -- watching her neighbors, including a couple across the way who have a troubled teenage son, Ethan. One afternoon Anna is helped by, and gets to know, Ethan's mother, Jane, but some time later she appears to see Jane being stabbed through the window of the other building. However, the police think it is all an alcoholic, drug-influenced fantasy. Ethan's mother shows up -- and is a completely different woman from the one Anna met before. The Woman in the Window is well-written and it initially holds your attention, but the twists in the story -- and the identity of the true villain -- are so obvious that it pretty much ruins your enjoyment of the novel and you're just turning pages to get it over with. There are way too many recycled ideas in the book, but once it got bought for the movies (on Netflix, at least) it was destined for bestseller-hood. Serious fans of mystery and suspense books will find this a major disappointment. 

Verdict: Badly overhyped -- paging Agatha Christie. **1/4. 

BARE BONES

BARE BONES 7. Summer 2021. Edited by Peter Enfantino and John Scoleri. 

Bare Bones is a thick trade paperback quarterly periodical that covers genre films, books. magazines, and comics in both a scholarly and entertaining fashion. The latest issue, in which I'm very happy to be a contributor, includes an article on filmmaker Stuart Gordon's Lovecraft adaptations by Matthew R. Bradley; a roundtable on Quentin Tarantino's novelization of his film Once Upon a Time in ... Hollywood; a look at comic book adaptations of popular genre movies by yours truly entitled Fantastic Comics of the Silver Screen; "Sleaze Alley," Peter Enfantino's reviews of paperback crime fiction titles; David J. Schow on movie novelizations; and more on crime digests, pulp magazines and the like. The magazine is printed on thick paper stock and is well worth the price at only $9.95. it can be ordered on amazon. 

The cover of Bare Bones 7 is taken from the cover of Gold Key's excellent movie adaptation of King Kong, which was published decades after the film came out.

SATAN'S TRIANGLE

Doug McClure and Kim Novak

SATAN'S TRIANGLE (1975 telefilm). Director: Sutton Roley.

A Coast Guard copter comes across what appears to be a deserted yacht, although there are corpses -- and one live female -- on board. Lt. Haig (Doug McClure) tries to rescue Eva (Kim Novak) but the cable snaps before they can be lifted into the copter. Back on board, Eva tells Haig her story: they are in a part of the sea known as the Devil's Triangle, and supernatural things began to happen after a priest (Alejandro Rey), who survived a plane crash, is taken on board. Haig insists that there is a natural explanation for all of the deaths, including the sight of the corpse of the ship's wealthy owner, Hal (Jim Davis), which appears to be simply floating in mid-air in his cabin. But Haig may be in for a very rude awakening ... 

Alejandro Rey

Satan's Triangle is yet another movie about the Bermuda Triangle, even though it is never referred to by that name (nor as Satan's Triangle, either). It has a creepy premise and a good ending but the direction is so mediocre that what might have been a nail-biter is just another flaccid Movie-of-the-Week. We also have such cliches as the priest who councils a fallen woman, the former prostitute, Eva -- these two nearly make out in a scene which might at least have been interesting --  and some of the outdoor scenes seem to be shot through a smeared and grimy lens. The musical score is hopeless and aside from Rey and Michael Conrad as Haig's co-pilot the acting is generally poor as well. Rey portrayed the playboy in The Flying Nun TV series and he's quite effective in this. 

Verdict: Sort of like an EC comics horror story but not as good. **1/4. 

FLIGHT TO MARS

Huston, Franz and Mitchell

FLIGHT TO MARS (1951). Director: Lesley Selander. 

Five people travel on a spaceship to Mars: scientists Professor Jackson (Richard Gaines), Dr. Lane (John Litel of Runaway Daughters), and Dr. Barker (Arthur Franz); along with Barker's apparent fiancee and assistant, Carol (Virginia Huston); and reporter Steve Abbott (Cameron Mitchell of The Silent Scream). During the journey triangle tension develops between Barker, Carol and Steve, but they are in more danger from passing meteorites. Arriving on Mars they discover an advanced underground civilization. Although the leader, Ikron (Morris Ankrum of Beginning of the End), seems friendly to the earthlings and offers to help them repair their rocket ship, in reality he is scheming to steal their technology so they can leave their dying planet and take over the earth. 

The latest in Martian fashions!

Flight to Mars begins well, with some interesting discussions aboard the ship en route to Mars, and sincere attempts at characterization. One of the scientists puts forth the interesting theory that the universe is one enormous living being. Unfortunately, once the group reaches Mars, the film turns into a dreary and rather dull and cliche-ridden story of dying planets and alien treachery. Fortunately, some of the Martians are on the side of the visitors and help them, and there is some minor suspense as the earthlings make their getaway from Mars. The acting is good enough for this Monogram production. Marguerite Chapman is cast as Alita, a fetching Martian lady who falls for Barker even as his cast-off girlfriend begins falling for the persistent Abbott -- the soap opera aspects of the story are not compelling. 

Verdict: Begins well, becomes a bore. **. 

MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA Agatha Christie

MURDER IN MESOPOTAMIA Agatha Christie. (1936). William Morrow trade paperback edition. 

Agatha Christie accompanied her second husband, Max Mallowan, on his archeological expeditions, and on occasion used these digs as the location for one of her mysteries. In this suspenseful story, an attractive middle-aged woman, who brought out strong emotions in the people around her, the wife of the dig's leader, is found murdered, and famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot determines that it had to be an inside job. The victim had been receiving threatening letters, but it is not so certain that they were genuine. There are numerous suspects, various motives and strange psychological attributes that Poirot and the narrator, a young nurse, must sort through to arrive at the solution. The book is very well-written with excellent characterizations, as well as Christie's colorful view of the location, circa 1930's. While one aspect to the solution is quite clever, Christie is at her most audacious when she finally unveils the murderer. When I first read this novel decades ago,. I thought this was so far-fetched as to be laughable -- and it would have been a relatively simple matter for the author to clear up one or two points that would have made it more believable -- but now that I take the character flaws of the victim into stronger consideration, I wonder if the book is quite as improbable as I thought. In any case, whatever you think of the denouement, this is a fascinating mystery. This story was featured on an episode of the series Poirot with the wonderful David Suchet. 

Verdict: Christie doesn't kid around! ***

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA

Godzilla and Kong duke it out by the seaside

KING KONG VS. GODZILLA (aka Kingu Kongu tai Gojira/1962). Director: Ishiro Honda. NOTE: This is the original Japanese version of the film with English sub-titles. 

A submarine has an unfortunate encounter with Godzilla even as Mr. Tako (Ichiro Arishima), the hysterical head of a pharmaceutical firm, wishes he had something fantastic to help advertise his products. He orders two employees to Faro island to investigate stories of a berry with amazing qualities as well as of the supposed God that lords it over the natives, Kong. Kong turns out to actually exist, and the berries help put the big gorilla to sleep. Kong is captured and taken by boat to Japan, but he breaks free and engages Godzilla -- also on the loose on the mainland -- although their first encounter ends in a draw. Which of the legendary monsters will win in their second epic slugfest? 

Godzilla is ready for his close up

Godzilla/Gojira had already appeared in several Japanese films since Gojira when the idea came to pit the big lizard against the famous Kong, with not very felicitous results. For one thing, although the movie gets a bit more "dramatic" towards the end, it comes off like a parody for most of its length. The "suitmation" FX for the two title characters are pretty pitiful (Kong has a kind of tortured expression under his comical mask, but that may be the angst of the actor in the headgear), and the process work is also poor for the most part. The best sequence actually has to do with a gigantic octopus -- this appears to be the real thing -- that slithers around the native huts and gets driven off by Kong.

Sahara and Takashima

The human characters -- aside from that low comedy bumbler, Tako -- consist of Tako's employee Osamu Sakurai (Tadao Takashima), his sister Fumiko (Mie Hama), Fumiko's boyfriend, Kazuo (Kenji Sahara), and Osamu's colleague, Kinsaburo (Yu Fujiki). At one point Fumiko is picked off a train by Kong and carried around in his humongous paw (everyone else seems to fall from the train to their deaths but there's no reaction to this). The film is shot in widescreen "Tohoscope" and the score by Akira Ifukube is better than the film deserves. Gotta love the chorus sung by the natives as Kong falls asleep!

By the way it is not true that Kong wins the fight in the U.S. version and Godzilla in the original. In both versions they fall into the sea, Kong swims back to his island, and Godzilla is presumed still alive under the ocean. 

Verdict: Kong deserves so much better. Hell, so does Godzilla.  **. 

PARTY FROM HELL

Jackie Moore as Molly

PARTY FROM HELL (2021). Director: Jared Cohn. 

Denise (April Martucci) is planning to launch a new interface for her company with her sister-in-law, Ashley (Veronika Issa) -- bolstered by seven million from entrepreneur Peter (Eric Roberts) -- and a major party is planned for the event. Denise literally bumps into a party planner named Molly (Jackie Moore) and hires her to put the launch party together. At the tasting session, things don't go so well when Peter's allergy to peanuts sends him to the hospital -- no peanut products were supposed to be in the appetizers -- and things get worse from there. Ashley disappears as a vengeful Molly starts a campaign to not only destroy Denise but everyone around her, including her daughter Grace (Nicolette Langley) and husband, Josh (Matthew Pohlkamp). Molly takes no prisoners, even framing the nice black employee, Liam (DeShaude Barner) for theft of a corporate credit card. 

April Martucci

To be frank, Party from Hell isn't very good but it is entertaining, which counts for something. The actors are competent, although none of the performances stand out. Molly is the latest in a long line of sociopaths with a grudge -- in this case she hates a group of girls who tormented her in school and has already disposed of several of them. The story proceeds at a good pace, but is devoid of style or real tension. There's no elan to the murder sequences. As for primary victim Denise she fires Liam without doing any investigating, and gets absolutely hysterical because Josh has some lipstick on his collar after a party in a bar -- she's not too tightly wrapped, either. 

Verdict: Plan your next party yourself! **1/4.

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FEMALE JUNGLE

Burt Kaiser and Lawrence Tierney

FEMALE JUNGLE (1955). Director: Bruno VeSota.

An actress is strangled to death and a heavy-drinking cop, Jack Stevens (Lawrence Tierney), fears he may have had something to do with the murder in a black out. Suspects also include columnist Claude Almstead (John Carradine of Death at Love House), who was in love with the actress, and caricaturist Alex Voe (Burt Kaiser), who is married to waitress Peggy (Kathleen Crowley of The Flame Barrier) but is carrying on with Candy (Jayne Mansfield). As the night proceeds Almstead takes Peggy out for a ride and Stevens and Sgt. Duane (Duane Grey) interrogate Almstead; Duane is convinced that the columnist is guilty. But on this he may be fatally mistaken.

John Carradine

Female Jungle has only been remembered, if at all, because future brief star Jayne Mansfield has a small role. She has a credible death scene but otherwise her performance is undistinguished; leading lady Crowley is much, much better. Tierny and Carradine are solid, but the most impressive performance is given by Burt Kaiser, who also co-wrote the screenplay and produced. Despite his good looks and acting ability, Kaiser only made one film and had a very few TV credits. Connie Cezon, who plays another club employee, was receptionist Gertie on Perry Mason. Director Bruno VeSota gives himself a small role -- Cezon's husband -- but his direction is nothing to rave about and even in a clear print the film is criminally under-lit. Dull in spots, the picture goes on too long after the climax.

Verdict: Some good acting and a decent plot, but the execution is mediocre. **.   

SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW

SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW (2004). Director/writer: Kerry Conran.

This is an unfortunate attempt to recreate the excitement and craziness of the old Republic serials with some high-tech effects and computer imagery (so much of it that the movie almost resembles a cartoon). The movie takes place not in the future but circa World War Two, and features a battle between the heroic Sky Captain (Jude Law), a Blackhawk-type mercenary, and the evil Dr. Totenkopf, who attacks New York City with giant robots, and forces scientists to create strange animals (including, inexplicably, an elephant shrunken to the size of a stuffed toy). Totenkopf's plan is to build a space ark that will take his animals off into the cosmos while the Earth itself is vaporized. Helping Sky Captain is the intrepid reporter Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) and – in what amounts to a bit – female pilot Franky Cook (Angelina Jolie). Giovanni Ribisi is the captain's pal and associate Dex, who is kidnapped at one point. Although there are some fine FX and interesting scenic design and a few exciting moments (including the climax on the space ark) Sky Captain is never as entertaining as any of those old Republic serials, and both continuity and story are stilted, to say the least. Law is better in the heroic part than one would imagine, and Paltrow is also good as his partner-in-peril. The tongue-in-cheek script has some amusing moments, but after awhile its cliches become wearisome. In an improbable bit of stunt casting “Sir Laurence Olivier” is billed as Dr. Totenkopf, although the character turns out to be dead and is only seen as a withered corpse. Did the producers use Lord Olivier's voice? Who cares? Nothing could make this production particularly memorable.

Verdict: As expected, there were no sequels. *1/2.